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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

What would our ideal dog be, if any?

35 replies

5inthebed · 31/01/2011 18:06

Ok, so the DC and DH have finally ground me down about the dog.

We have 3 dc aged 7, 5 and 2. DH works full time, I am SAHM.

DH keen to get a dog that is (roughly) toilet trained so wants to get a dog aged 6 months - 2 years. We would either get a rescue dog or one from the local free paper.

We have a cat, so I thought a puppy would be better, but again, I'm not keen on the toilet training stage of puppies.

So what breed? We were thinking something like a Labrador. I would prefer smaller like a Jack Russel but DH thinks they will be a yappy dog.

Any info welcome.

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Scuttlebutter · 31/01/2011 18:20

Um, "ground down" doesn't sound very keen. Wink

Seriously, the decision to have a dog is for the adults in the house, not DC. Unless all adults are completely signed up for it, then don't do it.

Have you thought about approaching this gradually? Lots of ways to gradually introduce dogs into family life without necesssarily incurring the expense of owning one. Why not start with your local rescue/dogs home? Most of these are crying out for volunteer dog walker/helpers. Make a date for a regular walkie session - this will be great for assessing the kids's enthusiasm when it is wet/cold/muddy and you will soon see if the novelty wears off. It is also a good way to find out more about the different breeds/types of dogs.

If that goes well, you could progress to foster dog. Foster dog would live with you, charity/rescue funds food and vets bills, you provide a loving home on a temporary basis. Very rewarding and again a great way to get the feel of having a dog in the house and learn about different dogs without a permanent commitment. It also enables you to get to know a local rescue. So if you do decide to adopt, you will then be very well placed.

Also don't forget Cinnamon Trust - a wonderful charity that helps elderly or sick people. You provide help with dog walking and sometimes short term foster care. This would also be a great way for DC to learn about caring for older people.

When considering dog ownership, think about life of dog - up to 15 years. Consider expense, mess, allergies, tie, holiday arrangements, what will happen if you go back to work later after DC start school.

Good luck!

DooinMeCleanin · 31/01/2011 18:24

Jack Russels are not known for being great with children. Staffordshire Bull Terriers are widely known as the Nanny Dog because of their natural affinity to children.

Please do not get a dog from free ads or Gumtree etc. you have no idea why the person is rehoming their dog or what the temprement of the dog is. Nor is being 6 months to 2 years any gurantee that the dog will be toilet trained. If you are the sort of person who will give up on your pet after just 6 months, you are not likely to be sort of person who has bothered training their pet.

Rescue will have had all their dogs assessed and will only give you a dog that is suitable for your family. A decent rescue will also offer ongoing support and advice.

5inthebed · 31/01/2011 18:25

Maybe ground down was a bit strong. The DC and DH hav wanted a dog for ages but we lived in a flat. We now have a house with garden, and I have sai we can have one, if they are prepared for the work that goes with it.

DS1 already helps loads with the cat, he makes sure she is fed and watered every day. There is a park across the road from us where we can walk a dog. We don't go abroad on holidays so dog would be included on family holiday. Would get it insured, our last dog was.

We are still in the thinking about it stage, as like you've said it is a huge step.

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5inthebed · 31/01/2011 18:26

Thanks for that about Jack Russels. Will cross that one off my invisible list. Not keen on staffies tbh.

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coffeeinbed · 31/01/2011 18:32

I find bigger dogs easier - easier to house train and calmer.

weefriend · 31/01/2011 18:41

Personally, and I know it's unpopular with some, but with kids under 5 I wouldn't get an older dog. I know a lot of people take them on and find them wonderful but the truth is that they just aren't as predictable as a dog with a known history. I would either get a puppy or wait a couple more years until your youngest isn't quite so young.

Perhaps see if you have a friend who will lend you a dog for a day (or more) so you can have a bit of a trial run with a dog in the house to see what it is like.

Do lots of research into what breeds would fit with your lifestyle. Gwen Bailey has a good book about breeds. Also worth a look is The Perfect Puppy to give you an idea of what is involved with a puppy and that gives a bit of advice about choosing too.

I must add that I agree with above that you must want to do this, not be doing it for the sake of your family. Dogs are a lot of hard work and a big commitment and you are the one that will end up doing all the walking, grooming, cleaning up after, taking to vets, keeping up with flea and worm treatments, arranging care for when you have days out or holidays etc. etc. etc.

DooinMeCleanin · 31/01/2011 18:44

ofgs there is nothing more unknown than a new puppy. Raising a puppy from day 1 does not guarentee temprement.

And not all rescue dogs have unknown history, amny have been handed in by young families owing to change of circumstance, house move, divorce etc. The rest have been assessed by qualified and experienced behavioralists and have lived with foster families.

