Struggling to get your baby to sleep? Ask MAM’s expert Midwife, Zoe Watson

[BellaMumsnet]

Having a newborn can be really challenging as you navigate feeding, sleeping, and understanding what your baby needs at any given time. We’ve invited MAM’s Midwife, Zoe Watson, to answer any questions you might have around night feeds, sleeping, or establishing a routine with your baby.

• Everyone who shares a question on the thread below will be entered into a prize draw.
• One lucky Mumsnet user will win a £200 voucher.

Zoe will be online on the following dates to answer your questions*:

• 5th May
• 18th May

About Midwife Zoe Watson: Zoe is a Registered Nurse and Midwife with over ten years of experience working in the NHS caring for patients and their families. Zoe qualified as a Midwife in 2012 and has since worked in various settings, from a specialist home birth team to a high-risk delivery suite, and most recently at a community birth centre. Zoe is passionate about maintaining her professional development to enhance the advice and support she gives to new and expectant parents. Zoe has two young daughters, Edith and Dorothy. As a Mum, she has direct experience of water birth, home birth, breastfeeding, breastfeeding through pregnancy, tandem nursing, and weaning.

About Health Visitor Claire Bailey:
A dual-qualified nurse, midwife & health visitor with three beautiful children of her own. Currently working as a health visitor, Claire loves working with families.
Supporting them and their babies through the good and the hard times.

Here’s what MAM has to say:
“We’re MAM and we love babies. We believe that only the best is good enough for them! That’s why for over 45 years we’ve been developing extra-safe baby products that combine attractive, innovative design with proven medical benefits. So, parents can feel confident, and babies feel good.”

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw!
MNHQ

Mumsnet Insight T&Cs apply

*Please note, if your question is urgent, contact your regular GP or call 111.

What are your thoughts around feeding to sleep? Lots of people seem to disagree with doing it. I have a 3 month old and it feels like the right thing to do but I don’t want to set myself up for problems later

Light room or dark room for sleeping ? I'd like a night light - but think darker would be better

What are your thoughts on swaddling or sleeping bags for babies

Does sleep training always work? My 14 month old still feeds to sleep and I'd like him to self-soothe but he's very needy and hyper, doesn't have a drowsy state!

Also- when to introduce a bedtime routine and what should/ could it look like for a young baby?

How long would you keep a baby in a cot in your room before putting them into a their nursery - would the separation be greater the older they get ? Thoughts please

Baby starts off in the cot, after a 3 hour stretch he wakes and won't settle unless it's in my bed. Happy to cosleep and do so safely, but any tips on resettling in the cot would be good! He's 5 months, cot is in our room.

I did not want my DS to have a dummy, but have relented as this seemt to settle him back to sleep, without picking him up - do you think I should try without and let him try to settle on his own ?

How would you set 2 different bedtimes for a baby and toddler - what's your best advice - toddlers are so demanding and I don't want to change his routine around baby - but know I need to get baby into a sleep routine too - how do I plan this ??

how would you know when to cut down on night feeds, and try to help baby sleep though longer ? (5 mo)

How would you manage multiple births (asking for my DF who is not a Mumnsetter yet) and is expecting twins in October, I remember how hard it was with one newborn - I will pass on any tips -tia

Is it ok to put dummies in your hospital bag. I plan to use them but I know not all
Midwife's agree

Is it ever too late to establish a sleep routine? We've always been very relaxed and followed our son's cues but now he's older, we worry we've left it too late. 🙈

Hi everyone, thanks for all of your questions so far. Zoe will be answering any questions that relate to pregnancy and birth (up until 4 weeks postpartum). MAM have also made their expert Claire Bailey available for this Q&A. Claire is a dual-qualified nurse, midwife and health visitor, and will be answering any other questions that relate to her areas of expertise. We hope you find this helpful.

Hi @LeopardLover. This is a great question! It's never too late to bring in healthy sleep habits; even adults need to do it sometimes! Establishing healthy sleep routines for small children is an important part of their overall wellbeing and development. A good sleep routine helps children get the amount of sleep they need, promotes better sleep quality, and helps them establish good sleep habits. The most important thing when establishing a sleep routine is consistency. Start by setting a regular bedtime and wake-up time and stick to it each day. Creating a bedtime routine that your child can rely on every night is also a good idea. This could include a bath, brushing teeth, reading a book, or singing a song. These activities should be calming and soothing. Ensure that your child's bedroom is conducive to sleep. The room should be dark, quiet, and comfortable. Consider leaving a nightlight on if your child is afraid of the dark. If your child has difficulty settling down to sleep, teach them to relax through calming activities such as deep breathing or visualisation. Parents should also ensure that their child gets plenty of exercise during the day and limit their exposure to screens before bedtime. Studies have shown that exposure to screens can disrupt sleep and make it more difficult for a child to settle down. Finally, it's important to be patient and understanding when establishing a sleep routine. It may take some time for your child to adjust, but setting a consistent sleep routine and sticking to it is the best way to ensure your child gets the sleep they need. Zoe.

