Feeling very despondent tonight, doom-mongers galore!

[Gorran]

Right, so word has got out (thanks to my extremely excited 7yo telling all her friends that we're getting a pup) and absolutely everything everyone has had to say has been negative.

Labrador puppies are awful, so destructive, have eaten through various friends' brother's cousins' walls, turned their gardens into tips, uncontrollable, horrible dogs until they're well past two years, too much work, you name it - they've said it.

I was so excited and really thought we were doing the right thing. I'm a SAHM/Housewife (call it what you will), my husband also works from home 3/4 days a week, we're very keen on making sure the dog is well-trained, well, not just keen, it's absolutely imperative to us. Will do everything by the book and I generally thought we had the right idea. Now I'm just so nervous. We know all the pitfalls, the hard work etc. but we also thought it would be fun, great for us as a family, brilliant for our daughters, a fantastic stress-reliever for my husband (eventually, anyway!) - everyone is just making it sound like one hard slog, and just not worth it.

I think I could do with some positive thinking!

My mum's wee black lab ate an entire breakfast bar and all four matching stools, took her most of her life but she managed it in the end [not helpful]

She was also one of the most loving and patient dogs you could ever have had the pleasure of knowing. I've had many dogs in my life and there are only two I would have said with 100% confidence that they were utterly safe and would never hurt anyone, no matter what. She was one of them. She was very easy going and laid back, once her puppy years were past and training helped occupy her mind and energies when she was younger. She didn't really do the mouthing and nipping for long. It wasn't really in her nature, she just wanted to be loved and fed

Labs are very, very clever and with the right training can be very easy to manage. I don't think I've spotted any threads by you about this pup (I work about elevnty million hours a week atm, so don't come on MN as much and when I am on I am normally skim reading at work) but I assume other posters will have already reccommened Gwen Bailey's Perfect Puppy and the normal training classes, socialisation etc that all new owners should think about?

They are so cute tough, and if you can keep an eye on the puppy, and DH also gets involved then your house doesn't have to be chewed to bits.

Have you chosen one yet? Is he/she really cute?

Thank you. Yes, I have downloaded that book, and it really resonates with me, a lot seems so much like common sense, but I can already think of a good handful of dog-owners I know that do the complete opposite of what is recommended, and I can see where their problems originated, now.

We're booked onto puppy training classes, and I'm going to be doing all the socialisation I can. A benefit of being at home, and having plenty of time, or so I thought anyway!

Adorabell - yes, she's an 11 week old chocolate labrador puppy, from a rescue, currently in foster care. She's called Daisy and is just adorable.

I just think the more I think (I suffer from analysis paralysis I think!) the worse all the problems seem to become. And I struggle to see any positives.

I want to tell you everything will be fine and most probably it will.

But this worries me "we're very keen on making sure the dog is well-trained, well, not just keen, it's absolutely imperative to us" even with the best made plan to expect a consistently very well behaved dog before the age of two is unrealistic, obviously behaviour will continue to improve, but you have to expect quite big blips up to that point.

Also dogs are living breathing creatures with personalities, they can be shaped up to a point, but are just like children some are angels and some are horrors, there are no guarentees, no matter how much you play it 'by the book'.

I am not trying to add to the negativity, I hope all goes swimmingly for you and it sounds like you have thought it through so it probably will. Just remember the hard work really is just that, but well worth it in the end.

Sounds like you've done your homework. You'll be fine, while training puppies is my idea of hell (give me an adult rescue over a pup any day) it's very rewarding when it goes right.

You sound like you have a good set up to give it your best. You might find that training the children is harder than training the dog. I know I did

Aw there will be enormous positives op, really there will and they will massively out weigh the negatives, as long as you go into it with your eyes open (and you really do sound well prepared) and a very good sense of humour

Gobbleleknob - just like having well behaved children was/is imperative to me, as I think it's unfair to everyone otherwise! Perhaps it didn't read well, what I meant was, I won't be the kind of owner who will let the dog chew everything in the house, surely that HAS to be preventable? The people I know who these things have happened to haven't used crates, haven't supervised the dog properly, haven't set boundaries etc. I don't know, maybe I HAVE got a huge shock coming!

