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OH MY GOD - SUPERNANNY NOW!!!!

74 replies

crunchie · 26/04/2005 21:14

The poor poor parents, Often it looks like the parents have totally caused the problem but here the mothr really thinks her little girl doesn't like her She won't even look at her at times

OP posts:
nutcracker · 26/04/2005 21:50

Yes i've threatened to take them without shoes when they refuse to put them on and that usually works too

Lonelymum · 26/04/2005 21:51

I have threatened it too, but it has never actually come to that. That is why I think it is great that he actually did it: she will surely think twice next time. Though why did they say it will be hours before she is at school? I would have taken the clothes and left her in the school to get dressed.

hatsoff · 26/04/2005 21:51

does anyone else think it's all very easy for Jo Jo to sit back and watch and say what they're doing wrong but firstly she doesn't have to cope with it all day every day and secondly they're not her kids. Do you think she realises how emotionally different and difficult it is to cope with behaviour when they're your own?

Lonelymum · 26/04/2005 21:53

You are emotionally involved with your children, and she isn't, but I don't think that means she is giving bad advice. She is the voice of reason.

Gobbledigook · 26/04/2005 21:54

I'm with you hatsoff.

I saw a bit earlier with the boy in the 'cool down area' throwing all the wellies out and the coats and all the stuff off the walls - I'd have lost it big time by then

lou33 · 26/04/2005 21:55

have even told ds1 that i will put him in a dress of dd2's for school if he refuses to dress himself in time. That works too.

Gobbledigook · 26/04/2005 21:56

Agree though it can be good to get advice from someone watching from the outside because I think it's the emotional involvement we have that sometimes leads us to make the wrong decisions about how to handle things.

nutcracker · 26/04/2005 21:56

It is hard to ignore them when they are having a tantrum like that but it does work.

Took me a long time to realise that with dd2, but the less attention i pay her when she has a tantrum, the quicker it is over.

hatsoff · 26/04/2005 22:04

I agree lonelymum - I think her advice is spot on, but I'm just not sure that she really realises how hard it is to implement. I didn't see the beginning but I thought tonight's was interesting coz they were basically a decent, nice couple, trying their hardest but being driven totally round the bend. I think it just shows how bloody hard this lark is.

hatsoff · 26/04/2005 22:06

I also think it's useful to watch - a bit like outside advice by proxy, watching someone else make your own mistakes, they become so much more obvious - as do the answers

miggy · 26/04/2005 22:27

Sorry but I dont think they were decent, nice parents. Where can a 4 yr old with no older siblings learn that language and how to use it like that. That Dad had a really short fuse imho, fgs he nearly shut the childs fingers in the door when fighting with him and almost whacked his head on the wall when he threw him onto the beanbag with one arm and one leg. Just dont believe children can becoming that aggressive and unaffectionate with involved reasonable parenting. It wasnt exactly difficult for the mum to get affection from the daughter-ie pay some individual attention to her and give her some love to get a bit back.
Think we would all lose it a bit faced with those tantrums and that swearing but it shouldnt have got that bad-should it?

sparklymieow · 26/04/2005 22:30

I was crying... poor parents, felt for the mum when she said that Nicole had never said 'I love you mummy' and when she did say it I nearly brust into tears... DH even had to walk out of the room, because it touched him too.

hunkermunker · 26/04/2005 22:30

It was "you fck", "you fcking hell" and "you f*cker"

And I think it was really sad that they didn't seem to know much about affection, but lots about shutting their children out (or in!) - and "I'll f*cking kill him" from the dad was very telling, I think

swiperfox · 26/04/2005 22:40

I don't understand how you can go 4 years with never hearing your child tell you that she loves you.

