Wednesday night, sending your child, aged 8 to boarding school, do tell me about it as i won't be able to watch!!!

[piratecat]

I couldn't even watch the trailer for it without wanting to weep!

if that is the choice the parent has made ...

I started to watch it but I had to turn it off. It's just too depressing and I want to give the parents and the staff a bloody good shake.

Fanjolina I can't imagine that changing schools every two years would be half as disruptive and difficult as the effect being sent to live away from one's parents would have on a child.

'The mums may well be MNetters.'

I hope they are. And they read about what wastes of space they are.

And how their own children want to forget about them, because you know, if you have parents willing to do that to you age 8, it probably is the best thing for you to forget them.

Oh good, now she is so thoroughly detached from her mum she can stay at school.

letthereberock - you dont think secure friendships can in someway replace the parenting bond?

the boarding school system does buy them an automatic right to run the whole world (in their opinion)

McDreamy, like others said, why can't the mother stay somewhere with the dcs and the father comes home when he can? That would give the dcs stability they need.

Well, then, McDreamy, the couple buys or rents a house in one place, and dad goes away to work and kids and Mum stay in one place.

Sorted.

But guess it's easier long-term for these so-called parents to palm off their own children.

That's the thing: you do forget about your parents in order to survive and, mostly, that continues into adulthood.

it is a cultural thing imo
i try not to condemn other cultures

If someone did this to a dog we'd all be saying they should never had the dog in the first place and it should be rehomed....

i agree, i think they make strong friendships , they have to, to replace parents.

I haven't read the tread as I am about to start watching it on +1, but am fascinated as one of the mums at DDs school is married to a housemaster and they are sort of a pastoral package deal IYSWIM

No I don't. I don't think friendships however close are any substitute for a parental relationship. They are two very different relationships and I know which I think is far more important.

I hope my dp isn't watching this. He was sent away at 7 and the detrimental effect it's had on him is all too obvious.

I think of them as a very unnatural and very inappropriate enviroment for the majority of children. And I hate this culture of secrecy and the stiff upper lip attitude that often seems to be the norm.

Yes that is an option but that's hard too - I guess as a family you have to choose the option that is right for you. Boarding and changing schools every 2 years was not right for us.

I'm trying to work out why they sent them in the first place - April because her father is military; Lottie because her father enjoyed boarding; twins? Why did the twins go?

Oh, it's definitely cultural. In the US and Canadian militaries you can be posted clear across the country (ie, 4 hours flight away or more) and kids do not go to boarding school aged 8. Lots go in high school but aged 15 or so! YOu'd think that here, with smaller distances to cover, a better solution could be found.

you end up having better relationships with your friends than your parents (and siblings) and that also stays with you in adulthood

My dh is away for up to 6 months at a time then home on leave for around 3. I stay put at home and look after ds.

How odd.

what did the blonde mum actually do with her life apart from walk the dog and do the pub quiz?

Seemed to me that it was her husband calling the shots and she (the wife) is completely abandoned with no life.

I've just been reminded of this article in Guardian Family (yes, I know) last week. It starts off looking at the relatively high rate of depression in elderly people who were wartime evacuees, and comes to these conclusions:

"Other studies indicate that extended or ­repeated early separation from one's mother, such as having to spend time in hospital, can be a cause of adult borderline personality disorder ? having a febrile, self-absorbed, unrealistic personality. The separation remained significant even after other key factors were taken into account.

"An interesting side issue is that, taken together, these studies suggest that being sent to boarding school very early in life is harmful ? the hardest evidence I have seen. In older generations, while only a small proportion came from families that could afford private education, for those who could, it was common to be sent at age five.

"Thankfully, boarding that young is much less common among the 7% of privately educated ­children today ? but it still goes on. If you have any friends considering it, you might want to make them aware of this evidence (I can email summaries to those who want them ? contact me through my website below)."

So what does that fecking mother do all day now they are at boarding school!!! I am in shock! It leaves a void...no shit sherlock

LetThereBeRock - I don't know. I am seriously worried about DD's changing schools every two years. I would not send DD's boarding at aged eight, but we are considering it as an option from age 11. Not sure what we'll do. With any luck DH will have had enough of the forces and we'll be out of it all and settled somewhere with a lovely local school.

'it is a cultural thing imo
i try not to condemn other cultures'

I have no problem with it. People condemn the American culture all the time.

Some cultures have a tradition of marrying young teenage girls, honour killing, revenge, or thieving.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Not on the same level, but farming your kids out age 8 I find wrong, too.