Whats the worst thing your dog has done on a walk?

[thewizenedone]

Ours thinks its great to go up and introduce herself to other dogs who arent interested and takes their snarls and hackles up as a welcome sign We have only had her a month but she legs it in search of anything more interesting than us, which must be most things given the frequency . Please tell me tales of your dogs to make me feel a bit less inadequate TIA

Ratbag - so that's what they mean by 'dogging'!

Took one of our greyhounds along to a local charity dog show last summer,held in a local park. Idyllic surroundings, lovely summer afternoon. Dog behaving perfectly, the very model of a rehomed greyhound. All good.

Around the ring, were some metal fences, low level, ideal for leaning on. A lady was quietly sitting, minding her own business, leaning against one of these to watch proceedings. Dog decided to saunter over and wee over the back of the fence post, unfortunately drenching her beautiful white blouse in the process. I was utterly, utterly mortified.

Run off into the reeds at the deserted river and barked frantically.
I followed him to find him wagging his tail and watching a shagging middle-aged couple.

We were walking across a crowded beach when I noticed he was carrying a sandal - I walked up and down for ages and couldn't find the owner - in the end I left it at the entrance to the carpark

Rolled in all sorts of horrid things

Stole a rabbit off a surprised bird of prey who was eating it in a field - the dogs devoured it all while I shouted at them

Not on a walk, but we had a builder who also had a dog. One day the builder left and about half an hour returned. SmallDog had hidden under his back seat - he only realised when his dog leapt into the back and became really excited.

My old dog who was usually walked on a canal towpath regularly peed on the fisherman, stole their maggots or ran off with their keepnets. Also liked to find and eat VERY rotten animals or human poo if he could find it

Goodness. At this moment I can't think of anything really bad my dog has done (well, apart from the obvious like eating sheepshit and well-matured roadkill)

First of all I feel compelled to point out that this happened while DH was taking the dogs out. He had them off the lead because it was open fields and Big Dog spotted a cyclist cycling down the path. Anyway, Big Dog sets off after cyclist and decided that he didn't do recall. Cyclist starts weaving about precariously and Big Dog catches up, knocks him off and buckles one of his cycle wheels. DH came home furious with said dog because the walk had cost him 25 quid to replace the wheel.

Little dog decided one morning while I was half asleep and cursing into the distance about it being cold and dark, to mistake me for a lamp post. I ended up covered in wee from knee to foot before I realised that my leg felt very warm and ahem, wet.

In our local park there's a steep, grassy bank that kids like to roll down sometimes. BearDog and I were sitting at the top of the slope one summer's afternoon when a couple of kids came running up from behind us, and the smaller one hurled himself down with an absolutely awful-sounding blood-curdling scream. BearDog leaps up thinking 'oh no, child in distress' (he loves little ones and is very gentle and protective, concerned when they cry etc) and before I can grab him he rushes towards kid trying to break his 'fall'. I shout 'leave' and he does stop, but it's too late - child is scared of dogs and bursts into tears, screams even more.

Child's parents and general public just see a large Rottweiler lunging at a screaming child, start panicking and yelling at us . I haul BearDog away trying frantically to explain/apologise that he's not a vicious killer, he hasn't hurt the kid, he was just trying to help, honestly he was. Don't think anyone was convinced. Absolutely mortified.

Not his greatest 'breed ambassador' moment...

Our Border terrier, only just grown out of the puppy stage, disappeared into a rabbit hole on a woodland walk. My dad spent several HOURS digging her out- during which she was doing the whole 'save me save me' act. He finally rammed his arm in deep enough to reach her, with the worlds largest mound of dug-out mud behind him- grabbed her, only to be promptly bitten on the hand. She then went further into the hole and presumably killed a million rabbits and had the time of her life before sheepishly emerging with one later on

ratbag you have me crying with laughter.

My little terrier rolled in the smelliest fox poo when we were on a walk quite far from home - which meant I had to walk him the 2 miles home on lead while DH drove home and prepared bath/towels.
Also cocked leg on a foreign students trainers whilst she was relaxing on grass
and she gave me an earful but I'm so glad it was in a language I couldn't understand.
So glad to hear other MN's dogs get up to naughty things as well

Rolled on dead rotting fish
Rolled on dead bird
Rolled on dead mouse

I could carry on along that theme.

Also squeezed under a tiny gap in a fence and chased a herd of cows round a field. Look at my profile to see how utterly ridiculous he must have looked doing that..

Had a pop at a rottweiler. See profile pic again for how stupid that was. Luckily rottweiler was exceptionally well-behaved and ignored him completely.

