Any advice on buying a family dog to help my anxious child?

[ToffeeWhirl]

My DS1 (12) has OCD and other anxiety issues and is off school at the moment. He has asked for a dog many times in the past, but it was impossible for us before, as we could not be sure that we could be in the house enough to look after it and didn't think it fair to leave the dog alone for too long. However, we are now in a position where there is always someone around in the house, so that is no longer a problem.

DS would be over the moon if we bought a dog. He loves playing with his friends' dogs. Our hope is that, as well as bringing something to the whole family, it would help to distract DS from his anxieties and encourage him to get out (he is virtually housebound at present).

Do any of you have any thoughts on this or advice on what sort of dog to look for? We thought of getting a rescue dog rather than a puppy, but have no idea what breed. It would have to be smallish, as we live in a terraced house with a small paved garden. However, we have access to long walks on the South Downs only a short distance away, so no problem with walking the dog.

We haven't mentioned this to either of our children yet, by the way, as we want to do our research first before committing ourselves. We realise that a dog is a big responsibility.

My last post was referring to the list of small breeds only, not the in between posting...

If you do go for a Staffie you won't be dissapointed but I would advise you avoid any younger than 18 months. They are utter uttter nutters as puppies and while this is great fun for a more experienced owner with older/no children for a first time owner it can all become too much and this is why so many of them end up in rescues

Don't get me wrong, I don't think an Akita is what the OP wants either, but a Rottweiler or a GSD are just as unsuitable from what would suit her and no-one put up wee shocked faces or exclamation marks at those suggestions.

You've got a first time dog owner looking for a preferably small, calm and I'd say medium intelligence dog (as in you don't want something so stupid that it can't be trained, but equally you don't want one that has to be kept constantly active)

I didn't see the GSD recommendation but I did say a Rottie would not be suitable either. Complete with exclamation mark

Well our dog is absolutely lovely. A really sweetie who loves people and has never even hinted at a growl let alone a bite. He would be damn near perfect for an anxious person. Unconditional love and worship on tap! And he faces life with a sort of eternal enthusiasm. However you can't have him and as he's a mongrel he's one of a kind Don't get hung up on breed - pedgree dogs aren't the only kind and rescues might well be full of crosses anyway. Our dog is lab x collie x staffie.

I think that would depend on the GSD. An assistance dog if the OP is elligible would be good. Or failed assistance GSD would also suit. They are generally much more biddable and obedient than Akitas. Saying that your normal, run of the mill GSD puppy would be unsuitable but I wouldn't run a mile if a good and reputable rescue suggested an older, trained GSD.

I know nothing about Rotties and their general temprement.

I think you're always better going to a rescue and finding a dog that suits no matter what the breed - it's a much more reliable way of getting a dog that you know will fit in than getting a puppy that may or may not display the breed traits you're after if you survive the puppy stage, lol

I was just a bit surprised at the vehemence against Akitas compared to other breeds mentioned, Rotties are lovely - but again, strong and clever, quite often used as service dogs and prone to herding and guarding...a bit like GSDs really, though usually more goofy.

tabula I think if you re read my posts you will find I was replying to topknob and I said quite clearly - I would NOT recommend a GSD as a first dog, or anyone not experienced in the breed.

OP- will you come back and tell us how it went? I really hope your new dog brings you all joy (as I suspect it will) and you will not regret giving one a home. :)

I know JaxTellerIsMyFriend, I was just a bit taken aback that like 6 people seemed horrified at an Akita in a way they weren't about other breeds was all...

It probably wasn't even worth mentioning anyway, I just felt sorry for Akitas, lol

Retired or rejected guide dog might be good? Likely to be bombproof and calm, and although they are usually larger breeds (Retrievers, etc) will be calm around the house?

My aunt used to adopt them and they were lovely and beautifully trained.

I would agree about keeping an open mind on breed, somewhere like the Dogs Trust would do a good job of matching you to a suitable dog for your family.

