Have I made a BIG mistake???

[mummyof2kidsx]

We got our little sheltie puppy 2.5 weeks ago. My husband bought him for my daughter for her birthday. I have wanted one for a long time so I was all for it! He is adorable. Laid back, cute, gorgeous but I think I have made a mistake. I can't believe I was so impulsive and stupid. We have a 21 month old and a just turned 4 year old! We went to see him and I just fell in love....we all did. I just don't think I can do it? but at the same time I don't want to give up on him. I have been trying so hard to train him but I am just not getting anywhere. I literally follow him around constantly and when I can't watch him, I put him in his crate with his toys. But he poos and wees in his crate too! This is my first puppy so I'm a little overwhelmed. I said to myself it will be fine when he's trained but I just cant see a light at the end of the tunnel... I know it's only been two weeks and I don't expect him to be trained by now but he really just isn't making any progress. I take him out all the time into the garden. At least twice an hour. I wake up through the night to take him out too! I feel like I have him in the crate all the time but with two young children it's so hard... We should have waited. I knew it was going to be hard and everyone said I should wait but I thought I knew better. I was stupid.... Not only that I am completely stressed out with life at the moment... my marriage is at breaking point... I couldn't cope without a puppy and know I don't know how I'm going to get through this..... Please will someone tell me it gets easier...I don't want to get rid of our beautiful puppy. I love him, my husband loves him and so do the kids. The problem is not the puppy, it's me! My husband doesn't help whatsoever, with anything! Nothing in the house. Its all me, looking after the kids, cleaning shopping etc now a puppy...... I know it's my own fault and I am an idiot for getting him, but now I have him so I'm going to try my hardest.... I just dont know what to do...

shut not shit oops lol

Keep the puppy. Bin the hubby.

Tbh, mummy, in your situation I don't think I'd want to raise a puppy. You have so much going on, and if your DH won't help at all...It sounds very tough. My DH isn't as mad about animals as I am, but has no problem walking/cleaning up poo/taking to the vets etc as and when. He doesn't do the training, but then I'm at home all the time so prefer to do that myself anyway.

Lets see if we can help to make it easier for you Puppies are hard work BUT it does get easier and easier.

House training does not take weeks and weeks.

The first few weeks can be hard work and can at times seem overwhelming but things do settle down.

How big is his crate?
What do you feed him on
Roughly what is his daily timetable.

Breed? Deep breaths, gin, gin more gin and a hip flask.

Hope anxiety ok, get the odd rising panic feeling myself but not trying to understand on the same level.

hahaha well as i said, my marriage is at breaking point lol...

this isn't directed at you OP, but i see posts like yours here and hear it in RL too.

i just wish people realised that choosing to have a dog in your home is like choosing to have another child. it is as big a commitment (workwise!) and all the adults in the family need to be in agreement and both be willing to put in the work to make the dog a well behaved, safe, enjoyable member of the family. it really isn't like getting a rabbit or guniea pig. dogs are an entirely different commitment and i dont think many people realise exactly what they are comitting to when they decide to get one.

"House training does not take weeks and weeks."

it can do. not all dogs manage it so quickly.

House-training does take a little while; he's only tiny and can't hold it that long at the moment. Don't worry about using a command for now but keep doing what you are doing in taking him out often, and every time you see him looking like he might want to go, and give him lots of praise and fuss when he goes outside. If he has an accident inside, just ignore him (don't tell him off) and get it cleaned up, using a biological cleaner (because otherwise he can still smell it even though we can't).

There is a really great new book called Life Skills for Puppies which focusses on the things he needs to learn. There is also a free dog training textbook by Ian Dunbar on the Dog Star Daily website.

Have you booked him into puppy classes yet? They make a big difference and also really help with the socialization. Studies show that dogs that attended puppy classes are much calmer as adult dogs. Also you will see others in the same boat! Pick a class that uses positive reinforcement - don't go to anyone who uses inhumane methods as they can cause lots of problems in the long run.

Apart from the house-training, socialization and teaching bite suppression should be your main focus. Again, Ian Dunbar has some great stuff on this in his free book. You need to give the puppy happy, safe experiences with all kinds of people and dogs because there is a key socialization period in which they learn about the world. Children, wheelchairs, people in sunglasses/with hats/with walking sticks, bicycles, household noises, etc etc - if he has positive experiences with them now then he won't be afraid of them as an adult.

Can you ask your DH to help? A puppy is a lot of work on its own, never mind with small dc to look after too! It actually sounds like you are doing well and if you search for previous puppy threads on here, you'll see that many people find it overwhelming.

House training does NOT take weeks and weeks if done correctly.