I do totally understand what you mean about the dog's personality, there being blips, ups/downs etc. I guess what I meant was I just can't accept that there is no alternative other than a dog that does all those things, all the time. Surely with training, rewards, consistency etc. a well behaved dog is achievable? Without my house being destroyed in the process?!

It's good to know there will be positives (I'm just so sad today, all I've heard from everyone has been doom and gloom!) - it's why people get a dog, after all!

Thank you for replying.

You'll have good days and bad days while the pup is learning but you will look back and laugh, even at the bad days.

I can now laugh at "Stop waving your arms about, that's why she's jumping up. Yes I know I said be a tree, but be a still tree, no it's not windy. Oh for heavens sake, be a rock then. Not on the floor. Stop squeaking. Oh great, now she thinks it's a game" while the pup was mauling dd2, who thought it was great fun. She still jumps up at dd2. Dd2 still thinks it is great fun. Our house is still windy when she is being a tree [twitch]

There are positives to it. The end of the day snuggle makes it all worth it. And the fact that they are always so pleased to see you, even if you only nipped to the loo for a wee.

I have (an overexcited!) 4yo and a (calmer) 7yo. I can envisage many conversations like you describe above:o

I shall try and focus on the positives and the excitement I felt when we decided last week we were getting her!

I have had many dogs/puppies, I am pretty dog savvy (I also do dog sitting walking and a little training).

I couldn't even begin to list the things I have had ruined

Imagine a deaf two year old child with massive teeth, who is four times quicker than you and has no comprehension of anything you say and doesn't care anyway. Actually don't imagine that, it's a bit scarey, but that's a puppy and a Lab one is quite large quite quickly too.

Of course a well behaved dog is achievable, and I'm sure your house will remain standing, but do expect things and quite probably things matter quite a lot to you or your children to get trashed in the process, puppies cause chaos, they just do.

I am grateful for your knowledge, I can't pretend to be as dog-savvy at all! I guess I'll just prepare myself for the worst (not much is souns very positive tonight!) and I can only be pleasantly surprised I guess.

Do many people regret their dogs? I honestly thought we'd thought this all through, we've wanted a dog for a good 3/4 years, but have waited until the most perfect time (if there is such a thing, but I mean in terms of time I have available etc.) and have thought a lot in the process.

As I said, I suffer terribly from over-thinking, never a good thing!

My black Lab is beautiful.

He had his moments as a pup and still does, sometimes, as a 12 year old. Yes, he's chewed a few things, we are one game of Scrabble down now thanks to a moment of boredom and he has upended the kitchen bin on numerous several occasions BUT

The good has, by far and away, outweighed the bad. He was proper poorly for the first time ever two weeks ago and we were scared for a while that he was going to die. It was amazing to realise just how much we all love him and how much he means to us all. I agree with D0oin, the good outweighs the bad, I have loved every minute of being a dog owner (and a s a previous dog fearer I never thought I'd say that). We didn't crate our dog as a pup, and we did (and do) leave him unattended, hence the chewed bins. We had to turn door handles upside down so he couldn't access the kitchen but he learned the rules. Go into with realistic expectations and you'll be OK.

No only as much as you regret your children, ie only on a really, really bad day.

My current dog has just turned two, about six months ago he managed to eat a poo that my dd had done in the potty without me realizing. He then vomited it all over the living room floor as a river of brown.

At that moment, and in the clearing up that followed I could have gladly wrung his neck

Mostly you will be thrilled and delighted with her and like your children you will fall in love and mostly forgive her anything because she will be so funny, loving and amazing company .

you know what Gorran?, whatever happens with your new dog just remember, it's not terminal and it won't be 24/7, 365 days a year for the rest of your life. That's what I am telling myself in preparation for our venture into dog ownership later this year.

Ah, god love you - you're going to be a great dog owner!

we've had 3 puppies and a each one has shown us how little we've known about dogs!

Yet... each one makes you more aware of your (ever changing) boundaries!