Trod on icy pond and went through. Luckily on v short lead so hauled him out.

Our daily walk takes in a church on a quiet country lane. I have learnt to look out for more cars than usual after an embarrassing incident with a grieving family round a grave....I did however manage to get the dog back before she jumped up the bride's dress on another occasion

Old (and now dead) dog once spotted a hare, .....oddly they sometime bask on the rocky shore in the mornings to catch the sun

So he spotted it and gave chase, both ran towards me, instead of running past and on up the cliff and away, the hare spotted me changed direction completely and ran back to the rocks. Ludo had form for killing rabbits/rats so I am giving it large with the "Here, coooo-eee, getbackhereyoubastarddogidiottripehound Ludo, COme here!!!" Only to see my neighbour, the local fisherman pootling about just off shore in the small boat, in the still, quiet, windless, quiet apart from the cursing, sunny, quiet morning.

Anyway, dog caught and killed the bloody thing, and dh was complimented on having a wife who knew quite a lot of interesting swearwords

Very early one morning two female deer ran out from bracken - game on as you can imagine !

Dog 1: Pissed up bikers back who was sitting on sea wall (he was wearing leather jacket, my dad just pulled the dog away )

Dog 2: Rotweiller had a habit of going to sit with people on the beach, in the park. One day went and parked himself between a couple who were well oiled up in secluded part of beach and would NOT come away, even when i tried to drag him.

Dog 3: Rescued Rotweiller who we were walking in the woods after dark so we could let him off lead, chased a cyclist who came from nowhere, growling and snarling etc etc, the cyclist was off like a bat out of hell - had he stopped im sure the dog wouldnt have done anything, but well, would you stop?

Dog 4: Current dog JRT bounded over to beach party picnic, jumped on table and proceeded to help himself

Can someone please remind me why we have dogs?

She once tackled a jogger in the snow. he tried to get out of her way but that just made it a game and the guy ended up falling really badly, I've never felt so bad as he obviously REALLY hurt himself. Luckily he was nice about it.

DH had a mad boxer when he was a teenager which once chased a horse which was tied up round in circles and ended up getting kicked in the face, but just got up, shook himself and carried on. He had no recall, bless him, and ended up never getting off lead because of it.

Mine has chased motorbikes and cars when younger causing everyone to slam their brakes on...

Ran over to an old man and started to hump him.

Took an Ice cream off a baby in a pushchair. (very gently and tbf she was waving it about in his face)

Ate a rabbit after spending a good ten minutes running round with it in its mouth whilst poor rabbit squealing.

He once cleared a garden wall for the remainder of someone's BBQ burning his nose in the process.

Everytime someone said to him "You are a lovely boy" when he was a puppy he would flinch and then limp when walking away. (still does this when in trouble)

Used to urinate up anyone who stood still long enough.

fortunately getting him "done" sorted out 90% of these problems!!!!

We were on a beach on the Isla of Man and when we came to leave my dog wouldn't come back.
She was sitting on a rocky outcrop a few feet up and was stuck. We were a mile trek down from the road!

We had to leave stoopid hound there for about 2 hours to call the coastguard. Then cliff rescue came with ropes (she wasn't a small dog!) and flourescent jackets to rescue stoopid hound. She was still in exactly the same spot but very pleased to see the friendly men!

Howling with laughter at dooins poor lollipop lady. Bet that wasn't in her job description...

The lollipop lady didn't find it funny. She didn't speak to me for the rest of the year except to make disparaging remarks about my parenting

She forgave me when we got whippy and got chatting about dogs and she learnt that devil dog had came from the pound and had been dumped. She's still not fond of him, mind you. Can't think why

Thank god its not just me or my dogs! I am indeed investing in a long lunge/trainer lead. We have only had her a month, in all other respects she is brilliant, clean, doesnt cry, no damage in the house in fact like shes lived here all her life, but she just loves other dogs, on the lead a pain, barks and strains to get to them, but we are working on this and she is slowly improving, make her sit and hold treat whilst telling her quiet etc. But she seems to have decided in the last day or so, to run into fields ahead of us, or if she sees another dog just is desperate to play. Usually we have had to pretend to walk off and she panics and comes back [hmmm]

I have tried clicker training and high value foods such as cheese, sausage, chicken, liver but nothing seems to make a real difference. When we first had her she would usually come back for her squeaky ball, she is obsessed with balls. Any advice would be most appreciated. Also where does one get liver cake which I see mentioned on here quite often?

knocked a fag out of someones hand at the school gate.

i think he is the anti-smoking dog

misdee - that is great !