What unreasonable expectations does your dog have......

[Floralnomad]

Took Floraldog to the field with his mini football this morning . I kicked the ball ,he tried to catch it ,missed and it bounced off his head into a huge bramble patch. He then stood looking at me as if to say 'well go on then ' . Five minutes later and covered in scratches he's got his ball back and I didn't even get a thank you ! Bloody cheek .

Mobile mop expects me to turn him into a human! Only a little thing I should have achieved it months ago.

Mine thinks I should control the weather - if it's raining, obviously I should make it stop.

Mine expects a pillow & blanket up to his shoulders, whilst relaxing on the sofa & is quite blasé about me taking his water bowl up to him if he is laying on his bed. He drinks as much as he wants (whilst I'm holding the bowl) then I have to put it back next to his food.
DH is

vintage that really is going to far !

Yesterday my dog unreasonably expected that I wouldn't notice my sandwich going missing during the time it took me to answer the door.

All of them think I'm being unreasonable when I use the hosepipe to remove their carefully applied eau de fox poo.

DoggyBeBuggered spent years training us to give him a treat when he gets in from a walk. As he got older and less active he revised his expectations to include a snack whenever he's back in from a wander around the garden.
Now, he wants food every time he ventures near the back door, and has perfected a mortally-offended expression to use when we let him down.

Mine expects me to allow him to sniff men's bottoms and I don't mean a little sniff I mean snout right under the bottom and then lifted up. He really can't understand why this might be embarrassing.

He doesn't do it to women

My dog will pointedly look hard at a patch of sun on the wall and then at me, back and forth, in the expectation that I will bring the sunshine down to the point where he can lie on it. If I don't do it, he starts crying.

He is also getting increasingly irritable and tuttsome about the fact that I still haven't given the "Kill the hamster/guinea-pig/canary" command, after all these years, and that I take so little notice of his "There is a hedgehog in the garden" alerts.

Mine expects to be able to sit at the table for family meals, despite never having done so, and turns into a wobbly old lady dog, who hobbles away sadly, when told to get down.

She's a four year old jack russel for gods sake.

oaty he sounds exactly like mine except its 'kill the rabbit' in our house .

He expects me to stroke him every time he so wishes... which I normally do.

However, he often does it when I am sitting on a dining chair and then because he loves it and gets quite relaxed, he lies down. If I stop stroking him because I don't want to bend down awkwardly, he puts himself up again and gives me a nudge. I love him but he can be exhausting!

Boneydog unreasonably expects me to make the cat like her !!

I have explained to her multiple times that the cat was tossed up from hell for being too mean and if boneydog will insist on shoving her muzzle in boneycats face, waking her up with a jump bad things will happen !!

brecon that made me laugh - it's exactly what my dog's in the slow process of doing too!

My little dachshund loved her game of pushing her ball way under the wardrobe, which even for her was too narrow to get under, and calling us to get it out for her. Which involved lying on the floor and getting a crick in our neck or shoulder reaching for it.

My dog expects to shred every ball she gets her teeth on yet for the same ball to be intact and ready to play with the next time we go for a walk.

My dog will quite happily jump in and out of the car.... Except when we have had an exceptionally long, wet and muddy walk. Then he completely his "in you get" command and looks sadly at me until I carefully pick him up and wrap him in a towel.

Forgets him command, doh!

That the 14 lamb chops defrosting on the side are actually for her to gobble up for lunch.

If I say 'good girl' at any time anywhere in the house, PancakeDog runs to the kitchen and stares at the dog food cupboard as if to say "so where's my fucking biscuit treat then?".

My dog expects to be allowed upstairs
I've had him since a pup
He's never been allowed upstairs
Still tries at least twice a day

If her ladyship gets a particularly muddy paw, she will dolefully hold it aloft and limp on three legs until me or DH wipes the offending muck off. This usually happens when we have nothing to wipe it with but our hands or clothing.