PLEASE can we get rid of this idea that rescue dogs are unknown and must be evil.

Vallhala · 31/01/2011 19:06

"I wouldn't get an older dog. I know a lot of people take them on and find them wonderful but the truth is that they just aren't as predictable as a dog with a known history"

BOLLOCKS!

That kind of talk invariably comes from someone who has no working knowledge of rescue and it costs lives. And makes me bloody cross, in case you dodn't guess by now.

Many rescue dogs DO have a history, having come from family homes owing to redundancy/ill health/house moves etc. By no means are all rescue dogs strays from the pound. Regardless of this all decent rescues don't just take the previous owner's word but assess their dogs before rehoming.

I am a rescuer and I am sick to death of this "don't know the history" crap being trotted out because people believe it, reject the idea of a rescue dog and go instead to a breeder, leaving the rescue dogs to languish in kennels and the pound dogs which would have taken their places when they moved on to new homes killed because rescue has no space for them.

Whatever you do, PLEASE don't go via your local free ads or paper. The last person n here who said she did that had the dog killed within 48 hours of getting him after her neighbours' DD was bitten. Take a dog on from an ad in the paper and where do you go when it all goes wrong? Who will have the dog if it doesn't work out? How do you know that the owners are telling the truth? Where's the professional, experienced assessment? Who do you turn to for advice?

A dog from a reputable and responsible rescue will be assessed, neutered, vaccinated, microchipped, matched to the new owner and vice versa, bringing with him a lifetime's support and an agreement that the rescue will take the dog back should the owner not be ablt to keep him, even if that's in 10 years time. A decent rescue will also homecheck you - this is for YOUR benefit as much as the dogs and irons out many problems before they arise. Better to be sort out that hole in the fence than to pay a vet's bill for a run over dog or worse still find your new dog dead on the side of the road, for example.

In looking for a rescue, accept nothing less than the above as a minimum and you will be fine, honestly advised and supported for life.

As for breeds, I'd have a Staffie happily, personally. Largely it's not about breed though, it's about personality and temperement and they all differ from dog to dog, not from breed to breed. You like Labs? You wouldn't want mine, I can tell you, he's a grumpy sod and wouldn't take happily to the noise and chaos of young children. My younger German Shepherd, on the other hand, is as soft as butter and would love you all.

Find a couple of decent rescues, go visit but don't go looking for a breed. Tell them all about yourselves, be honest, and let them guide you. Go with an open mind - it's no use wanting the arsey Lab when the gentle German Shepherd would far better suit your circumstances. (This is the woman who was once looking for a small, approx 4 year old collie cross or Spaniel type girl and ended up with a 9 year old long haired white German Shepherd who became the love of her life!).

If you need a recommendation for a reputable rescue, let me know the county/area you're in and I'll do my best to help, as will others on here I'm sure.

Val - independent network rescuer and fosterer for rescue.

Laska · 31/01/2011 19:44

Find a reputable rescue, tell them about your circumstances and (be absolutely painfully, worst-case scenario here!) how much work you can put in in terms of trainign and exercise. With you having kids, I would try to find a rescue who has been in foster with kids - there are lots about and here's a great place to start looking LINK

5inthebed · 31/01/2011 19:47

Thank you so much Val, I was hoping you would reply on my thread. I read your posts with great respect on your knowledge on dogs.

We are probably going to look at a rescue dog, there are two great rescue centres near us, one which also has some retired greyhounds. They also do home visit trials for the dogs, so that they aren;t chucked in head first.

I used to have an alsation as a child, they are fantastic dogs. DH does not like them though.

I am in Newcastle btw. Anywhere you can recommend?

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Vallhala · 31/01/2011 20:16

Yep, Northern Staffordshire Bull Terrier Rescue, but you said you don't like Staffies... !! :o

You've a German Shepherd Rescue that way... your DH doesn't know what he's missing (I have 2).

I don't know them but I like the sound of this lot's no kill, homecheck and promise to take back policies

Further afield, in Weardale, there's Janet and Gareth at Farplace Animal Rescue - I do know them. They don't rehome dogs very often and if they do the dogs will be with foster carers or still in the original home but nonetheless they will probably be very well placed to tell you who's who locally.

