Flippin Heck - just who does Super Nanny think she f^&king is?

[LadyBlaBlah]

I am rubber necking and watching.

And I heard her say to some parents who are at desperation point with a child who would not eat, and hence basically force feeding her, that "she had never, in her 20 years of childcare, seen such a thing". That is just cruel. The mother is trying to feed her child, because she has already been hospitalised with dehydration because she has not eaten. She is a mother FFS, we need our children to eat. She is not being abusive like she made out. What a f'ing bitch.

She is really getting on my tits.

Did anyone notice that on next week's show, there's a little girl amd mum who've already been on another prog. about mums and girls on the pageant circuit.
It's funny how for the purposes of the Supernanny programme, they've decided to pose the child as a spoilt brat. In the other programme they had the mum as a pushy religious nut and the child very reluctantly doing the pageant thing.

It's just entertainment. Don't take these freak shows at face value.

But it is her fault, therefore the blame is on her. Nothing else has worked, the soft talking approach h no doubt used by her GP, maybe the hospital when she was admitted didn't spell it out to the mother..

It needs to stop, no two ways about it, so maybe the hard hitting kick up the arse from Jo was what was needed!

Did it work....yes! So there you have it, proven method works, sort the parent out, child will follow!

agreed!

like I said, softly softly approach is bollocks if nothing else has working. Sometimes people literally need a kick up the arse!

"Or do you force feed your child and perhaps what she said has touched a nerve?"

"OP is clearly on the defensive. Christ, if she thinks Supernanny was rude maybe she should camp out in AIBU"

Riiiiiiiiighto, so because I think that the correct and professional way to tackle family problems such as these is not be to be rude, patronising, smug, judgmental and aggressive, I must force feed my children.

And the fact you are all accepting that using children as pawns for entertainment is acceptable because there is a demand is a lame argument. There is a demand for all sorts of freakish things (I don't need to spell it out) but it does not mean we must fulfill that demand. That is what being part of a responsible society is.

Stupid cow of a mother needed someone to kick her up the arse - wouldn't even listen to her own husband and was setting the child up for a lifetime of physical and psychological problems.

force feeding IS abuse in my book

Kirons issues were not psychological - she had learned that by not eating meals and by using the speech of a 15 month old she would given sweets etc.

Supernanny is qualified because all she has done for the last 20 years is LIVE WITH children and their families so does understand what its like to have a child.

This softly softly approach is bollocks with some people when they clearly need a slap in the face.

It was nice to see her help some older children too and show other parents (myself included!) that simply spending time with yor child re-enforces (sp?) the fact that you love them.

"This softly softly approach is bollocks with some people when they clearly need a slap in the face"

I give up

a verbal slap in the face, not a physical one

How is it smug or patronising to point out to parents who have requested advice that their current tactics are not working and abusive?
The parents thought they were doing something wrong, had that thought validated and then worked towards a solution.
It seems unfortunate that the only way for this family to solve their problems was to have it televised, but that is another argument and not one initially addressed in the OP.

LadyBlaBlah - how would you have worded it/spoken to her?

Lady as a mother of a very fussy eater I have never,would never force feed. It is abuse (and dangerous to boot) pure and simple, holding a screaming child down,shoving anything into her mouth and forcing her to eat it was the most awful thing on TV I've seen in a long time.

I thought the show was fantastic. Mums of fussy children are often desperate(I've been there). I've always handled my child exactly as they suggested on the show and he eats a wide healthy diet. However many nights he goes to bed hungry,the show gave me confidence that what I'm doing IS right.

The footage of the girl and her mother in the park was lovely,it made me cry. The mother had hit rock bottom.She needed somebody to give her a virtual shake and what she got was her daughter back and the lovely relationship they obviously share. Not only did Jo do a fantastic job with this family but she will have helped many other parents who will be shocked out of even trying force feeding and will have a good action plan to follow.

The mother asked for help,she was desperate and I applaud her for doing a very brave thing. I thought she was lovely by the way just very misguided. She was sooo young and as she said she'd been let down by health professionals. Jo simply did what any decent health visitor should have done but didn't.

Well she is qualified as a nanny but not a psychologist so her remit is limited IMHO. It DID work last night but interestingly from a psychologists point of view, the other case of the young girl with low self-esteem threw up some clear issues which weren't dealt with.

Here was a mum and daughter's relationship impinged on by a new step-father and sibling. It wasn't just about pressure to look nice, I expect there was a fair bit of adaption from the young girl to her new family and a feeling of 'losing her mummy'. All a bit more complex than Jo suggested.

I like Tania. She is a family psychologist and takes a wider view, often looking at the background rather than the purely presenting problems. Not always dramatic telly though.

Ah but, her solution was to get more Mum and daughter time which solves the problem of adaption as you suggest. I thought she should be taking away the magazines from the girl and getting her another hobby. I was surprised at the solution Jo offered. But it seemed to work as she was tackling the problem you saw as a psychologist.
So I think you and Jo would have solved the girls problem in a similar way - I'd have screwed it right up!!!

I think she make a good judgement in terms of the solution with the girl and her mother and it was spot on. Just thought that it was a bit simplistic to suggest it was all down to media pressure etc. It was clear there were other issues going on.

It's all a bit 'bit sized chunks' when I think viewers might appreciate a bit more analysis sometimes.

simplistic, unrealistic. agree with the guardian

www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2010/feb/10/jo-frost-extreme-parental-guidance-i- hate-mum

have not had time cannot be bothered to read posts since my last one, so apologies if this has been posted.

night night

The soft approach does not always work. Neither does a stern approach always work. That is where judgement of the family and situation comes in. You are not in a place to judge that OP so it is hypocritical to question Jo Frost's approach and qualifications from your armchair.

Do you think that when social workers witness abusive parenting they take a soft approach? Do you think the sensitivities of parents are more important than the needs of the child?

Many good parents parenting ineffectively are doing so not only because they need additional skills and strategies to help them but also because everything has become so muddied under the strain of difficult behaviour. In this situation, clear, direct and firm advice and support is very necessary and almost always greatfully received.

I would also add that mental health practitioners, whilst highly skilled, are often so far removed from parental experience that they fail to give parents the sense of support that can sometimes be achieved from a 'lay-person' with regular and varied experience of children in a home setting. I have heard many complaints, for example, of the CAMHS service. On the surface this seems bizarre because the advice is excellent, the system professional and the staff qualified and knowledgeable. However, the service is run by psychs and psychs do not always relate to parents in the way that a mother or father, teacher or supernanny might and so the service fails (sometimes).

i think supernanny is really nice, she doesn't belittle the mums at all she's just firm with her advice but she is really lovely. the mum didnt seem bothered about how she spoke, she got good results from it, so why are you all bothered on her behalf when she wasnt?

I can't help but think back to the Tanya Byron programmes - like house of tiny tearaways. She was a lot more gentle than Jo Frost, IS completly qualified and NEVER spoke to parents in the way she does. As far as I'm aware Jo Frost is a nanny but has no child psychology or family therapy qualifications and has been wandering into some complex areas recently - as a previous poster put believeing her own hype.

Tanya Byron also refused to do more shows as she was asked to deal with more extreme behaviour and felt that it wouldn't be apropriate.