Things your dog COULD be useful for...

[musicposy]

Over Christmas I have discovered that our thieving Jack Russell cross is brilliant at cracking nuts. One small squeeze of her jaws and they are open. She is more efficient than every nutcracker we have in the house.

Unfortunately, she eats the nut, which defeats the purpose slightly.

So, what would your dog be great at doing for you - if they were better trained?

Mine has an extra toe. Haven't found a use for it yet but I'm sure we will before it gets lopped off.

Put her on a crowded commuter train - let her fart and lo and behold empty seats !

(Although I think my DH might have done a good job this morning doing that himself )

Oh, and all the fur he sheds might be useful for stuffing pillows or something.

Wood chipper, nothing she likes better than working her way through sticks, branches, logs! Actually this could be a handy side line as I could sell the woodchopping's to hamster and gerbil owners as well as garden centres.

Avantia

I've always wondered about knitting dog hair jumpers. Make great presents for friends you want to get rid of.

You needn't bother knitting them. Just ask you friends around and allow them to roll around on the floor. Hey presto! They've all got a nice new black jumper and hands, face, feet ...

Sausage detection dog. If Customs were struggling with an epidemic of illegal sausages being smuggled into the country in false-bottomed suitcases, my dog could be led up and down the conveyor belt and she'd eat indicate the lot.

Foot washer, take your socks off in this house and one of the poodles will give you a 5* foot wash..

One of my dogs is a perfect tennis ball finder... if only there was a job available he could make a fortune.

The other one can sing... its hilarious, but bloody annoying.

All that training, hahahaa they look scary, but are big, cuddly, sofa monsters really.

Mine has enormous ears and should be useful for picking up sky tv or signals from mars (bless!)

My dad reckons Vera looks like a loo brush without the stick....

We have a wood chipper too. And a face/foot/ear washer. And she is very good at getting the stuck-on bits off cooking dishes. We call her the pre-wash cycle.

one of mine was excellent at pulling off socks, but he seems to have given it up.

Mine could play the role of a wolf in a movie. He looks just like one. Apart from that he has a very musical howl when Dog2 is barking too much.

I haven't figured out what Dog2 is good for yet. Face-washing, I suppose.

Buggerlugs, I don't think i'd like to be woken up like that :)

One of mine will fetch me the remote control for the tv when asked. It would be useful if he could change the channel and adjust the volume too.

Mine loves to attack the hoover, and regularly hangs on to it while being swished around the room. On more than one occasion I have considered spraying him with floor polish so he can buff the floor to a gleaming shine.

Ours likes carrying bags of shopping in his mouth - he comes to meet the car on the drive and takes bags off us to bring in

My dog would be a fabulous ball boy at Wimbledon

As long as no one minds soggy balls and flying spit when the balls were hit again.

My Collie would be a good at disarming people with guns. Or a professional party popper streamer catcher, but I'm not sure there's much call for that!

Mine are:
Dustbins, happy to deal with any household scraps.
Fireguards, they block all heat escaping from the fire
Draught excluders, when lying against the doors.
Duvets, but very heavy ones when they lie on top of you. They are much better at being
Hot water bottles.
and finally, teddy bears :)

Draught excluder
Professional sofa tester
Bed warmer

Arf, I think there is a pattern here...

He would also be excellent as an extra in disaster movies - plays dead so convincingly that I sometimes have to put my hand on his chest to check he is still breathing

Ddog is also pretty good at holding down the duvet (useful, given the high winds we have had up here) - though she clearly feels that the duvet is in constant danger of flying away, regardless of the weather!