Any advice on buying a family dog to help my anxious child?

[ToffeeWhirl]

My DS1 (12) has OCD and other anxiety issues and is off school at the moment. He has asked for a dog many times in the past, but it was impossible for us before, as we could not be sure that we could be in the house enough to look after it and didn't think it fair to leave the dog alone for too long. However, we are now in a position where there is always someone around in the house, so that is no longer a problem.

DS would be over the moon if we bought a dog. He loves playing with his friends' dogs. Our hope is that, as well as bringing something to the whole family, it would help to distract DS from his anxieties and encourage him to get out (he is virtually housebound at present).

Do any of you have any thoughts on this or advice on what sort of dog to look for? We thought of getting a rescue dog rather than a puppy, but have no idea what breed. It would have to be smallish, as we live in a terraced house with a small paved garden. However, we have access to long walks on the South Downs only a short distance away, so no problem with walking the dog.

We haven't mentioned this to either of our children yet, by the way, as we want to do our research first before committing ourselves. We realise that a dog is a big responsibility.

hi, i would recommend a whippet, pug or rottweiler. i have suffered from ocd. thankgod i dont anymore because it is a horrible thing to go through. you want a dog that is trainable and quite clean with medium to low energy as a breed because you dont want to set off your sons ocd. believe it or not my rottweilers helped me get through the ocd! i refused to get proffesional help and lets face it when you get a dog you have quite abit of shit to deal with! theres no time to panick or beat around the bush. whippets as a breed are clean dog, they do love a good walk or run but usually are couch potatoes in the house. they are loving and very gentle. pugs though may take longer to train (as do many small breeds) are too quite clean, and very very loving. rottweilers are very trainable and very intelligent. they do need a firm hand as can be very dominant but are lower energy compared to i.e german shepherd or labrador. they too are very loving and protective and love playing games.

dont know why my first comment didnt come up? but my first suggestion would be an akita. youd have to do your research to make sure youd have the time and patience for one. maybe look into rescuing an older pup? so you wouldnt have to deal with so much weeing pooing etc as you would a brand new pup. look into all the breeds ive said (because honestly good breeds) but try akita first! they do take alot of training and socialiing but if your willing then youll get a brilliant end result! x

German Shepherd, the most loyal loving dog there is IMO and I have lived with a few. Easy to train, very trustworthy with kids in the family and provided they are properly socialised a joy with other dogs. My GSD is almost 4 and I have 5 kids one being a boy with ASD and she is very tolerant of him and very protective :) x

Be really careful with a thread like this as you are going to gets loads of anecdotal evidence of which dog to get and many (Akita!) would be totally unsuitable.

If you are going for a rescue then speak to as many rescue organisations are you can. Visit the dogs let the rescue organisation get to know you and your DC's. Rescue are great as you can "try before you buy". eg you can see the dogs, take them for walks get to know them and find out if their personality will fit your family.

I expect the one you get will not be the one you planned to get but the one that chooses you and your family

Ditto what minimuu says about speaking to as many reputable rescue organisations as you can but, to answer the other part of your question, I wouldn't hesitate to say GSD or staffie as the type of dog to be looking for. Done right they will be a boy's best friend. :)

An Akita???!!!

Anecdote alert - we have a Golden Retriever and he is fantastic around our young children. Possibly a bit on the large side for you though.

lala you must be fucking lala to suggest an Akita!

toffee You may be eligible for an assistance dog, or consider a 'rejected assistance dog'.

I have 2 GSDs and they adore my children, but we have worked very hard as a family with training, and socialising. It doesnt just happen overnight. As a loving family dog, they are brilliant BUT it has to be the right dog and as a first dog I wouldnt recommend them.

A rescue dog, that is a bit older, has been living with a family would be great for your son. A staffie - perfect, they are known as the nanny dog for good reason. Very loving, soft to touch, not too big and easy to walk - but strong.

And all that minimuu said.

Another vote for talking things through with a rescue, and really stressing how important it is that the dog is suitable for your DS.

