Things your dog COULD be useful for...

[musicposy]

Over Christmas I have discovered that our thieving Jack Russell cross is brilliant at cracking nuts. One small squeeze of her jaws and they are open. She is more efficient than every nutcracker we have in the house.

Unfortunately, she eats the nut, which defeats the purpose slightly.

So, what would your dog be great at doing for you - if they were better trained?

footwarmer, proxy teller off of children (goes ballistic if they argue), karaoke backing singer, sheep impersonator (bedlington terrier)...

Both of mine are proxy teller offs of children too! Added to that, my younger dog is a proxy teller off of the older dog. If I tell older dog to do something he'd better look smart - but it's fine for her to ignore instructions!

My elder dog is also a good proxy chaperone. If you so much as hug another family member, he barks like crazy. Hugging is not allowed. If DH and I want any more than hugging we have to put him out of sight

I was going to say hearing dog for the deaf, but I thought about it, and it doesn't work. When the phone rings, he howls!

I was going to say hearing dog for the deaf, but I thought about it, and it doesn't work. When the phone rings, he howls!

Oops!

He does however make a great electric fence tester!

Ours is also an excellent depth tester for puddles - and indeed all bodies of water. When she was younger, she was paddling at the edge of a local loch, going across the submerged footpath. She hadn't realised that the path would end and the water depth would increase abruptly when she got to the other side of the path - and she simply vanished under water, and came up with a most surprised expression on her face.

According to dh, she had the same look on her face when she charged through a puddle in the meadow (that she always has to charge through, even in the summer when it's hardly there) - and vanished in the middle, because we'd had so much rain, she was out of her depth!

Our dog would make a great Inspector - either a Quality Control Inspector or a Detective Inspector!

He has to carefully scrutinise anything new which comes into the house - examining it in fine detail. You can't open a parcel without him sticking his nose into it, and if I happen to wear new clothes he has to give them the once-over with a very thoughtful expression on his face.

My JRT has been stealing nuts too!! Although he only eats walnuts, he cracks the shells of hazlenuts and almonds and leaves them on the floor. The only time he has ever climbed up to the table was to steal the Christmas nuts!!
He is lovely, but I don't think he will ever have the talents of

you know those doorbells that make dog barking noises instead of a ding dong? well my girl could record those...

my boy is just wonderful in every way but I could loan him out to anyone who needs help with bailiffs! He doesn't like bailiffs

bailiffs don't like him either!

One of our dogs would be great for making anyone feel loved and needed. The second anyone looks like they will sit down, she's on them looking all pathetic and unloved, and then the nanosecond a lap is formed, she's on it with her head leaned up against the person, and won't move until she is kicked off.

The other one does a smashing job of climbing on top of the sofa and laying there all day, making sure it doesn't float away. She's on there for hours, and our sofa hasn't gone missing once in the entire time she's been with us. (Not that it ever did before, but you never know with those sorts of things, do you?)

Our dog could be a fart detector. If you fart when he is anywhere near you he leaps up and looks terribly offended. Even if he was apparently fast asleep.

His other specialism is cat bottom licker. Our cats need a lot of licking

Alternately dead fish finder. This one we are less pleased about!

Mine can get the washing off the line for me.

Just need to teach him to put it in the basket rather than dragging it around the garden!