Personally I don't think a small house is necessarily a problem for having a big dog - it can depend more on their energy levels and whether they're happy to lounge around a lot indoors or want to be running about and playing all the time! Some large breeds are quite laid-back, especially as they get older.

Though I say this as someone with two big male Rotties in a small terraced house...so I guess I've got used to having a good proportion of floor space taken up with dog, that might not be acceptable to everyone!

Akitas are wonderful, wonderful dogs and gorgeous to boot. But they are full on and not for your average family pet owner. A GSD, while not ideal for a first time owner or inexperienced owner are not as full on as an Akita or a Rottie I would imagine.

"They are truely brilliant dogs. Very loyal to their family unit and excellent towards children within their family unit. They are highly intelligent, independant thinkers and need a firm, experienced hand to deal with them efficently. Give a rescue mutt a command and the promise of a treat and he will think om nom nom. Do the same for an Akita and the Akita will weigh up his options and decide whether a treat is really worth what you are asking him to do grin They also have a strong protevctive instinct and do not always welcome strangers warmly."

This sounds a lot like the typical Rottie temperament as well - my younger boy is a good example. Fortunately he loves his food so usually decides it is worth complying for the treat! You can almost see him weighing up his options in his head though. They can have very good obedience, because they're smart and quick to learn, but they have to be motivated and want to work with you, you do get people trying to force/dominate/punish them into obedience which can have very bad consequences.

My older one is softer and more biddable admittedly, so it does depend on the individual, though he has a history of neglect/abuse and I think he's just grateful for whatever food and attention he can get :(

They're also fantastic dogs, but again do best with a sensible, experienced owner, especially for pups/adolescents, probably not one for the first-time owner. Too many end up in rescue at 6-18 months just because they haven't been given the training/socialisation/boundaries they need and have become a problem. I'd guess it's the same for other breeds, but particularly the large guarding types.

I am actually a huge fan of Akitas (having done a huge amount if research into both types with a view to owning one. And I adore Rotties (I have a Rottie X currently) so my vehemence is nothing to Fi with breed prejudice. Rather, speaking as someone with a bit of knowledge and experience of such breeds and can see that, as a general rule, they would not suit the OP's

Given that the child in question suffers from anxiety issues, I would avoid any breeds that is known to be dominant/reactive towards other dogs in case such behaviour would exacerbate anxiety in the child. . Therefore - while i hate to stereotype entire breeds -I would personally avoid Rotties, Akitas and, to a large extent, Staffies (and a number of other breeds not mentioned on this thread) in the OP's circumstances. Just my opinion.

Fi?? Bloody iPhone...Do!

If you want a small dog that will also like long walks, is playful, patient, affectionate, loyal and easy to train I'd go for a cavalier king charles spaniel.

I have a six month old Staffy and she has been great. But they are strong dogs and mine at least can get quite excitable. She is so thrilled to see my daughter in the morning and can get quite, er, physical in her affections.

But she seems completely ok with some fairly 'enthusiastic' handling and seems to genuinely love children. I think it is certainly a breed worth looking at.

My daughter is completely in love and I think getting her was one of the best decisions I ever made. They can run about in the park together and then cuddle up on the sofa.

Hearing dogs have 'reject' assistance dogs available from time to time, although they do have a waiting list. They have different breeds (including crosses), mostly of a small-ish size and all of a fairly sociable and trainable nature.

As a cocker spaniel owner I'd recommend a cocker, obviously, but not if you want a clean house, or car, or anything really

Loads of good advice here! Thank you all for thinking of me.

I'm afraid I am already showing strong signs of 'breed prejudice'. Is that frowned on in the doghouse ? I love terriers (remind me of Eddie in 'Frasier') and spaniels (LaCoccinelle - I love cocker spaniels ). Afraid I am not particularly drawn to Yorkshire terriers, pugs or rottweilers. I like a lot of the larger dogs, but we couldn't have one in our little house. I am very happy to have a cross breed. In the end, I can see that my personal prejudices will have only a very small part to play in our final choice, as the dog's personality, not to mention the feelings of my children, will play a larger part.

