Puppy told off by woman for wanting to play with her dog!

[ohnoudidnt]

She screamed at her to go away and told me to put her on a lead as her dog didnt want to play and she picked her little dog up....I called my 6 month gs pup back and she came to me and we walked a different way.Not sure if this should be in aibu but it really just pissed me off as she did nothing wrong.

Some people, strangely, wish their dogs to have little or no interaction with other dogs and go to great lengths to achieve this. I have come across it a few times and find it most odd as two dogs playing is a lovely sight IMO and the people who do this apply it to any dog whether it is playing nicely or being a pain. There is nowt as queer as folk. :)

Was her dog on a lead and your dog off lead? She may have had good reason to tell you to remove your dog. Like her dog wanting to eat yours, for example.

Yes i found it very strange too.Both dogs off lead.

Your puppy really shouldn't be allowed to just run over to other dogs so YABU, sorry.

I am generally happy for my dog to play, but he is a whippet and lots of dog owners just see him as a fab opportunity to wear their dogs out , this is not on when it is hot or if he is running because he is afraid, so I prefer people to ask first.

My last dog would have tried to ignored your puppy for a few minutes, but if you hadn't got it away by then he would have run out of patience and attacked it, he was very puppy intolerent.

The same dog when a puppy was once kicked very hard in the ribs by a man for running over and sniffing his dog .

You never know why people don't want your puppy around, but they have the right to walk their dogs in peace, for your puppy's own safety it needs to be under your control.

Her recall is under control hence her coming straight back to me when called.

Maybe nice in theory, in practice though, if their dog is off the lead I assume their dog possesses normal tolerant doggy social skills and mirror likewise as my dog isn't aggressive. If their dog is on a lead I assume there is some reason and ditto mirror that.

Kids in parks don't ask permission before playing together, sometimes a argument over the swings breaks out. Life continues, it is a public space where socialising can occur. I see dog walks in a similar vein.

Absolutely Jenner! It would be impossible. And how are they suppose to get social skills unless they are allowed to play! I think some people make things worse by not allowing dogs to communicate in their own doggy way by picking them up etc . I so understand that if a dog is on a lead it may be for a reason.

A lot of dogs which interact nicely off the lead are nervous or argumentative on the lead. The fact they are not free to escape if they wish to, or use their body language how they would if free, plays its part in that I think. It is good if dogs can socialise, it makes them better dogs and pets. The dogs which are not suited to that for whatever reason are normally known by their owner who can manage.

There is one chap who walks near us who calls ahead to warn people who don't know him his dog is a fighter and gives them time to get the dog on the lead.

I think a world where you assume the best and the nasties are the exception is a better world than one where we assume the worst first.

Personally I do think dogs should be allowed to approach other dogs willy nilly and if they do I would suggest they are not really under control.

My dog stays with me as I have worked hard to make sure I am way more interesting than anything else going on, he has many doggy friends and spends alot of time doing normal doggy stuff with them but only on my terms.

This article on pushy/rude dogs and puppies is interesting reading.

I am lucky enough to train with quite a well known canine behaviourist their view is certainly that dogs should not be allowed to approach others without their owners permission, it would be a far easier doggy world if this was something we all strived for.

Ha 'Personally I do think dogs should not be allowed'

GobblersKnob Do you also think your last dog was acceptable for attacking a puppy that came to say hello?

I see what you are saying Gobblers

However, I don't feel it is reasonable. I walk past literally dozens of people with dogs when I walk my dog. My dog isn't particularly into other dogs (prefers his frisbee) so going past usually involves a glance/sniff in their direction and little more unless the other dog wants to engage.

If I had to put him on the lead every time I went past another I'd be at it constantly, it would be really annoying and wouldn't actually prevent any problem as there is no problem to prevent. If I kept him at heel instead of using the lead it would make a difference of a couple of feet or two but again would alter the course of events not a jot. So I prefer to let him sniff his grass and mooch and get on with it. unless the other dog is on the lead, where again I assume there is a reason and mirror it, but then that is the exception not the norm.

So I can see how if everyone kept their dog under as close control as you do the occasions when mishaps occur would be fewer, but since these are rare anyway, a lot of freedom is lost at this expense. In other words the cost-benefit isn't proportionate.

Maybe I just don't meet enough aggressive dogs where I live.

Seriously? Please may my dog play with your dog? If both are off the lead and look happy and are running it's perfect. If the other dog is on a lead I call my dog to heel.
Likewise, I often see a guy who has a very agressive dog and he warns people about him. He's brilliant with it.

GobblersKnob that link is very interesting.Makes you think about things from a diff point of view.

God...thankfully we walk in an area with nice people and nice dogs. If both dogs are off the lead then I assume the other dog is ok with other dogs. If you don't want your dog to play with others then put it on a lead to demonstrate as such.

Walking your dog is supposed to be a relaxing calming thing to do. If someone had screamed at me - I would have screamed right back....cheeky mare.