As for the most suitable type of dog, that really does depend on the individual dog rather than the breed. There are breed traits, but every dog is different. One of my dogs (a collie/husky cross) is as soft as butter, totally bomb proof and really lovely with small kids. Not what you'd expect from his breed. If a dog is out in a foster placement you will be able to get an honest and accurate assessment from the foster carer. Also do things like take the dog for a walk somewhere there are other dogs to check he is not dog aggressive, and beside a busy road to see he doesn't jump at/chase cars. Both issues would be difficult for a child to manage.

The dog I had as a child was my best friend and constant companion. I really do think a canine friend would help your son enormously.

oh topknob we love our sheps dont we?

My friends son has autism and is deaf and various other bits n bobs. My GSD love him, especially my young girlie - she rounds him up, makes sure he is ok (he walks much slower than the rest of us sometimes) at the back of the group and when he lies down on the ground she licks him until he gets up and joins us again.

An AKITA??!!

Agree that you are likely to come home with the unexpected - having done so twice!

I would definitely try and find a dog that has been in foster care, so that you have good first hand information about how he/she copes with kids etc. We are thrilled with ours, and he has helped my then 4 year old dd over her fear of dogs - which was pretty bad.

Happy hunting!

A good rescue will be able to help assess you and your needs. Dogs Trust are usually excellent and very thorough. Ex racing greyhounds are very gentle dogs, and don't need huge amounts of exercise. I have seen them placed very successfully with children who have SN, autism and other disabilities. Your son might also enjoy looking up an ex racer's racing history, and studying their pedigree (available on line for all racers, and very detailed). Greys are also very healthy dogs and will often live well into their mid teens, and come off the track at between eighteen months and three years so you will get all the benefits of an adult dog, but still can enjoy a long time with them. Take a look at the Pointy Hounds thread for a better idea of what they are like.

Am at the idea of an Akita!!

. An Akita? Bloody barking idea.

What's with all the Akita shock? I mean it's not the first breed I'd have thought to reccomend, but I don't see how they're any more unsuitable than some of the other breeds mentioned...

I'd suggest a rescue as well, firstly because the puppy stage is very stressful and also because there's no guesswork about what sort of temperament a dog has

If you are feeling brave and have a spare half hour please read my STRESSED RESCUE DOG thread....
We have just had a terrible experience (made worse by a less than sympathetic MNer), but there is lots of cautionary info in there.

If you are rescuing, I would not settle on any particular breed - have a range in mind. You need to know their full history and temperament and their assessment needs to be thorough. Bear in mind they behave very differently in kennels - ideally you want one fostered in a family environment.

Best of luck - I'm happy to chat by PM if you want.

:-)

Oh and AVOID pound dogs - just too risky!

Go for a 'family / financial circumstances have changed'
If its an 'elderly owner has died' they might be attached to one person and the family dynamic could be a challenge.

Thank you so much everyone for all your advice (and keep it coming!). I am reading and making mental notes (rescue dog sounds a good idea), but don't have time to post much now because I'm meant to be teaching DS. I have to keep hiding these posts when he walks past, because he would be beside himself with excitement if he knew what DH and I are planning.

BBL.

I was thinking about this for you last night.

I'd avoid any dog with a strong guarding instinct in your case(eg attack a opposed to watchdog where they just bark a lot). My thinking is that if your child is very anxious and the dog ha a strong bond with him, the LAST thing you want is a dog that might try and protect him from that anxiety in an aggressive way. So doberman's, Jack Russell's and the like (Akita's!) would not be the best choice. This is much more about a dog's individual temperment than specific breed though and is another reason I'd go for a dog that had spent time in a family foster environment.

I'd also avoid any dog that has "ishoos" with other dogs as you want your child to get to a point where he feels confident walking the dog alone. A dog is a long term choice so think forward a few years to when your child is 16/17/18. My cheeky neighbour used to borrow our dog to help him break the ice with the woman he'd adored from afar when they first started courting .

