Probably posted a thousand times before, but - tell me the truth about owning a dog

[Gorran]

We've thought long and hard for a good few years about getting a dog. We are a family of four - me, sahm, husband, works ridiculous hours, daughters aged 7 and 4 living in the 'burbs of London with lots of lovely parks around.

Looking at a small breed, we're not fussy, and quite keen to get a young rescue dog/puppy if possible and is not a stupid idea?

We like to go away 4-5 times a year. 2 proper holidays and then a few weekends/midweek breaks in school hols. Have family who would look after the dog, or we can afford to kennel - but would rather not. For at least 2 breaks/holidays we could take dog but obviously for a foreign hol we could not.

So - tell me, would you get a dog in my situation? We all want one, are fairly well informed (I think) and not going into it blindly, as I said above, we've thought long and hard about it and are now actually looking at rescues, thinking about breeds etc.

Does anyone regret their dog? Why?

Thank you so much for any advice you can give.

The reality is...

Your house, clothes and car will smell. Lots of dog people claim their house doesn't smell but it does, you just become immune to it. You don't realise until you've been away on holiday for a few days and come back. I have dogs known for having little/no 'doggy' odour and even my house pongs a bit. A waterproof, greasy, historically working breed like a lab or a spaniel will stink even more, as will a jowly drooly dog.

They bring an insane amount of dirt into the house - hair, mud, dust, dander. If you are even the slightest bit houseproud, don't do it. The house will never be clean. Their paraphernalia takes over - stair gates, beds, crates, bowls, mats. There will be piss, crap and puke in varying amounts - even a healthy adult dog will very occasionally produce exorcist-style vomit or diarrhoea on three walls, the carpet and the sofa during the night.

They can be a drag on holidays. You have to find a dog friendly campsite or hotel, possibly paying extra for the privilege, and dog friendly pubs or restaurants. Dog cannot be left alone in car, tent or hotel room. Lots of attractions the kids will want to visit won't allow dogs. I adore holidaying with my dogs but everything we do is centred around them - we run on the beach, we climb mountains, we visit other venues for our dog sport.

They are a tie. You always have to get back for the dog - no more day trips, lie-ins, nights out without paying kennel or dog walking fees. Walks must be done every morning and every night, regardless of weather, regardless of human illness, kids included. Everybody has to be on board with walking and training.

They are wonderful, rewarding, I wouldn't be without them but it's a lifestyle change at least somewhat akin to having your first child in that you are suddenly responsible for this living thing and nothing quite prepares you for it. I remember the first few weeks being incredibly stressful - I had headaches, nausea, constant anxiety, many times picked up the phone ready to call and return the dog - and I had always had dogs in the family, the only difference being that this was my first that I'd had full responsibility for.

I am not trying to put you off, just making sure that you are truly prepared for the lifestyle change you'll undergo if you do want to get a dog.

Well, we travel to about the same extent as you, OP, and we have a puppy. He is boarded when we go away. Realities of owning a dog? Ok. You did ask...

They smell. They bring mud in to your house constantly. They shed hair everywhere. They steal things. They chew things. They cost a fortune (food/toys/vets bills/beds/leads/collars/boarding/insurance and on and on and on...) They are a tie. They need walking come rain or shine. They do not understand lie ins. They embarass you in public. They will get you in to awkward situations with other dog walkers. At this time of year, your garden will be destroyed. Puppies are incredibly hard work.

But.

My dog is funny. He is warm and cuddly. He gets me out every day, come rain or shine. He cheers me up with his antics. He thinks I'm brilliant. The children adore him, and him them. I've made some good friends through walking him.

It's a bit like having another toddler, but one that you can leave for short amounts of time. In my opinion, a dog is more than a pet. They take up so much of your time, and require so much from you, that they are the closest thing to another human member of the family.

Toboldygo, that is exactly the kind of response I'd hoped for! One spelling out everything I may not have thought of, the smell being the particular one that I think might bother me the most!

DH and DC are trying to talk me into having a dog. I really don't think it's for me.

I don't regret my dogs but there are times I wonder why I put myself through this.

Often when It's thick ice/slippery black ice and I still have to negotiate my way, down hill, with one, two or three dogs (depending upon how brave I am)

When the children are ill and I have to find morning childcare so I walk the dogs without having to drag vomiting children around the park, you know it's odd but not many people like babysitting for children who are vomiting copiously all over the floor/sofa/themselves

When I come to home from work to discover that I forgot to put the bin in the yard/out of reach and they've emptied it all over the dining room and kitchen or I find I did remember to put the bin out so they've occupied themselves by ripping a full roll of toilet paper to shreds all over the back of the house instead.

