Can I febreeze the dog?

[SlubberdeGurnard]

Not really.

But seriously my house REEKS.

They're muck spreading (is this usual in January) and then the muck runs off into the puddles and ditches and EVERY SINGLE SODDING puddle and ditch and small patch of field dampness MUST be lain in. Flamboyantly.

I knew I signed up for dog smell but not shit smell.

She gets hosed after every walk but still the stench lingers.

Is there something that I can burn or waft about that might help?

We've got three greyhounds, who are allegedly low-shedding - at this time of year, they all get covered in mud, one is a keen digger, and another is fond of rolling in noxious substances. All can do farts of WMD proportions.

Think you have to tackle several aspects. Dogs - bath with gentle dog shampoo (we use the Paul Mitchell one - I like their range for humans) with plenty of grooming also.

The car (if you use this to regularly transport them to walk destinations) - we have two fabric covered soft dog beds in boot of estate car. They are washed regularly (monthly) with hoovering/mucking out of boot also, followed by Febreze of car upholstery. We keep a Yankee Clean Cotton freshener thing in the back which seems to help too. With luck the car can be the first line of defence to soak up the oomska.

House - regretfully have said no to downstairs carpet. We have Laura Ashley sofas with loose covers - loose covers and scatter cushions are taken off and washed regularly every couple of months. Quilts on back of sofas also washed regularly. Dog beds/duvets on floors washed weekly, on the hottest possible temp. Floors hoovered every other day (more if visitors or if really filthy) with follow up mopping weekly(sometimes more often) and spot cleaning after hoovering. Windows opened regularly for airing.

Febreze squirted after hoovering on upholstery. Bowl of potpourri in hall. Use Yankee or other candles judiciously (L'Occitance do nice ones too) especially if visitors coming around. Make sure room is dusted with occasional use of polish/glass cleaner (snout/tail art on glass French doors and long mirrors). Airing regularly.

Also wash dog coats regularly.

Tis a pain.

What I find frustrating is that I can do a lot of work to get house clean/relatively fragrant but at this time of the year especially it only seems to take five minutes before it is back looking like a farmyard.

ooooh, my favourite word..... oomska

Our mud-and-puddle-loving semi-long coat GSDnever smells and we don't bath her (mind you, despite her other 'sgusting mud habits, at least she's not a poo-roller!). She is groomed every couple of days though and so I think this strips out loads of dirt.

I am entering the Turner Prize next year with the snout/tail art on our french doors. We also have dog hair tumbleweeds.

Scuttlebuttle if you care to join me we could do an installation.

TBH I'd keep my dog on the lead anywhere near muck spreading, but not because of the pong.

Mine isn't much of a roller (just rubs his head in particularly smelly places but doesn't like wet thank goodness so no puddling). But he once had an extremely nasty stomach bug after licking up some slurry after the wagon had been down the lane. At the time he'd regularly eat sheepshit with no ill effects, I thought he had an iron stomach but slurry was too much.

Anyone who reading this who is wanting a dog but getting put off - get something like mine, a shorthaired dachshund - doesn't like water, short hair, just not the sheer quantity of dog to deal with (10kg, too long for sink, he has exclusive use of the on-suite bath but hardly ever needs it). My house really doesn't smell doggy at all.

daft DP tried to follow her to get her back

I hope you gave your DP a huge bollocking. A dog is far less likely to go through the ice than a person, and more likely to be able to get itself out.

Sprinkle the dog liberally with bicarbonate of soda and brush out? Seriously, don't ever let wet dog in your house, dogs can never smell good when wet even after multiple shampooings.

Don't sprinkle your dog with baking powder.
Ingestion of large amounts of baking soda or baking powder can lead to electrolyte abnormalities, congestive heart failure or muscle spasms.

You can't leave wet dogs outside in cold weather either. They can get hypothermia, just like you or I.

I used a spray for dogs on my pooch, it worked really well. (for wet dog smell anyways)
It was this brand, but it has been a few years, it was a spray in a purple can.
www.hartz.com/Hartz_Products/Dog_Products/Grooming/Sprays_and_Wipes/3270010688_hartz_groomers_best_freshening_spray.aspx Not sure if you can get it in the UK.
Here are a couple UK ones you could try.
www.petplanet.co.uk/product.asp?dept_id=443&pf_id=2787

www.amazon.co.uk/Johnsons-Dog-Deodorant/dp/B003672R3C

Or, make a spray using vinegar and water. (We did rinse our dog with vinegar and water after he was skunked, it did help a lot.)
Make your own dog deodorant.
www.howtodothings.com/pets-animals/how-to-make-deodorant-powder-for-dogs
And another make your own, but I don't see any neutralizer in the recipe, so it may only be a scent to cover, not get rid of, the odor.
Good luck!

waitrose has sort of baby wipes for dogs. they are fairly good at destinking, otherwise kitchen roll with a little squirt of washing up liquid for muddy undercarriage. i am not particularly houseproud but do not like doggy smell so regular baths.

enormopup not allowed upstairs except for bath so it is not all that easy to persuade him in and i am finding it difficult to get my arms round his furry bulk.

Groovy, I like it! We could be the Gilbert and George of the dog world. I see Charles Saatchi buying our installations (made from the tumbleweeds) and a special gallery set up with our doors in it, and people earnestly discussing the futility of dirt, the essential circularity of the domestic round and the strange similarity of the marks to a atlas of a strange country - thus forming a metaphorical map of the strangeness of our interior landscapes.

Yes, isn't oomska such a lovely word? Are you a fellow Withnail fan, MotherJack?

Lol @ the art instillations.

Thank you all for your suggestions. I have a Yankee smelly thing hanging in my car now (they were out of the diffuser jobbies) and have febreezed liberally. Hopefully that will help in that stink hole.

I think I'll try the increased cleaning and washing of bedding angle a la scuttle rather than applying anything to the dog and see how that goes.

It's my all time favourite film, Scuttle.
I have the screenplay, so I can read it when not watching it

Vim under the sink seems particularly apposite given the nature of the thread or perhaps we could talk about "matter".... Realise I can quote huge chunks of it - I love it too.

I use 1001 no vac carpet freshener. The pet one is best but not always easy to get near us. It works really well, much better than Febreeze and you can use it on curtains too.

www.1001carpetcare.co.uk/index.php/1001-products/no-vac-pet

I suppose I better admit to Febreezing one of my stinky mutts a few weeks ago. Morning sickness and I didn't have the energy to bath her. I wouldn't recommend it, but she is still alive. (the others ran off as soon as they saw I had a spray out. )

I don't know you know - with all Slubber's "improvements" I'm thinking perfumed ponce

LOL @ midori's confession

at perfumed ponce.

The dog has not yet succumbed to being fragranced....or were you calling me a ponce????

Oh the cheek of it.

I couldn't stand the smell of Oscar any longer so i will admit i took him for a swim in the sea very early this morning & took his puppy shampoo & washed him & towel dried him no one else around & he now smells lovely

Slubber, Mother Jack and I are trading Withnail references - if you've seen the film, it's the bit where they are in the pub and "I" is called this by an Irish hard man,just before "I" goes to the Gents, ending in them running away...

Vim under the sink is Uncle Monty remembering one of his Oxford love affairs, now living with his mother in suburbia.

Doh!

Yes of course Scuttle

I am soooo pleased that I am not the only person who lives in a compost heap Dh calls it 'Dog Dirt Dynamics' - a field of physics whereby the dog gets filthy and only, only when the dog is in the house does the dirt fall off the dog and into the structure of the house