AIBU to think Masterchef is just crap now?

[PortofinoLovesPancakes]

So this Masterchef malarkey! It used to be a relaxed hour of watching people cooking poncey food, but they were only there just so Lloyd Grossman could validate their opinion that they were really super. At least you got to watch what they were doing.

Now everyone wants to open a restaurant!
Go to fecking catering college then, don't waste 6 years on a PhD in Genetics! Years of hard study, when apparently your REAL ambition is to open a Gastropub in Slough.....

I'm not even going to bother with this now Masterchef Australia is on. It has a much better format and more interesting contestants and they actually do more cooking - plus there are the master classes so they don't act like they know everything.

must admit I only watch for JT

It has so changed from the last series - they have stopped shouting - someone obviously took note of all the impressionists

DH's favourite game is to work out what your 'Masterchef tagline' would be - you know - "single mother of two X" or "devoted dad Y" or "Yorkshire Student Z"

...go on then, what would yours be? Once you have it you are stuck with it for the whole series, mind you!

why every single episode this series did somebody make fecking scallops with pea puree and black pudding??????????
I have never eaten a scallop in my life... am i missing something?
In fact the closest I have come to a scallop is a scallop shell with a plastic mermaid stuck in it to make a novelty ashtray gift from torquay

""I'm wondering what this years 'ingredient du series' will be.""

I think I have the answer to that this year's winner is : {drum beat} black pudding!

I just HATE the way the judges hold they fork to taste the food! It looks like they are trying to fill a barn with big forks of hay rather than taste food!

humpty - scallops are gorgeous. We're v cheap and buy a bag of fozen queenie scallops from farmfoods asda for about a fiver.

Am I alone it wanting to smack John every time he clacks a spoon off his sodding teeth?

Play the Iklboo Masterchef drinking game to make it more fun. Every time someone says

'open my own bistro'
'open a cookery school for kids'
'fusion'
'with a twist'
'chocolate fondant'

you have a swally of your tipple of choice. Bet you won't remember who won the next day

can I add
'cooking is my life' to the list?

didn't you love it when that 60's style girl last night was explaining her menu and she says
"blah, blah, blah and I'll dress it up with some carrots and asparagus on the side"
John and Gregg looked at her like she had committed the original sin by not using words like garnished etc...
They were way harsh on her too, saying the strawberry she put on her pudding didn't go with it. What about all those poncey chefs who decorate their plates with bits of star fruit and those things that look like grapes but they're orange with leaves on them? Hello, did you ever eat that stuff, it tastes like shit mostly, it's just to make it look flashy... like john torrode never did that? Bullshit!!
Still gonna watch it, off to check tv guide

I felt very sorry for the young woman who sounded a bit depressed and said Masterchef had been the best day of her entire life.

totally gorionine she sounded really low, poor woman

yes, anoooooooooother scallop pea black pudd tower humpty. gah! they do look great and I love a scallop but didn't any of this year's contestants see last years series??? loved Stacey the 60s girl although did nearly spray soup across the living room when she said her cooking idol was Fanny Craddock! gawd bless her.

I thought that 60's Stacey was gorgeous!!

Place your bets for next episode....

My money on
-- more scallops with fecking black pudding...

The other thing that makes me is when some poor lad called Darren from Blackburn or similar who is actually a painter and decorator and has probably taken a lot of guts to go on the programme, tries their best but is totally out of their depth with the ingredients that they give them and then gets beaten back to reality, poor guys!!

I'd like to see that Gregg invent a dish from nothing in 50 minutes using some of those obscure ingredients like rabbit, sweet potatos, strawberries, soy sauce and spaghetti hoops

you should pitch that idea to "comic relief" humpty ... Gregg, John and all those fecking cricics who come on and blow holes in the food ... although must admit have become strangely attached to Kate Spicer since she's upped her wardrobe game.

will write to bbc straight away to suggest it!!
In the style of ready steady cook you have 20 minutes to make a delicious meal from the following ingredients....

1. a bag of iceland frozen beef mince
2. a tin of builders breakfast in a tin of beans thing
3. an arctic roll
4. asparagus
5. a mango

Or for a gormet bag...

1. a frozen chicken kiev
2. black eye peas
3. raspberries
4. orange juice
5. marks and spencer luxury swiss roll

any other suggestions?

pmsl humpty

I'm shit at cooking but think liver and stilton should be involved somewhere.

Do it!

good call misswoowoo
Was thinking more along the lines of billy bear sausage and a mini babybel myself!!!

tee hee!

alas I must fly to pick up dd from nursery

i think they should ban the scallops/pea puree/black pudding combo, I'm thoroughly sick of seeing it

WHY do all these people want to open restaurants anyway, seems like my idea of hell

and quite right OP if they're that desperate to be a chef why don't they go and train to be one? harrumph.too much hard bloody work I suspect...

still can't stop myself from watching it though

Was rather repelled by the lady last night who said "I've pushed out a baby so now I'm going to produce a plate of food" or something like that.

Ooooh, no no no.

Beehive Fanny was fabulous though.

catissleepy you are right, it is bloody tiring. Me and dh have a tearoom and it's only open from may to september, but it was so exhausting, no joking, took from october till christmas to recover!!!

Ooo! Ooo! yes spenthen I was very at that women, nothing wrong with wanting to do something that is for "you" but perlease! what a thing to say.

at beehive fanny

Someone should have told Fanny a cat had fallen asleep on her bonce.

Has anyone mentioned the voiceover lady banging on about "these 3 exceptional cooks"

Well, by definition, they can't all be exceptional

I love floppy-haired chaotic guy too. His mum must be so proud of him. Hope he wins.

but you do all know that voice over lady is the very lovely India Knight don't you?!!! she of lovely things blog (and wonderful book "the shops")

velvety-voice voiceover lady

MissWooWoo Wrong India - it's India Fisher