Wednesday night, sending your child, aged 8 to boarding school, do tell me about it as i won't be able to watch!!!

[piratecat]

I couldn't even watch the trailer for it without wanting to weep!

I remember that thread. I contributed to it as my mother and dh were both sent.

letthereberock

the parents if these girls at no time think they are 'harming' their young. They think they are doing the best for them. It is too young imo

a lot of parenting choices that other people make are not for me but i then that is their choice ....

i dont really buy the too many schools excuse, if you have the money to send your child to this kind of place you could get a tutor to home ed them, or send them to the crap local comp and have extra tuition. i really can't imagine any situation that would convince me to send my 8 yr old child away.

ha haaah
i wrote about this for the mn newsletter last week, i knew you'd all be

it was just absolutely disturbing to the bones of me when the mother withdrew contact from her daughter...

I really wanted to go to boarding school as a child, but then I spent far too much time reading Enid Blyton books. St Clare's and Malory Towers!

MollieO I would even argue that 11-13 is too young. I remember really needing my mum at that age and being terrified of anything happening to her. And I wasn't a wimp, I'm actually quite tough and resilient about most things, but I do remember loving my mum to bits and needing the stability of a home life throughout my teens.

They don't Nancy - the fees are subsidised, not sure by how much but I believe it's significant and it's only for children that board.

i would send my dcs if they wanted to - only as mid to late teens though

i would have LOVED it

Am i right in assuming it is mainly officers' children who go to boarding school, whilst the other ranks (as they used to be called, am may be using old fashioned language because i am quite old....)tend to take their children with them on their postings?

Presumably then, the likes of April's mother spend their time amusing themselves helping out at playgroups etc for the children on the army bases, when they could, in fact, be having their own children at home.

The simple fact is they want to send their children to boarding school because it is the 'done thing'. They don't have much sympathy from me, but their children do. They have no choice.

I think you're right Bolter. It so depends on the child. I would consider it at secondary age as I have no support and am a single parent. At the moment the only choices I can see when ds gets to secondary school age is to give up work or work part time and claim benefits or carry on working full time and send ds weekly boarding which means he'd spend Mon to Thurs sleeping at school and home for the weekends.

I would have loved to go to boarding school - it was used as a threat by my parents when I took the 11+ (I tried to fail!).

Have to agree with the majority of posters here. I have been a navy wife for 10 years. DH has been on boats, sometimes away for months at a time, and has also been based at the absolute other end of the country for a year. It never even crossed my mind to follow him about the place!! I had my own job and then my babies. Yes, sometimes it's not easy to be apart- especially when I was pregnant, or at Christmas. He even missed dd2's christening, but that, to me, is life as a navy wife. The kids, I feel, adjust better to not seeing their dad for some periods- we try to do some weekends/ occasional flying visit- than they would to do without either of us! To me (and this is just MY opinion!), when the dad is not in a 9-5 home-every-night job, the kids need the stability of their mum even more. DH and I are adults- we can manage without each other, and I'm confident enough in our relationship to know that it can withstand the seperation.

I understand that different people feel differently, but I don't get this if-you-are-military-family-it's-a-necessity. Yeah, if you are BOTH military on different postings, it is! Otherwise it is a choice. DH can go all over the world, and my dc will stay at their local primary and with me. OK, they do miss their dad, but I know loads of fathers who work such long hours that they hardly see their kids anyway- it's not so different. We still feel like a family.

Agree loungelizrad, I had a 'discusson' recently with an old Harrovian about his obsession with sending his some to boarding school - no reason other that it was the done thing. Blind stupidity IMVHO.

son not some

My father was a high ranking officer and only one of my friends went,it really wasn't that common back then with any rank as I recall. Don't know if things have changed.

I really don't know why they focused on forces kids, maybe to make the parents more likeable perhaps.

We are military and made the decision to buy and stay in one place, if DH is posted again he will come home at weekends.
Let's face it how much do many kids see of their dads in the week anyway, if he's commuting, they are going to clubs etc?

Yes it's tough on mum holding it together and dad being away, but I know I never really noticed my dad not being there when he worked away every week.

My dear friend was sent away at FIVE in the early seventies. He does not have a relationship with his parents. His mother filled her 'void' (I think that's was April's mum's word) with booze and vitriol.

Whoops, I thought it was a nurse that April was attached to, dunno why.... thanks for correcting me.

I'm with others who said that they would choose to live with their DCs before DH/DP, surely most mothers would, especially with such young children.

My DD, 12, is away on a school trip to Switzerland this week, and I've missed her like mad and can't wait for her to come home tomorrow. It would be the same feeling if my DS was away obviously. On the odd occasion that DP is away, I don't really think about him much tbh.

I see no one has criticised the Weaselys....are they immune?

Did anyone hear Lottie - quite a character to be sure - when April was crying and Lottie was listing words that should be 'banished' (miss you / Mummy / crying etc), and the nurse told April that she had said a banished word, Lottie said straight away 'smack her!'.

Are the Weasleys the twins' parents? They don't seem to feature much in the programme do they?

Harry Potter?

I found the whole programme quite disturbing. They are institutionalising children and convincing themselves, and the children, that everything's OK. And it plainly isn't, it's an artificial situation and no one speaks the truth.

In my part of the country, some children have to board at school during the week because they live too far away. Admittedly they are usually secondary school age, but an 11 year old girl still needs her mum and you can't tell me that they have limited contact with their parents during the week or that they really suffer after a weekend spent at home (although I admit I have no direct experience). The whole approach of this school seemed to be to condition children to be left at the school for long periods of time, which is completely wrong for a child that young, IMHO.

i do think it'd be easier for the twins, because at least they'd have the other.

blu, i was so shocked that the student lass went along with that 'banned words' thing. she seemed nice, but so weirdly detached, and yet saying that she hadn't forgiven her own parents for sending her so boarding school.

Mr Weasley, bless him, had a terrible nervous tic. They were completely different to the other parents. They had regional accents!
Why did they send the twins, was there a specific reason?

Yes, Lottie's delightful interludes!! How proud her parents must be. 8 year old girls can be pretty vile to each other at the best of times. Can't imagine it at bedtime after lights out etc in reality.

i did not warm to lottie.