When I'm skint and have to choose between wine or quality dog food [sob]

Holidays are not such an issue for us anymore, but have been in the past. It cost us £349 last year for two weeks kenneling plus the cost of vax and kennel cough drops.

have we mantioned the expense? they cost a bloody fortune, as well as the obvious purchase and food costs, there are vet costs, eric has been neutered last week, taken for check up today and he has got an infection so needs antibiotics and another check up. walking in the aprk today on solid ice while being pulled around by dogs wasnt much fun. training clubs take over your life, I go out 2 eveings a week and it will be 3 in the summer. One of my dogs is dog aggresive, this means I have to try and avoid other people and dogs for a quite life so I drive miles away to walk.

Oh and the mud, and the hair, an the smell.
that said they are my world, always happy to see me even if I have only popped to the shop, never give me lip and keep me so fit, keep me warm in the eveing and give the best cuddles ever.
However people always say my house smells lovely (god knows why maybe they expcet it to smell really bad) I have to burn candles and oil burners every night.

I grew up on a farm where dogs were mostly outside and quite well trained for their job so wan't prepared for certain things when I got a dog in a suburban home.

I think the hair is a shock - I have a medium shedder and I find it hard to imagine how much hair a real shedder would lose. It gets everywhere and sticks to socks! (few carpets here)

Also mud/dust. Even if you are not houseproud, expect a whole lot more cleaning, so you are not embarrassed to have people round!

You assume you will be a good trainer, but it is harder than having a well behaved child, and you cannot be absolutely sure of its individual personality and foibles until you have it, so inconvenient or less than perfect behaviour in a domestic or family park setting can be a nuisance.

They do worm their way into your heart though.

Cats are nice.

I'm not a dog lover, I've always been scared of them, and did not want a dog ever. I was out voted and now we have one.
I agree with all that toboldlygo said in her post.

And also, do not underestimate how much you will love them, which is nice in one way but makes them even more of a tie.

In advance I would have said that I would be happy to leave our dog in a kennels when we went away, but in reality we didn't go away when that was the only option.

In advance I said he would spend most of his time out the back, in reality he only ventures out to pee. The kennel we bought was the biggest waste of money.
In advance I said he would never be on the furniture, or on the car seats, and you can guess the reality!!
So its a bit like having children; beforehand you are full of plans of how you will be in charge and not let the baby rule your life, and then you give birth, your life is changed forever, and you wouldn't go back if you could.
It's the same with dogs, only they never grow up and leave home, or go off out with friends, so even more of a commitment

You're either a dog person or not I think. If you are, you'll forgive all the negatives associated with dog-ownership and truly value the unconditional love you receive. If you're not, then every little thing will drive you mad

I can't imagine my house without a dog. Ours is now 13 and his breath stinks, he sheds everywhere (I've given up trying to control it), he barks in the car, scatters dog food over the kitchen floor etc etc etc BUT I'm dreading the day he is no longer with us. We have so many happy memories with him, he is dds best friend in all the world and knows all her secrets, he is the best hot water bottle in this weather, he makes us laugh with his mad antics and he is at the root of our family life.

HTH

They are a big commitment both financially and time wise and you have to be really commited to training them and making them sociable.
They cant be left on their own for more than a few hours.
If you have a garden prepare for mud, mud and more mud. We have a mat at the door, then a towel, then a washable rug to try and trap the dirt. Constant washing of towels, rugs, dog bedding and the dogs.
I have boxers and even they moult their short hair. It even gets in room the dogs aren't allowed in.
If you get a jowly dog, prepare for the slobber shower and dog snot smears.

Walking in ALL weathers.

And no matter how many times the kids say, please, we promise to walk it and clean up after it, eventually its you who will end up doing it all.

We got ours with ideas of days out at the beach, long country walks - guess what, female boxer is really car sick.

BUT - I am so glad I have them, their unconditional love is just heart melting. They make me laugh with the most stupid facial expressions and they just love to cuddle.
I spend hours when the weather is nice playing in the back garden with them and they love getting on the trampoline with the kids.
Thet ate all our homegrown broad beans straight from the plant. They eat the apples (baking apples!) as they fall from the tree.
I love the way they get all excited , as if welcoming a long lost friend when they see you.(even if you just went to put the bins out).

Someone once said to me - you buy a pet, you buy heartache.

If you are starting with a puppy.... everything will be weed on and pooped on and chewed, you can never put down a tissue, cloth, sock -ANYTHING at a height the pup can reach.

with a puppy it is like going back to having a baby - up in the night to let it out to wee and poop, needy, needs cuddles, crying/whining, getting its diet right, training, and not being able to leave it for long as well as no holidays for a while if you intend using kennels/sitters.

