Can't cope with dog..

[Polga123]

I have 3 young DC and 2 dogs, a male & female labrador. DH has just started a new job which means is is away a lot. Oor first dog is very laid back and gentle but our second dog (the male) has always been very hard work. He's been to puppy training, kennel club training and also seen a behaviorist, he is just naturally very bouncy and very large.

I am really struggling to cope with him & keep up with his energy levels. He is very difficult to control despite so much training and I find I am stressed most of the time because of him.

I feel terrible rehoming him., we all love him very much but I just can't cope and can't meet his needs. Is teh RSPCA the best option?

RSPCA are a dreadful option and will not rehome dogs from the general public unless a legal or cruelty case. So you stand no hope of them rehoming your dog.

Two threads in one morning wanting to rehome due to dc's .

Two threads in one morning wanting to rehome due to dc's

How dare people put their DC first?

I had 2 dogs and wanted another so I rehomed my friends dog. It went well for the first couple of months but then the new dog had a fight with my 15yr old dog and I couldn't leave them alone together after that because she is old and defenceless (just very miserable!) and he easily had the strength and size to kill her. I rang round all the dog homes but they said they wouldn't take him because of his breed and because he had bitten another dog. The RSPCA said they there was no hope of rehoming him and they would take him in but he would be put down. Luckily my friend said he would have him back so worked out in the end but I think the RSPCA maybe get so many animals that they can't provide for them all. I know my circumstances are different though because he had bitten my old dog. Anyway Labrador rescue might be able to help you. Good luck!

Thanks, I would never give him to a shelter that puts dogs down, no way. I will contact the labrador trust.

The RSPCA murder almost half of the animals they 'rescue' each year.

They'd get my pets over my dead body. Actually they wouldn't. I have made arrangements for my dogs in the event of illness or death, as I have for my children.

There are things that would help. Have you read Click To Calm? I did do bits of it with my terrier and it works wonders. I can't remember who it is by, but idri probably knows?

What's the dog fed on and how much exercise and training/games does he get each day?

So many people give up on their pets each year because of their children, with no real reason other than lack of forethought and effort and it's so heartbreaking. So many family pets are left alone and scared in rescues or simply to pts through no fault of their own and it's often so unnecessary. There was usually a simple solution that would've worked.

Because your dog is used to being around children and other dogs that will work in his favour. The dogs from Labrador Rescue are normally dogs that have come from a family environment I think. I looked at getting one from there because my other dog (not the 15yr old one) is a black lab and he's fab. I only didn't persue it because I then got the one from my friend and then when he went I didn't think it fair to introduce another dog that may lead to the same situation because the old one really is top dog and makes sure they know it! I will definitely look to LR for another dog though in the future

You've probably already done this, but could it be possible taking him out for a bit of exercise in the morning? If I do that with my dog, she'll be fairly chilled during the day.
Also, how about bones/Kongs/mental exercise toys (the ones that the dogs have to get treats out of)/antlers to chew on? That could keep him busy for a couple of hours.

Polga She didn't have to get two dogs -it was a choice they made and now when it gets tough and dc's come along they want to get rid of the dogs.

This happens time and time and time again and other people have to pick up the pieces or the dogs are destroyed. The dogs did not ask for any of this and have done nothing to deserve it.

I do not now if the dogs are the same age but anyone who has done basic research would have known this is a stupid thing to do.

idirdog I cant understand why your being so aggressive to the OP. All my dogs have come form very reputable breeders all who offered a "no questions asked and we'll take them back" service. As one breeder put it peoples lives change no one can predict whats going to happen in the future. Of course its undesirable to re home any dog but surely its better for the owner to ask for info/advise on here about rehoming rather than just dump them and run?
At the end of the day children should always be put first over a dog.

I don't think Idirdog is being aggressive at all and can well understand her frustration.

Too many people get pets without thinking ahead, plus this dog sounds fairly young, so chances are OP already had children when she got the dog.

Dogs are sentient beings. It's about time more people realised this. They are not disposable. They have needs and feelings of their own to consider.