Me and dd must say it to each other about 10 times a day!!!

sparklymieow · 26/04/2005 22:42

I sometimes dislike my Dd1 (have moaned many times on here about her behaviour) but we always say i love you when DH takes her to school, when I pick her up, when we are cuddling on sofa, and when I have read her bedtime stoy and am tucking her into bed, as well as many times in between.

hatsoff · 26/04/2005 22:51

maybe I didn't see enough of the beginning. But I am always conscious that these things are heavily edited for maximum impact. I don;t know if he had a short fuse or not - I don't think we saw enough of what happened prior to him saying what he said. He did say it under his breath having removed himself from the situation. I've got my moments that I'm not proud of and I think if I shared my home with a camera crew for a week they could pretty much present my parenting skills however they chose. They'd have enough footage to make me mother from hell or earth mother angel supreme. Admittedly they wouldn't have footage of dds telling me to fuck off or call me a fucker though.

tiktok · 27/04/2005 09:35

I think Jo's lack of emotional involvement with the children is her strength - she can stay calm and see what's happening a lot easier that way. She is not hard hearted though - she expressed sadness for the parents to their faces last night.

I didn't like the way the dad resisted Jo's perfectly sensible ideas. He said at one point he hated to admit it, but they worked. And he said he didn't 'have time' to keep putting the kid back into the Cool Down area. Good for Jo telling him he had to find time. She also reminded them they were the grown ups. I have used the breathing technique she taught them to control my temper with my kids....losing it never, ever helps the sitiuation, and honestly, I think we parents have to take responsibility for our actions. If we can't keep our tempers, how can we possibly ask young children to control their aggression?

I thought the supermarket magnetic board idea was great. It really engaged the children.

ssd · 27/04/2005 09:50

Have to agree with miggy's earlier post re; the parents.

Children learn swearing from the parents, also the overly aggressive behavour.

And the child won't say I love you mummy unless she has heard it plenty times herself.

I'm no great parent, but I know when I'm tired and short fused the kids react and are short with me.

nutcracker · 27/04/2005 09:50

I do agree that they must have learnt that behaviour from somewhere and as they had no elder siblings, it must have been from mom and dad.

I missed the firat half so didn't hear all about the bad mother daughter relationship, but from what you have said it sounds awful.

Mind you though some kids just aren't openly affectionate. Dd1 hardley ever says she loves anyone, and affection from her is very rare, you virtually have to rugby tackle her to get a hug. Although she does write soppy notes saying she loves me.

nutcracker · 27/04/2005 09:51

I do tell her i love her though.

FLUM · 27/04/2005 09:56

My mum and I watched it open mouthed in horror!

nothing worse than words like that coming from a child.

I think it is easy to see JoJos methods working but she does not come at the problem with all the emotions the parents have. Soooooo much easier for her.

Also they were a little older than the average parent so perhaps more tiring for them so harder to carry out long term discipline.

My mum says my brother was like that and it was awful and felt she didn't cope well with it. My dad didn't back her up. Thats why they didn't have any more kids.

I am TERRIFIED of my gorgeous little 'good girl' turning into that!

Tinker · 27/04/2005 09:56

Agree with miggy on this. At first was upset for teh mother but then, after watching the father, and the way he kept standing over teh kids wehn he'd put them in teh cool down area, made me think he was the teacher of teh aggression. Kept shouting "Stand back", "Move away" at teh tv. There was more to this, I think.

Gobbledigook · 27/04/2005 10:00

Children also learn words from other children at nursery because my ds1 has come out with things he's certainly never heard here. Not horrendous swear words but he's said things like 'you're a big poo poo' and that's not come from CBeebies or me!!

jabberwocky · 27/04/2005 10:02

Didn't catch this episode but interesting problem has come up with ds. A friend came over and ds was doing something - I don't even remember - and she said to him "What's the fuss?" Well, ds like to repeat everything people say now and you know what this could sound like to some people. I'd like to get him to stop saying it, without making a big deal out of it or else he will catch on and then say it constantly ifykwim. HElp!

Tinker · 27/04/2005 10:05

Yeah but "What's theh fuss" wouldn't be screamed at you, Exorcist style, like these kids did to their parents. . I'd just sat "Whats's the fuss? The fuss is...". Well, taht's teh theory but I'm a very imperfect parent.