It will eat disgusting things - I had to stop mine choking on cat poop by fishing it out with a bare finger yeuuuuuuuukkkkkkk. It will like poop of ANY description - to eat and roll in. It will eat last year's manky old apples from the ground, then puke them up on your pillow. It will get its own poop stuck all over its bum hair and need it washing.

It will also eat things like plastic bags and you may have to assist the poop out.... that is pretty bad.... especially in the middle of the park....with kids going - "ewwww what is that lady doing mummy"

Bytheway that is not selling me the idea. Has anyone mentioned 'anal glands' yet?

ewwwwwwwwwwwww just reminded me, more than once we have had to remove a used condom from erics mouth.

I started a thread like this more than 5 years ago asking people to put me off. It didn't. DD (dear dog) is now 5 years old and I can genuinely say we have never regretted it.

At times been irritated, yes, but what that smelly mutt has brought to us as a family in terms of love, seeing the dcs giving and receiving care, FAR outweighs the stress, smell and expense. Go for it!

Everything above is true for us and our dog, especially embarrassing us in public. And she gives us so much fun I can hardly believe there's no law against it. We're also significantly healthier, not just in terms of weight loss (7kg for me, more for dh) and fitness but fewer coughs colds etc.

ps, dita, you have a dog called Eric? Eric the dog? Do you have a cat called Eric the cat?

I would like a dog too but worry about all them things, would a shitzu erradicate all thes problems?

ralph once ate the streamers off dd3 bike. i had to help remove them the other end. same for j-cloths and baby wipes. was gross.

last week he puked up a whole sock. i had to figure out which sock so i wasnt forever searching for the matching pair

dog fur gets everywhere. as soon as you've vacumned and put the vacumn cleaner away, another ball of fur will go floating down the hallway taunting you.

you wont worry about a 'nice' jacket as much, but will look for one thats practical,waterproof and cleans easily. same for boots.

you will find poo-bags in every coat you own. same for old dog treats.

indeed eric the dog, cat has same name as me, which is rather embarassing but he came with it. Get very mixed reactions about erics name. he is named after eric northman hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I'm committed to our golden retriever - one year old, Rollo - BUT...if I had my time again, I'd NOT have got a dog right now. Look at any of my posts on The Doghouse to see why. However, in my case, I think that it's really my lifestyle at fault and not the dog. I run a f/t business albeit from home, am a solo mother to twin 10 yr olds who didn't really want a dog and resent the time he takes away from them.

If you don't have committments other than DCs and a home to care for, then I would think it's all much more do-able. However, do pay attention to everything everyone has said here and really think about how you'll add in another family member with all it's particular needs to the demands already made on you.

For me it's been a bit like having a late life child with challenges and I have to say, at times, I feel the new addition has tipped me over the edge and definitely massively increased the stress in my life. But again, this may be the set up I have here and with more support and without the sole responsibility to generate the family income, then it may have been more enjoyable.

He's 1 yr old now and much easier than at 7 weeks to 1 yr and another thing I'd consider, even in your case, is getting an older dog aged 1 to 2 yrs, rather than have to go through the puppy stage - unless you're not houseproud and have DCs who don't mind being chewed and snapped at for a few months and also don't mind the smell of doggy poo all over your kitchen floor!

If we are doing 'most disgusting things dogs do' to put you off...

My boy wolf once chased a buzzard off a dead rabbit and proceeded to snarf the rabbit down whole, head first. This not agreeing with him, he barfed it back up. He then decided it would sit better in his stomach if he gave it a good crunching first, especially the head. Attempt #2 at chugging it down was successful.

The next day he was so constipated from all the bone and bunny fur (he is raw fed so used to this but never a whole bunny at once!) that every time he had to poo he screamed. Actually screamed, span in circles and generally made a huge spectacle of himself.

Girl wolf once ate a whole load of long grass and decided to poop this out as a local walking group were passing by. The long stringy grass got stuck, she started spinning, howling and trying to bite and lick her arse. I had to pull out the shitty grass strands with a dock leaf.

Just last week a friend came to stay the night in our spare room. As she was getting ready for bed boy wolf padded into the room and proceeded to drop a stinking wet shit. He's never, ever done this before. In the early hours of the morning she was woken by girl wolf barfing on the stair carpet outside her room.

On more than one occasion I've found chicken wings buried behind the sofa cushions.

we knew all this - and yet we CHOSE to get a dog.....

Yeah. When you sit it down in black and white, we're all a bit mental really, aren't we?

The farts. Dear lord, the farts...

(Think most of what there is to say has been said already. Apart from the fact that our hound really, really does not have a doggy smell at all. Except the farts.)