Probably posted a thousand times before, but - tell me the truth about owning a dog

[Gorran]

We've thought long and hard for a good few years about getting a dog. We are a family of four - me, sahm, husband, works ridiculous hours, daughters aged 7 and 4 living in the 'burbs of London with lots of lovely parks around.

Looking at a small breed, we're not fussy, and quite keen to get a young rescue dog/puppy if possible and is not a stupid idea?

We like to go away 4-5 times a year. 2 proper holidays and then a few weekends/midweek breaks in school hols. Have family who would look after the dog, or we can afford to kennel - but would rather not. For at least 2 breaks/holidays we could take dog but obviously for a foreign hol we could not.

So - tell me, would you get a dog in my situation? We all want one, are fairly well informed (I think) and not going into it blindly, as I said above, we've thought long and hard about it and are now actually looking at rescues, thinking about breeds etc.

Does anyone regret their dog? Why?

Thank you so much for any advice you can give.

It's the forward planning that is the biggest change - no spontinaety (sp?) with dogs in the house - you have to break your day up in 3-4 hour chunks (or however long you know that dog will be happy at home alone). We holiday as much as you do if not more and it is vital to find a great kennels you are happy with and have them on speed dial! This obviously adds to the overall costs. Do not skimp on insurance - we had a very ill dog and the bill would have been £2.5k without cover. He died anyway and the raw emotion that caused in the human members of the family proved to us that even with all the down sides others have mentioned they really do become valued members of the family and I will NEVER have a dogless household again!

We have 3 dogs so our house is even more untidy than ever. We pay about £500/year for basics per dog - food, vet, insurance. I shudder to think how much else in shredded shoes, fridge raids, destroyed bins etc, and of course, hoover bags.
Some dogs may develop or come with behavioural issues you had never anticipated in a blue fit, which may drive you to distraction. This can cost time and £££££. You also need a lot of time, a few quid and a massive commitment to train your hound and this can be a real minefield. If other things in your life take over, what would you do with the dog? It is also worth bearing in mind that dogs don't live as long as humans, so you almost have to consider what you think your life will be like in 15 or so years.

On the other hand, dogs are fabulous company, and it is a wonderful feeling to work with a dog. That we are able to share our lives with another species is just fantastic. It is not a decision to be taken lightly though!

Life with a dog is different to life without. I think it's an improvement (massively) but I won't pretend - there are things I miss. DH and I don't have DC so before dogs we used to do all those things childless couples allegedly do We travelled, had weekends away at smart hotels, ate in whizzy restaurants, had hols abroad, had an elegant home which was clean, fragrant and lovely. No tripe under the pillow, paw marks on the duvet. We had a small, new, clean zippy little car that was spotless inside.

Now our holidays are based around the dogs - usually a week in Pembrokeshire. We have an estate car which is smelly, hairy and muddy. Most of all is that sense of not being able to just bugger off for the day. I love going up to London to see friends or see an exhibition - but can't do this as often as I would like to since it's a drag to sort out dog care. My work options have been curtailed - DH works away a lot during the week so I need to be here most of the time. I've managed to find workarounds that actually suit very well, but it was a damn sight more fiddly. Three dogs (all large, two elderly) costs. Insurance, feed, hydrotherapy, vets bills. More house cleaning, replacing rugs, all the collar porn. I know that not all our friends and family share our obsession - dogs are not welcome when we visit certain relatives which is fine, but it does limit the time we spend there.

I am convinced of the benefits - life with dogs is immeasurably better than life without, but it does come with its downsides and it's wrong to deny these exist.

Because it's considered terribly unBritish to ever talk about money I think it is the elephant in the room when discussing dogs. Dogs are not cheap. You SHOULD be able to access a credit card or a decent pot of savings in case of emergency and these do happen even to happy, healthy dogs. Other costs should be considered too. And not just now, but when your dog is old. Insurance costs rise as they get older, more frequent vets bills, more treatments like hydrotherapy, often not covered by insurance. Kennels cost money - in peak season like August, it will often cost as much for woof's stay as it would to take an extra child away with you to the sun.

It's relatively easy when you've got a bouncy young dog who loves playing with the kids - life is one long Kodak moment. Now FF 10 years, the kids are teenagers and have left home, and you have an elderly dog that is back and forth the vet, eats money on medication and treatment and can't do all the fun things they used to, is possibly dribbly incontinent or senile - do you really stilll want one? Are you prepared to keep going when this is your dog? Will you be ready to make the last, hardest judgement call of all? This is part of the deal with owning a dog - you have to be prepared, with your vet of course, to take that last step for them.

Personally, I think there is a special place in Hell for people who dump older dogs but sadly it is very common.

Lastly, when they die, unless you are made of stone, you will be utterly bereft and feel like you have lost a combination of your best friend and a family member. And because their lifespan is shorter than ours, you are almost certainly going to have to face this grief and loss.

Sorry, bit of an essay, but I hope it will be something to think about. If you do decide to go ahead, your life will be richer and happier in ways you never imagined.