How big is his crate? WAY too big, i'm going to buy him a smaller one tomorrow. I tried to divide with cardboard boxes but he just climbs on top of them and has a nice little cosy spot.
What do you feed him on - science plan puppy and he loooooves chicken as treats. he doesnt like other treats
Roughly what is his daily timetable. - wake at 6am, put him outside for a wee, bring him in feed him in his crate, give him half an hour, put him outside again. take him out at regular intervals for toilet, play with him when he has just done his business , dinner approx 12pm and 6pm, lots of cuddles from me when the kids are in bed, take him out before i go to bed around 11pm. set alarm for 3am to take him out. he hardly ever goes though so after like half an hour outside in the middle of the night i just put him back to bed. by 6am when I wake up if i'm lucky his cage is the way i left it the night before, if im not lucky a big poo waiting...

dogs aren't robots idirdog.

they're all different and they all take different amounts of time to grasp different skills.

To be honest i did research it a lot but i still didn't realize how hard it is. It really is harder than when I had a 27 months old and a newborn and I thought that was the height of stress fullness. Maybe its because I never had dogs growing up but I always wanted one and I have friends that have dogs and they don't complain... I am going to persevere though, I couldn't have picked a better dog for temperament. He loves the kids the kids love him.. My daughter would be distraught if I was to ever give him up..

Ok A smaller crate will usually stop him pooing and weeing in his crate. (although now he has started this he may do it for a bit - just ignore this and clean up)

Go outside with him when he wakes up and after meals. If he does a wee quickly treat and play.

If he does not wee quite soon come back indoors and try again. Don't stay outside for ages and ages. You want him to make a real association with going outside to wee rather than just being outside and having a wee.

Do not wake him up in the night. Dogs will repeat rewarding behaviour so if he gets treats play smile claps etc when he wees outside but absolutely no response if he wees indoors he will quickly associate the correct place to wee. So he is learning even if he does wee inside.

Mummy. Me too. Never had a dog. Always wanted one. Researched and read loads. Still a shock! You are doing great. A good routine. Our crate was massive as it was a friend who have a vizsla but not sure that made a huge difference to toilet training.

Having a dh totally on board makes a massive difference. Can you see if he might help at all? Your kids are still small.

Idirdog - come and help me on my thread please - because I've been trying for over a year!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_doghouse/1732500-I-think-Ive-gone-wrong-somewhere-house-training-shes-over-a-year-old

There is absolutely NOWAY my husband will do anymore than what he does now and that is shutting a door on him so he cant get out of the room he's in.. He literally does nothing in the house, just goes to work then comes home and plays on his ps3. He is a manchild... I feel like Iv got 3 kids and a puppy not 2 and a puppy.... to be honest my head is wrecked...just can't cope with anything anymore, what is happening with my pup is probably completely normal and he is probably going to be a perfect litttle dog and i'm just being over the top worrying xx

really OP, i think you have too much to deal with before adding a puppy to the mix. what you DH has done is essentially given you another child to look after without being prepared to support you at all. i would be furious with him. what the hell did he buy a dog for if he doesn't want one?

i'm furious with him about a lot of things not just this situation. I dont know why I did it. My head is all over the place to be honest, I know how bad things are at home and I still went ahead and bought a puppy. I think i'm actually going insane.

I know dogs are not robots they would not be half as much fun if they were

I work with dogs and have owned and fostered too many dogs to mention and ALL dogs can be housetrained.

"ALL dogs can be housetrained."

who said they couldn't?

Mummy, huge sympathy. It sounds like you have it really tough. Do you really want to keep the pup? Or do you think you'd feel relieved if it was rehomed?

WTFisABooyhooISBooyhoo you seem very aggressive to my posts so I will leave this thread. I

OP if you need help re puppy feel free to pm. I hope things work out for you

My DH was a bit like this but loves the pup. Who is still not reliable.

Dog trainer, and I expect there are lots of other experience people on here, says,
Growl at him, BAH, if he us doing something you don't like, as his mother would.

Take him out 20 to 30 mins after a meal.

Reward him with praise and cuddles. Never use his name in disapproval.

And I would put down newspapers in an area of the crate or the room where you don't mind him widdling etc. Praise him immediately if you catch him behaving well. And growl otherwise. But it needs to be immediate, about 30 seconds.

He will get it, although it may take a little time.

It's tough with such small but prob worth persevering .

I think i'd feel relieved if we didn't have him but Ilove him so much its hard which is why I want to give him a chance. I want to wait atleast a few more weeks. When we got him he was trained on puppy pads...for 5 days we carried on but then I decided to scrap them for crate training. The good thing about the puppy pads is that he could be out with us all the time playing, cuddling etc and hed just do his business on his pads. the bad thing is that it teaches him its ok to do it inside. but now we have the crate, the poor thing is stuck in the crate all the time cos if i let him out he wees poos. i dunno wether to keep crate training or go back to the pads.... i havent a clue... can anyone advise?? xxx