Hi @thimblgattle167, this is a question I'm asked often - can soothers/dummies/pacifiers be used from birth? The answer isn't a straight yes or no! Soothers, or dummies, are known to be a great help in soothing babies and providing comfort, and some evidence suggests that they reduce the risk of SIDS (for more information on this, please visit the Lullaby Trust website). They can also help babies learn to self-soothe and can be a key part of a successful sleep routine. However, it's important that they are only introduced once feeding is established as they may mask the signs that your baby is hungry, known as feeding cues, and interfere with you both getting to grips with breastfeeding. So, in answer to your question, should they go into your hospital bag? I would say to pick them up so you have them ready, but keep them at home until you're confident that you and your baby have established a good feeding routine. Zoe

Hi @littlecottonbud, congratulations to your friend! You sound like a fantastic friend for getting these tips for her. Having two babies at once can be fun but challenging - so here is my advice for twins:

First, remember that twins are twice the work. Be sure to plan ahead in terms of meals, activities, and childcare. It’s important to break up the day with plenty of rest and relaxation.
Second, know when to ask for help. It’s ok to accept offers of support from family, friends, and neighbours. Please don’t feel like you have to do it all on your own.
Third, be prepared for two different babies. Twins often have different needs and personalities, so be prepared to adjust your approach as needed.
Fourth, get out and about. Going for a walk is a great way to get some fresh air and a break from the house. It’s also a great way to get both babies to sleep.
Finally, take care of yourself. Caring for twins can be exhausting, so make sure you’re getting enough rest, eating healthy, and taking time for yourself.

Being a twin mummy is a unique experience. I hope these tips make things easier for your friend. Zoe

Hello @Firebrickblue, thank you for your question. A baby will find feeding comforting and relaxing and therefore they will fall asleep, breastmilk releases a hormone in it to relax babies and the mother who is feeding. Sleep patterns and routines are a family’s choice, if it’s working for you then you can always implement change at a later stage. At 6 months you will introduce solid food to your baby, and this will automatically change the feeding routine. If you need any further support, please look at the NHS support pages around babies and sleep needs. Thanks, Claire.

Hello @ButterOllocks, thank you for your interesting question. The NHS guidelines state that keeping a room quiet and dark at night helps a baby understand the difference between night and day. This is a choice that parents can make and if keeping a nightlight on suits your family, you can keep the room quiet and keep to a routine in other ways. I hope this helps. Please speak to your local health visitor for further advice. Claire.

Hi, @DanBenandBud, the recommendations for sleeping bags for babies are to make sure you are using the correct size for your baby and the correct tog rating for the time of year and for the arms to be free to move. As for swaddling, this is a parent’s choice and there is a lot of safety advice to follow - the safest sleeping position for a baby (swaddled or not) is on their back. Use a thin muslin or thin cot sheet, and don’t use any other bedding over a swaddled baby as this could cause them to overheat. Please do not use blankets to swaddle your baby. Ensure your baby is not overdressed under the swaddle and has their head uncovered. For further safety advice please visit the Lullaby Trust. Thank you.

Hello @skywalkersweetie, thank you for your question. Sleep training young children teaches them how to fall asleep on their own so they can sleep through the night. There are many different techniques you can try. While some children will learn to sleep through the night in just 2-3 nights, do expect this to take a little longer between 1-3 weeks with some days being better than others. Consistency will pay off in the end. NHS professionals recommend trying the chair method. Please call your local health visitor team and they will be able to support you.

Hi @Firebrickblue, thank you for your question. NHS guidelines suggest starting to introduce a bedtime routine from around 3 months old. Thinking about routines early will support you and your baby’s sleep journey. Thinking of day-to-day activities and bringing in structure and consistency will help in the long run. Your baby may be awake more at night than through the day in the first few months, this is very normal and due to their tiny tummies. They require feeding regularly to start to aid their brain development and growth. Be guided by your baby, and responsive feeding is recommended. Please speak to your local health visitor for more information. Thanks, Claire.

Hello @jacqui5366, thanks for your question. Lullaby Trust recommends you keep your baby in your room for 6 months to lower the risk of SIDS. After this period a baby can be moved to their own nursery and room. For babies aged 6 months to a year, night feeds may no longer be required, and some babies will sleep for up to 12 hours at night. Remember though, teething discomfort or hunger may still wake some babies during the night at this stage. Keeping to a similar bedtime routine will aid sleep. Too much excitement and stimulation just before bedtime can hinder their sleep routine. Spend some time winding down and doing some calmer activities, like reading. Thanks, Claire.

Hi @bravotango. Many 5-month-old babies are still waking 1 to 3 times to eat at night and bedtimes are typically between 6:00 and 8:00 PM. Some experts state the right age for sleep training is usually around 4 to 6 months old. Try to have your baby spend time in the cot during the day, this will familiarise your baby with this space. White noise is very popular and helps a baby to self-soothe when they wake. Have a look at the different sleep techniques out there. Your baby will be 6 months old soon and this is when you can transition them from your room. This may help them learn to self-soothe. Please call your health visitor and they can support your journey. Thank you. Claire.