Hmm... going to have to think some more. I mostly know the other side to you, as I used to live up there bloody cold place it is too!

hephaestus · 31/01/2011 20:59

"I am in Newcastle btw. Anywhere you can recommend?"

www.adoptadognortheast.co.uk/

Run by a friend of mine - they generally have more dogs in than are shown on the website - drop her a call or email, describe your situation and she'll let you know if or when they have something suitable. All the dogs are assessed within her home environment. :)

chickchickchicken · 31/01/2011 23:21

agree with the above regarding rescue and breed of dog but have to add that i have an amazing jack russell.
she is now 14 and was absolutely great when we were fostering and was even mentioned in care planning meetings as having such a positive effect on childrens emotional development.
with regard to puppy i would much prefer to have an older dog (2+) around children as their suitability can be assessed.
good luck

DooinMeCleanin · 31/01/2011 23:30

Yes I have owned a perfect JRT too. She was lovely with the dc, but the breed in general is not great with kids (be carefull not o generalise too much, each breed will have a few that break the rules. I currently have a Whippet who will not chase and is afraid of my sisters rabbit. We call her cat-dog).

JRTs are mainly a working breed and regular owners can struggle to find enough to stimulate them with. Luckily mine was a bit thick and a few short training bursts with a few hours chasing seagulls (which she never caught) a week was more than enough for her.

Puppies + small children = living hell. Imo.

exexpat · 31/01/2011 23:31

I have a border terrier and they are one of the breeds often recommended for families - generally very sociable, lively (possibly a bit too lively for a 2-year-old, though) but gentle. I had wanted a border for a long time, and a friend was having a litter at just the right time for us, so that is what we went for.

But other friends with children who were looking for dogs at the same time went the rescue route and have ended up with beautiful, healthy, friendly dogs who have fitted in perfectly with their families, even though they are of no recognisable breed. If I was doing it again I would certainly try the rescue first.

And I would try to go with no preconceptions about what kind I was looking for - one friend who set out to get anything but a terrier cross did end up with a terrier cross, and another friend who was looking for a small, manageable dog has ended up with a gorgeous, enormous shaggy thing who is probably part GSD and they are not sure what else. But they are both perfect!

5inthebed · 01/02/2011 09:56

Hephaetus, thank you so much for showing me that website. it looks ideal for what we are looking for. I am going to show DH tonight when he gets home from work tonight.

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Ephiny · 01/02/2011 11:55

I agree about having an open mind. I had a list of requirements for my ideal dog - small/medium size, female, under 2 years old, short haired, light-coloured (no idea why!), no 'unpopular' breeds. Ended up with a huge big long-haired 5 year old Rottie boy who I love more than I would have thought possible, though was a bit Shock when I first saw him! He's definitely the sweetest and most affectionate dog I've ever met, the only regret about not having him from a puppy is that we get fewer years with him :(

For a home with children I agree with everyone who's said rescue is fine, if you have a rescue dog who has lived happily with small children in the previous home or a foster home, you can have more confidence about their suitability, not less, than you would have with a new puppy IMO.

I think a Staffie might be ideal for you tbh, is there any particular reason you don't like them?

5inthebed · 01/02/2011 12:12

I don't like their weird shaped heads Blush. My friend has two and they are lovely, I just don't like the way they look.

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DooinMeCleanin · 01/02/2011 16:14

5inthebed, I used to feel the same way. But then I saw them grin. No one can resist a grinning Stafford.

Ephiny · 01/02/2011 16:20

I think they tend to have quite cute faces personally, but you can't help the way you feel! Would be a shame to let that put you off an otherwise good match for your family though...

kiery · 01/02/2011 16:27

Broder Terrier every time!

Smaller dog but not yappy at all. My Pip is the best dog I have ever had. Great with my children and my cat, who just ignores her.

Also, my husband doesn't see them very often (he's a vet).

izzybiz · 01/02/2011 18:21

I have a Staffy and she doesn't have the huge head.
She does have that 'Staffy grin' though and it is irresistable!
She is fantastic with my Dc who are 6 and 2, a big baby that loves nothing more than cuddles on your lap! Grin
I have found her to be a great choice of breed for their size- not too big or small- low shedding short hair, very resilient etc.

Keep an open mind, there are lot in rescues unfortunately.

GrimmaTheNome · 01/02/2011 18:29

We got a 10 month old dog from his breeder - he didn't have the panache for showing, so he needed a pet home. So he was trained and very much a known quantity - much moreso than our previous dog who we had as a pup, really. If there are some breeds you're interested in, its worth looking on the breed website as its not too uncommon to find adult dogs.

Mine is a standard dachshund, perfect if you want a small dog that doesn't yap. They bark. Shorthaired, so very low shedding and unsmelly.

5inthebed · 01/02/2011 19:01

Grimma, I would love a dachshund. I had one growing up and we had one a few years ago. I couldn't justify spending £600+ for a dog.

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Scuttlebutter · 01/02/2011 19:14

5, have you thought about Dachsund rescue. See a list http://www.dogpages.org.uk/breedd.htm here.