They've all had their personalities. Adoreddog1 was an old man from birth. Quiet, retiring and aloof. We trained him and adapted accordingly. An old gentleman and respected thus.

Adoreddog2 was amazingly bouncy BUT on our terms. No upstairs. No sofa much & fed after the humans unless it was my dads midnight feast when she would look beseeching at his feet

Adoreddog3 is a freaking independent nightmare!! But we still swoon about her!

An over confident Top Dog who wants to love us to.death.

Regret her? Being so different to her predecessors? Every day and not in a gazzillion years!!

Would never be or have been without their muddy, wet, inconvenient selves.

ps. puppy training classes and a crate are KEY!

We have a 9 month old yellow lab also called Daisy :)

I definitely had moments of WTF have we done, especially as I had a 12 week old baby at the time. I felt shell shocked, unprepared and overwhelmed - and this was with lots of planning before hand.

We had no chewing issues really, used a crate until she was seven months old and provide plenty of kongs, soft toys etc. Housetraining was not too bad really, they do want to please you and are sooo clever.

Once she could go out for walks and stopped bouncing off the ceiling quite so much life got infinitely easier, and it just got better and better all the time :)

Now she is part of our family and I could not imagine our lives without her

Awww Choccy labs are adorable, very clever (but do a good impression of dumbdog when it suits them) and VERY greedy.

All (most labs) are greedy but in my limited experience there's an extra greedy gene in choccies!!

I second everything above but also would add they are good family dogs, need loads of exercise (which is great for the kids) but do need a firm hand & training with consistancy in the way everyone in the family treats them.

You'll have lots of fun!

Thank you all, I'm feeling more positive already:O We've been soooo looking forward to getting Daisy, we were gutted when she couldn't come to us yesterday (and again today!) - it's just when all you hear is doom and gloom it does colour your view a bit!

I'm most definitely back to being very excited, hope she can come home tomorrow.

There are so many positives to having a dog that I can't even begin to list them all. The love, companionship, comfort, all those really cute things that they do, the unconditional trust. Granted there will be moments when you could wring their necks but that's true of most people too. One of my dog's more memorable mishaps was chewing up my glasses! I forgave him a couple of days later. Like most things in life there will be those who tell you horror stories, but it sounds to me like you've got a lot of common problems like loneliness and boredom already covered. Just be patient.

If you're a responsible, sensible owner, (which you sound like you're going to be, OP), dogs are an absolute joy. Regardless of all the "things" that can go wrong. We have a 3 year old Border collie that we've had from a pup. He's bright, intelligent, biddable, does what he's told and loving. He's also nick-named "ASBO" for a reason!

Last night he stole the lasagne from the kitchen counter, he also steals the cat food if he thinks he can get away with it. In the past, he's chewed my best shoes, peed in the kitchen, chased the cats, kept jumping in the pond, escaped out of the garden and trashed the neighbours flower beds...

You'll be fine simply because you're going into this wearing rose tinted specs. As was said above puppy training and a crate are key. A crate = no unsupervised chewing, a safe place from over excited children, space to calm down when over excited, place to hid when scared, place to sleep, place to go when visitors who don't like dogs come (means you can relax) and loads more positive reasons. Never ever use the crate as a punishment. Have a family conference and agree upon which words to use when training and stick to them, when training consistency is key. It is perfectly possible to have a six month old puppy recalling (to a whistle like a 211 1/2 if you can) sitting, staying and walking to heel they go off the rails in the teenage months but keep going I have a fell terrier that did all of the above by 6 months and my labrador was a hell of a lot easier to train.

I'm that you've got this and many years ahead of you, revolting stuff aside you are going to have such fun.

notgoing into this wearing rose tinted specs

It's like having a baby in a way - you could say that that was a hard slog, lots of mess, no sleep, routines disrupted, changing your plans to fit in with them all the time. And it would be true, but missing the other side of the equation out, that a baby generates so much love and fun it more than makes up for it.

Same with your puppy - in the abstract it is easy to think only of the negatives, but the positives are enormous, the fun and love and companionship.

I have two labradors, and yes they did trash the house when younger (we moved shortly afterwards!) but we should have used a crate.