I have never got up at 6am to let my dogs out. Very occasionally they have been suprised with an early breakfast if I'd been out really late and wanted to have an uninterrupted sleeping off hangover lie in
OP, I've not had a puppy/new dog with small people around. Dogs were here before DC. Training in your situation will involve training your children as well as your dog.

My only regret is that I don't have enough money to have a couple more dogs.

As said before, the decision why to get a dog, is practically the same as for having children - lots of reasons not to - time, money, dirt, (I'm talking about the kids here) - and just the one reason to get one (kids or dogs) - just because you WANT one.

If you take time to train a dog/and choose the breed to suit you - you shouldn't have any serious behavior problems.

I always worry about leaving my dog when going away - but if you have family that won't let you down - thats a real bonus. I can't bear to leave mine in kennels.

The only problem I can forsee for you is that dogs need walking everyday and if you have a 4 and 7 year old - then they'll have to come with you come rain and shine, winter and summer - that can be a drag. My DD at 8 hated joining walks but I could'nt leave her home alone during school holidays.

If you want to go off for the day in the hols - you have to get someone in feed/let the dog out if its more that 4 hours - but often you can take them with you.

An alternative could be to take in other friends dogs (well behaved only) while they are on holiday and see how you go.

You can't housetrain a puppy if you're not at home almost all of the day and good breeders/dogs homes won't sell you one if you work full time. If you get an older rescue dog it will probably not be trained in any way and may have behaviour issues from previous bad homes.
Of course most people get a dog without giving a thought to all this and most of the time it works out.

I foresaw all the downsides and got ferrets instead. Once they've stopped nipping you (takes about a year) they are very easy to keep. They live outside, need minimum of an hour's play every day (running round the garden and kitchen), and sleep the rest of the time. I wouldn't say they give lots of love exactly, but they are adorably cute, allow themselves to be cuddled, and seek your attention.

They are also trainable, take to a lead easily and will go on walks with you. Are there any dog AND ferret owners on here who can give a comparison? I've come to the conclusion that ferrets instead of dog was a good choice, but would like to hear from anyone who has both.

My Lurcher is short haired and only sheds hair when he's moulting but most of the time no hair. Our house doesn't smell doggy we do t have any carpet downstairs or curtains (blinds) or fabric sofas and I think this helps as there nothing to soak up the aroma. Also I wash his bedding regularly.

The puppy stage was the worse, but short lived. We do have lie ins.

I wasn't too keen on getting a dog but I've loved every moment of it, I quite like the fact I'm forced to have a walk every day. I do about an hour each morning unless the weather is really really bad he spends most of the rest of the day lazing about, which is typical of Lurchers/greyhounds/whippets. My sister got a Lurcher recently and he's lovely too.

"If you get an older rescue dog it will probably not be trained in any way and may have behaviour issues from previous bad homes."

Complete fallacy. Many rescue dogs are well trained. Many have no behavioural problems at all. Any issues they may have will be well documented and the dog only sent home with you if have the resources to deal with it. Dogs end up in rescue because their owners have failed them, not because they are Bad Dogs.

Our local RSPCA centre makes a special effort to train the staffies they get in because there are so many of them and they prove hard to rehome because of breed prejudice - without exception every one they have in leaves better trained than my own dogs. I ought to send them in for staffie boot camp.

Forgot to say before: ferrets only do tiny poos (I still clean them up when I walk them).

Any dog of any age from a rescue centre will take time to settle into the new regime

I agree with all the disadvantages already mentioned but you will be acquiring another member of the family. Your dcs may not pull their weight as much as you expect but they will learn consideration and responsibility for another creature.
I would recommend going to training classes, rescue dog or pup, and take the children too. It helps socialise the dog and lets you observe other owners. There is nothing better for a child's confidence than teaching them to handle a dog. Try and find a class that works towards Good Citizen awards. The pride you feel when you, or your dc, and the dog pass the test is fantastic.
If you are looking for a small medium dog, think about the non shedders. My Bedlington/whippet cross hardly sheds, needs minimal upkeep: brushing, nails and teeth. The Bedlington does not shed but needs a clip or scissoring about every 6 weeks. I do it myself but it is boring for him and me. Remember small does not mean smaller, calmer personalities!
You may get a new set of friends, I walk weekly with people who went to training classes with me. I house sit for one couple when they go away and they have my dogs if I do. I talk to other dog owners and their dogs. Getting out and walking the dogs was the best medicine after my husband died.

Thank you all SO much, definitely lots of food for thought. I've been speaking to RL people who have dogs as well, and one thing that keeps coming through in everyone's opinions and advice is to not do the whole puppy thing in our situation - so I think once we're at home for a good long stretch of time (we're away next weekend, then for a week at Easter) we'll start to have a look at rescues and take it from there.

We would definitely do classes with whatever dog we got, we have a very good friend who's a vet so could point us in the right direction there.

We're not novices to dogs, far from it, I had two GSDs and a Border Collie as a child, my Husband had a GSD. But this is VERY different to owning a dog ourselves, and all that entails. We have a cat now and two guinea pigs so are already tied somewhat, but nowhere near to the extent of how a dog would tie us down. We're still thinking.