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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

How would one go about stealing and hiding a dog?

29 replies

D0oinMeCleanin · 25/03/2012 18:25

I need to steal my parents ex stray Lurcher. I luff him. I need him. I considered telling them that he had escaped while I was looking after him but then it dawned on me that they visit my house frequently so I need a way to hide him or disguise him somehow.

He is sandy coloured and the approximate size of a whippet.

Dd2 is in on it. She will help. She also luffs him.

OP posts:
oldqueenie · 25/03/2012 18:28

lure him away with you as you leave after visiting.. (dd can stage a distraction while you bundle him into the car) then, when you get him home disguise him as, say, a labradoodle (you could knit him a wooly labradoodle coat to wear). when they visit say "what? this old thing, a friend left him here". sorted.

SparkyMcSparrow · 25/03/2012 18:29

Black hairspray and some padding!

Or get him a woolly coat and put him in the garden and tell them you got a sheep.

Sorted....your welcome Grin

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 25/03/2012 18:29

I can't knit Sad. I can bake. I could disguise him as a large cake?

OP posts:
NotMostPeople · 25/03/2012 18:31

Run and being a Lurcher he will follow your folks being older than you will not be able to keep up. Employ dd if you flag.

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 25/03/2012 18:37

Dd2 once covered our white dog in black shoe polish. I still have no idea how she managed to get him over the stair gate or where she found the polish.

I could try that, but it made a terrible mess last time.

I think they should just give him to me. They have three sandy coloured Lurchers. I have none. I only have black and white dogs. And no Lurchers. It's just greed. They don't need three lurchers.

OP posts:
BehindLockNumberNine · 25/03/2012 18:40

Could you swap him for devil dog? As he is white-ish he would blend in with the three fawn lurchers?

Actually, how good is your parent's eyesight? You could swap ex-stray for devil dog and just say that he has shrunk in the wash? They will never cotton on....

Or, as a last resort, find another fawn lurcher and swap him/her for ex-stray....

ThunderboltKid · 25/03/2012 18:41

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at poster's request

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 25/03/2012 18:44

I offered to swap him for Devil Dog, but they said no. They're scared of him Confused

I don't understand why. He only tried them to eat them once Hmm. It's not like he did often. And it was their fault. They tried to train him.

They'll swap him for Whippy but dd1 said Whippy is not up for swaps.

I might just steal him and then move house. S'not fair. They were gonna give me the other one a few days ago, but I can't have this one.

OP posts:
BehindLockNumberNine · 25/03/2012 18:47

Haha at 'he only tried to eat them once...'!! Grin

minimuu · 25/03/2012 19:16

pretend you have a new table

nightswimmer · 25/03/2012 20:04

ha ha minimuu that's brilliant!

RedwingWinter · 25/03/2012 21:04

Get another dog, one that they will think is really cute, and then offer to swap that dog :) Just don't fall in luff with the new dog first or you'll have to get yet another new one in order to do a swap ...

Scuttlebutter · 25/03/2012 22:33

Turn your home into a Star Wars convention

Grin
Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 25/03/2012 22:36

Oh that might work Scuttle. Being a hound type he is not impartial to dressing up Grin

They are making them coats with 'The Three Amigos" embroided on them for next winter. T'is not fair. I want matching dogs.

I offered again to rescue him from them today. He wants to live with me and be my snuggly blanket, he told me so.

OP posts:
TuftyFinch · 25/03/2012 22:41

Put a cardigan and bonnet (yes it is 1950) on the dog. Put him in a pram (Silver Cross) and pretend it's your new baby. There used to be a woman where I grew up who dressed as a fairy and pushed her dog in a pram. It's certainly an aspiration.

oldqueenie · 25/03/2012 22:49

was walking dog a few weeks ago. stopped to cross at lights. woman pushing buggy with zipped mesh type cover over it... dog went ballistic. woman said, "oh it's my babies she's barking at". looked in buggy... there were 4 ferrets in there!!

Scuttlebutter · 25/03/2012 22:53

Apply a shawl and cardigan (tartan slippers optional). Tell people dog is your ancient great aunt Mildred, up from the country. She has a few whiskers and her teeth are not all they should be, and she's a woman of few words and rather direct table manners.

feesh · 26/03/2012 12:16

Teach him to play dead, and then fling him around your neck like one of those naff dead-fox things they used to wear in the 80s when fur was still acceptable.

StealthPolarBear · 26/03/2012 12:18

Am I missing something? What's wrong with the usual glasses/false moustache/silly teeth combo?

throckenholt · 26/03/2012 12:23

Maybe you could just ask them ?!

StealthPolarBear · 26/03/2012 12:24

or just take him and pretend he's your new dog and deny all knowledge. Oh I'm so sorry he's gone missing, no this is an entirely different dog, don't care that he kisses you or comes when you call...just coincidence

StealthPolarBear · 26/03/2012 12:24

or just take him and pretend he's your new dog and deny all knowledge. Oh I'm so sorry he's gone missing, no this is an entirely different dog, don't care that he kisses you or comes when you call...just coincidence

BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger · 26/03/2012 18:18

Ahem Wink

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 26/03/2012 18:47

Oh no. Now I luffs Amber too Sad

Dh would murder me.

You are norty Bitter.

OP posts:
BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger · 26/03/2012 18:50

I only have one measly dog.

Where's my another dog Sad