Of course children's safety should come first, but no-where in the OP does it state that the dog is a danger to the children. Just that OP is struggling with his energy and it doesn't seem like a great deal of thought has been put into how to stop the exuberant behavior.

OP could make changes to diet, exercise and mental stimulation, she could crate train, she could use clicker training to teach the dog to be calm in the house, maybe the children also need training on how to behave around the dog when he gets excited.

Teaching the dog commands is not the same as teaching him what is expected of him in the house. I've taught mine to sit, stay, down etc. That doesn't mean they know not to run mad loops around the house, that requires a different kind of training.

Many, many dog owners manage with this and more each year. All it takes is a bit of thought and effort. Not too much to ask is it, bearing in mind the stress rehoming will cause the dog and the lesson it will teach the children.

One of my dogs had caused me many issues. Giving him up never occurred to me. It's just not something our family do or ever have done when faced with a difficult animal. In fact if I had have given him up without exhausting every other option available to me first, then my family would have fallen out with me over it. A dog is for life. That is a very clear lesson we were taught as children.

Thanks Doin you said that much more politely than I would have done.

Daily 100's of dogs are rehomed because people who got them did not think about the future. Things get difficult and then they rehome the dogs. They often go on to get another dog at a later stage but these stand a very high percentage of being rehomed again.

Noone makes you get a dog, but if you do you have to consider what you will do what your situation changes. Dogs can live for 16 years and you should be committed to the dog for this length of time. If you cannot do this and it is a big ask, do not get a dog.

Dogs will get ill and be expensive, dogs will have "issues" that need time to sort out. You will go through challenging times in the life time of the dog but you need to commit to the dog regardless. Otherwise do not get a dog.

Why get 2 high energy dogs when you have three dc's and when the going gets hard you rehome the dogs?

The reason people feel "terrible" rehoming dogs is because it is a terrible thing that they have bought on themselves.

"Dogs are sentient beings. It's about time more people realised this. They are not disposable. They have needs and feelings of their own to consider."
I'm not disputing this as the owner of two happy well adjusted and well behaved dogs who I love dearly I know that dogs are sentient beings but they are not and never will be our children.
The OP has three young DC's and a husband away maybe it has to be accepted that she doesn't have the time to "make changes to diet, exercise and mental stimulation, she could crate train, she could use clicker training to teach the dog to be calm in the house, maybe the children also need training on how to behave around the dog when he gets excited" without having a detrimental effect on the time she spends and in deed the welfare of her children. There is no point in having a beautifully trained dog but neglect your DC's in the process becasue as I've already stated they should and must take priority. Ultimately maybe she shouldn't have got the dog(s) in the first place and lets not forget the breeder who perhaps shouldn't have sold her the dogs if they came after the children but she has and she has a problem and if reputable breeders can offer non judgemental help and have a take them back no questions asked policy I don't see why those who post on this section of MN cant also be non judgemental and give those asking for advise even if it is about the tragedy rehoming.

Offs. No one is saying OP needs to spend every waking minute training the dog.

I have two children (one of whom has behavioral needs), two dogs (one of which is a high energy working breed) a cat, a full time job and part time college and a useless partner who cannot look after himself properly, much less the house and children and I foster dogs who may or may not have behavioral issues that need dealing with. I assist my disabled father with his pets quite often. Oh, yeah and there's dd2's fish as well.

I manage all of this and can still have time to read to my children, do their homework with them, go on days out (fair enough the dogs accompany us most times, but that's dog ownership for you) cook healthy meals for them and more. Tonight we are having a dvd night. Today I am meeting someone about a rescue dog and have played with the terrier and worked on his "beg" command and have walked all three dogs and cleaned the house. I even have time to go to the gym twice a week

If I can manage I am sure OP can find a way. Training need not be time consuming. Most of it can be done while getting on with other things, ie. clicking and treating the dog whenever OP spots him laid on his bed/mat.

Games can be as simple as playing 101 things to do with a box for 10 minutes, twice a day. The children can help with this.

This is why I have no sympathy for people who "must" rehome their dogs because they have "no time for them, now they have kids", well they should have thought of that before they got the dog, shouldn't they?