I have just been browsing the rescue dogs on the Sussex rescue centre pages and have fallen in love with several already. I can see this is going to be a difficult experience, as we can only have one dog and there are so many to choose from. Also, it is not my choice alone, but a family choice (guided by the advice of the staff at the rescue centre, of course). The puppies are unbelievably cute, but I know a puppy would be really hard work to train. Not to mention the weeing and pooing in the house . I have just got used to having wee-free carpets and sofas as I am out of the toddler years and I don't think I can face going back to that.

Bochead - thank you for so much thoughtful advice. I love the fact that your neighbour borrowed your dog for 'courting' reasons .

OoohMrCoyne - er, I have tested positive for dog allergy, unfortunately. That is one of the reasons I haven't had a dog before now. I am hoping that antihistimines and my inhalers will do the trick. Also, the bedroom will be a dog-free space. I coped all right when I had a family dog as a child, so I don't think my allergy is too bad. Sorry to hear that small dogs might not be available from rescue centres. Couldn't cope with a Yorkie, sorry.

Jax we wouldn't be eligible for an assistance dog, I'm sure. I agree that a rescue dog with family experience would be ideal.

Orm - does he have any brothers or sisters ?

AnEcumenical - good advice, duly noted!

GinPalace - yes I will come back and tell you what happens. I'm afraid this is only in the planning stages so far. We are going on holiday at the beginning of June, so it would need to be after that.

Flowerface - sounds like a good idea, apart from the size of them .

Ephiny - not doing too good a job at keeping an open mind on breed, but you are right - that is probably not the main thing in the end.

A friend of mine has a terrier, so I'm going to talk to her about where she bought him, how much work he is, etc. Also, DH and I could go and visit some rescue places and chat with the staff there.

Thanks again for all the good advice. I know where to come if I need to find out more (and I will).

toffee Every single one of us has a preferred breed or size or colour of dog. I prefer larger dogs, but do love my parents yorkie, he is a beautiful little thing and always alerts my Mum when my Dad has fallen during the night. Bless him, but I sometimes trip over him or just dont 'see' him.
When I was looking after my friends dogs I struggled with her Dachshund. He was forever under my feet and I was worried I would hurt him when I fell over him. The 3 other German Shepherds were fine.

Hi toffee I have a 4 year old son and last year got a lurcher I got her at 8 weeks from a accidental litter that was heading to rescue. She is gorgeous soft as butter and dozey to boot lol and she and my son are inseparable literally she sleeps guarding his bedroom door I would recommend a similar breed she gets a lot of exercise but doesn't necessarily need as much as she gets we just have a very large garden. The breed in general is very gentle and affectionate mine can never have enough fuss or cuddles. The same with whippets etc any of this type of breed. Mine also has a very strong protect instinct which has helped my son feel very secure for example he is better having people visit as he knows no one gets past our dog without my telling her to let them/that it's ok. I would try to be as open minded as possible and be very thorough with your rescue research a woman on here has had a terrible time through no fault of her own. Best of luck dogs are wonderful I can't imagine why I didn't get one sooner

Hi Jax. Thanks - I thought I might have committed a faux pas in the doggie world. My aunt has a Yorkie and I always fall over it, which makes me feel guilty and then cross! My uncle has Dachshunds and I find them incredibly irritating . However - rather like with other people's children - I would never let them know how irritating I find their dogs because I know they love them.

I have to say that the Yorkie is a brave little thing though. We once saw him chasing a fox back and forth across the garden. The fox was three times his size, but it was desperate to get away from the small and frenzied bundle of fur.

Mama - ooh, I have just looked up images of lurchers and I think that is the type of dog I looked at wistfully at the school gates this morning. I know his owner, so should have a word with her about him. It's very encouraging to know that having a dog has been such a good experience for you.

OohMrCoyne - I read your thread last night. You poor thing. You did the only thing you could in the circumstances. I really hope you find the right dog for your family next time.

Plenty of rescue cockers here Toffee. And more cocker spaniel advice than you could possibly ever need.

Thanks, LaCoccinelle .