You need a nice "calmer downer" type that's fairly sociable. Everything scuttlebutter said re greyhound temperment applies to my whippet, she's just a better sized package for our small flat. The English spaniels around my neck of the woods are all delightful. Dogs can fail assistance or guide dog training through not being confident enough to negotiate the London Underground alone or other reasons that just won't be important to you, but still have wonderful temperments.

I know my advice on this board and over on special needs sounds like an elimination list & I suppose it is really. You only need ONE dog that suits you and your family to a tee and there are hundreds out there. The best rescues don't mind being given a fairly detailed "requirements" list I found, as they are a keen as you are that the animal they place with you is a perfect fit. (In fact I'd go as far as to say run, don't walk from any that object to lots of questions from your side!).

The ladies who helped us source our dog appreciated that I'd taken the time to think through what we really wanted, and were really helpful with advice for the settling in period. I knew EXACTLY what I was taking on. I suspect they only get irritated if you get too fussy re looks (my breed comes in all colourways).

Do get a few quotes on vet insurance for a few breeds - it's shocking how much it can vary between breeds and can be an important factor in making your choice if you have a limited budget. The variation for the same level of cover for 2 different breeds can be over £60 a month! Noone ever seems to talk about ongoing costs, of ownership, but as a lone parent it was important to me when taking on a 10-15 year commitment

IMHO I'd get a staffi. And I am actively looking in getting one myself this week

Great post boc!

My research this week has come up with a number of options, but I'm going to try to find a Westie-Poo ! Worth it for the name alone I think.

We don't just have the family dynamic to consider - allergies too. Are you ok allergy wise? Worth checking if you aren't sure...

NOT an Akita! Or a Rottweiler! And that's not breed prejudice at all, just common sense when considering the OP's requirements. She stated small for a start and given that it's for a child with anxiety issues, then large, powerful breeds are definitely on the unsuitable list, IMO.

OP, I would consider the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Pug, Papillon or Tibetan Spaniel. Basically, any of the smaller breeds that have been bred to be companion animals first and foremost. There are health issues with both the CKCS and Pug but finding a good breeder will minimise the risks. I personally would lean towards the Papillon or Tibetan Spaniel...fantastic little breeds, friendly, easy going and can take a good deal of exercise but will also be happy curled up on a lap and with fewer health concerns. Papillons in particular are extremely trainable and have many of the attributes of a much larger breed but in a dinky package.

An Akita for a first time owner!?!

That's bonkers. Sorry. They are truely brilliant dogs. Very loyal to their family unit and excellent towards children within their family unit. They are highly intelligent, independant thinkers and need a firm, experienced hand to deal with them efficently. Give a rescue mutt a command and the promise of a treat and he will think om nom nom. Do the same for an Akita and the Akita will weigh up his options and decide whether a treat is really worth what you are asking him to do They also have a strong protevctive instinct and do not always welcome strangers warmly.

Somone suggested an Akita for me instead of the terrier we ended up with. I told them they were a nutter and I have been involved with the raising, training, walking of an Akita for several years when we had ours. I was not ready for my very own Akita.

I would advise a Greyhound rescue or older, calmer staffie. With the Grey being the first choice. They are very laid back, calm in the house very good with people large and small. Their only downfall is their insatiable greed and the fact that standing upright they are not far off 6ft so they can reach everywhere in your kitchen. We now keep our butter dish inside the microwave. This is our third butter dish. RIP butter dishes 1 and 2

Breeds listed above are all great, but very hard to come by from rescues.

Sorry to be negative, but we searched for four months for a SMALL rescue dog and very few came up. Those that did were snapped up really quickly.

I would recommend looking for one via Yorkshire Terrier and Small Bread Rescue - they don't just have Yorkies. Their approach is very thorough - they do matchmaking and only foster, so loads of background info.

I would suggest to stay away from terriers generally.

Lab-crosses are generally good, and some can be quite smallish

Yes - actually staffy terriers are great family pets if you don't mind the image they can sometimes have. Ours has recently died and was extremely tolerant of small children and other dogs. :)

I think with any dog the key is in the early socialisation.