I don't think it is fair to assume that every off-lead dog is up for socialising. If she really did " scream" at your puppy, then that is wrong of course, but simply to tell your puppy to leave her dog, and to say the same to you, is reasonable. She may have been afraid that her dog would nip a puppy. Lots of adult dogs are intolerant of overly intrusive puppies. We live in a world where there is zero tolerance of one dog biting another, so people are cagey when they think there is a risk of their dog nipping

There are dogs that are calm and unaggressive passing other dogs, but bad-tempered when hassled by other dogs. It isn't fair to expect the owners of other dogs to take all the burden of keeping unwanted interactions at bay: it is reasonable to look for cues from the other owner before letting you puppy zoom up. Just in the same way that you would ask before letting your child stroke a dog.

ohnoudidnt no, I don't think it was at all acceptable as and he got older and his fuse shorter I took to muzzling him (he was always on a lead unless we were somewhere totally free of other dogs). However if other people hadn't allowed their dogs to come over their wouldn't have been a problem as he would never approach another dog.

This could be why I feel quite strongly about it, if you have always owned happy, sociable dogs it is harder to see the problem. For me it has been compounded by now having a dog who is extremely easy going and sociable, but has been attacked a couple of times and if an aggressive dog runs at him he will take flight, not fantastic when he can run at 35 mph! Hence it is easier for me to keep him at my side where I can leash him as necessary. He is not under some kind of military heel btw, just mooching 6-10 foot in front or behind, but will not 'run on' without a command.

JennerOSity could well be true, we have some pretty lousy owners and their unlucky (refuse to blame them) pooches around here, some are shockingly behaved.

My parents have rehomed a dog who was not socialised as a puppy at all. As a result he has no sense of other dogs limits and he has to be well managed on walks.

Most dogs when hassled by an exuberant puppy will give a 'telling off' but a fight or actual damage would be very unusual. But this is how the puppy learns to limit their play and keep it within reason. Without this happening to puppies you end up with an adult dog with poor social skills.

OK, maybe best to try to use dogs you know to interact with your puppy to socialise it but in the real world that isn't always possible and if more dogs are socialised well as puppies there will be fewer problem adult dogs.

Where I walk a puppy 'learning' is smilingly tolerated and many stories swapped of what their dog was like as a puppy etc etc, while the puppy owners are often grateful to the 'elder statesman' dog giving them a gentle cuff round the ear to curb the extremes of the puppy-ness and teach them to be a better well-rounded doggy.

gobblers it sounds like you are a very skilled dog trainer, maybe the horrible ones near you will see your example and consider it

JennerOSity that is so right.I do feel like she learns so much from being around other dogs about what is acceptable and when to stop,and humans can not teach that.
It is the 1st time anyone has said anything neg,and she does have lots of dog friends we see every day so no loss.It just puzzled me as to why she got told off for gently approaching another dog and wanting to play.

My dog would roll an intrusive dog over into the "submit" position and/or nip the dog on the back of the neck if I didn't restrict the interaction. It is unlikely but not impossible that this would do real harm. I don't want to risk him doing it, but since he doesn't ever approach other dogs, and it only happens if other dogs approach him, keeping him on lead isn't really either a necessary or a helpful solution. I train him to focus on me (and my trusty squeaky ball) when other dogs are close, and things can only go wrong if the other owner insists on letting their dog approach.

I used to have a very good tempered dog, and to share many owners lack of understanding of the need to keep dog-on-dog interactions under human control. I get quite a few owners who say "Oh, it doesn't matter, my dog needs to learn limits" but I have also had an owner who hit my dog with a metal chain, and even threatened me with the same chain, because my dog (who was on the lead at the time!) had nipped his out-of-control puppy.

I did start off allowing my dog to interact much more freely: it isn't lack of socialising opportunities that has made him wary of other dogs.

It is a little like parenting, we all have a slightly different take on the best approach liberal v. authoritarian v. authoritative etc.

Most people can rub along despite the differences, and little short of a vicious dog excuses screaming at a perfect stranger! It is definitely a case of trying to let it go over your head and not let it get to you or change your reasonable behaviour.

A 6 month old GS initiating play would be their idea of hell as far as 2 of my dogs are concerned!

They are a toy breed so your 'puppy' will already be much bigger than them and from experience they know that large breed puppy play is NO fun for them.

So although I wouldn't scream at your dog I would be very cautious if I saw it approach and can't help feeling YAB a little bit U - apart from the unnecessary screaming.

In fact I would let my boys stay safely out of the way while I fussed your puppy.

Mothership My rather large dog is scared of toy breeds (was chased off the beach by a chihuahua in a pink diamante T-shirt)

Jenner How embarrassing! I hope he is ok!

I really dislike owners of small dogs that don't think they need manners and don't train them or even treat them like dogs....

But I do think that the owners of large dogs, especially large, bouncy, friendly puppies, need to put their heads about 8 inches from the floor and see their puppies approach from the small dog's view point!