Why should we do hand-holding and hair stroking and ignore the fact that no-one is taking the dog's needs into account? A dog who did not ask to be bought by someone who has so little thought for his needs?

There is advise and hand holding and support for people who want to try, plenty of it.

Sorry to hear of your dilemma. Lab rescue would be an option - but even the breed rescue organisations struggle to find homes for the many unwanted dogs each year. What are you feeding him? It may be that a lower protein food, for example, would help. More exercise should certainly help - not just walking and running but mental exercise (for example hiding balls in the garden and getting him to sniff them out). Good luck, I hope you find a solution as the future isn't really that bright for dogs in rescue :(

I saw a brilliant thing on facebook once, i should look it up, it was about someone wanting to rehome their child because their parents had a new dog and the child was demanding and putting the dogs nose out of joint.

Your dog hasnt shown aggression in any way, he is just bouncy - why why WHY did you get a second dog if you have three young children. Was it that he was just soooooooo cute when he was a puppy and your brain flew out of the window?

Its really tough to find homes for dogs just now, many of the no-kill rehoming centres are full and turning away dogs unless they are sure they can find them homes. Best of luck with rehoming him, but i don't know how you can bear to do it - If i did this I couldn't cope with not knowing what was happening to them. It was break me - the other day my DD was asked about the members of her family, she said "mummy, daddy, me and ddog1 and ddog2" No, my dogs are not children (they are far easier to deal with!) but they are family memebers and as such, my responsibility.

Some great advice there from 1MitchelMum - also, how old is the dog? Is he a "teenager"? Is he castrated? Please try everything you can before you rehome him - or you WILL regret it, you might think its the best option but the best option really is for you to make it work. Also, it would be really shit to separate the two dogs

I can totally understand people going - it's the second thread today where someone wants to get rid of a dog, just for being a dog. I mean, young lab is energetic...it's not exactly a shock is it?

There are so many things you can do with children and dogs, or even get children to do with dogs, it's not an either or thing, surely?

Hide and seek, playing with a football, even very young children can do basic training and it keeps them both busy.

I think the reason why these threads annoy some people is that OPs are not putting their children first, they are putting themselves first. A young, energetic, child friendly dog is not a bother to the children, but looking after this dog is a lot of extra work for the parents. The sad fact is that people again and again get dogs without thinking through the consequences. Someone on a horse forum said recently that owners who are rehoming want their horses to go to amazing, forever homes...exactly the kind of homes they are not prepared to offer!

OP can you get a dog walker?

Boo - you are exactly right - the number of people trying to find good homes for there elderly horses that they have had for years , astounds me.

My only suggestion to Op us a dog walker..... Someone who will take fov out , and wear it out.

Yes, I utilise the children as much as possible when entertaining dogs. If I am washing up the answer to "mam, I'm bored" is always "Take Devil Dog into the yard and throw a ball for him or work on his drop and give it commands"

The kids love clicker training, with all of the dogs. They love to help and find it fascinating to watch/learn about.

Dd1 has once covered Devil Dog from head to paw in cubes of cheese while teaching leave and wait She's also taught him to wind through her legs, jump up at her on command and jump through her arms when she holds them out in a hoop shape. Dd2 has taught the cat to sit on command using a clicker and tinned tuna. Keeps dogs, cats and children entertained while I get on with college work or cleaning up in the near vicinity.

D0oinMeCleanin, I agree.

OP, things will get better, easier. I know your post said nothing about it is your DC's fault at all. Your just stressed out. Find someone to walk your dogs? Find someone to watch the children and then spend time with your dogs? (esp. the hyper one)

Don't give up on your dog. It's not their fault. You just need to change things a bit in your life, so things are easier for everyone.

jmho.

OP, take a look at these. Your kids can help with most/all of this

boo just that. Well said. Though a horse can be slightly different to a dog. People do buy and sell them.

Yes the dogs are hard work but I just can't imagine being without them? They were there when I got my positive test, in labour, got me out the house in the early days of parenting. Play ball. Make me Hoover three times a day.....I just couldn't imagine them living anywhere but with me?

What are you feeding him?