Born With Two Mothers

[Thomcat]

Looks like it's going to be really good.
I saw one of the lead actresses, forgot her name, on Richard & Judy today. Looks fab. 4 actors and everyone else they use, lawyers doctors etc are real lawyers, doctors etc. There is an outline but a lot is unscripted and made like a documentary/fly on wall.
One of the couples (2 of the 4 actual actors) are told that someone will ring the doorbell at x timne but they don't know what they will be told so. Graet idea and gripping storyline.

2 couples, one white, one black, both going through IVF. Black womans baby is implanted in white woman.

That's interesting, emma. B/c like Maman, if I knew it wasn't biologically mine I wouldn't want to keep it. I guess it varies by person. I can hardly remember the birth of my daughter at all, I was in such pain and so tired. It now seems very short compared to the rest of her life and development.

I think the judge made the right decision - but imagine how many other mix-ups might have happened - this one only came to light because of the skin colour issue.

It's not the birth for me, it's the whole breastfeeding/bonding thing that takes place afterwards. If she had given him up straight after the birth, maybe it wouldn't have been so bad. But I can understand that she wouldn't want to do that, that she wouldn't want to let go of her dream. But after ten months the bond is so, so strong...
God, makes me well up again

I think it depends. With dd it took me about 6 weeks to bond. With ds it was instant, his birth was so powerful I would have killed rather than give him to anyone

I wept buckets but I think the right decision was made in the interests of the child.

Horrific situation though.

I think the right decision was made, but for the wrong reasons. It's not about who would be the better parents, nor about colour, but about whose child Joe is. I think that the legal process should have been begun as soon as the possible error was realised, so that the decision could have been made and the child handed over much much sooner. The delay - nearly a year - was appalling and traumatic for everyone.

fantastic programme. Amazing acting and what a truly hideous situation. Can't imagine how the white woman would carry on after having Joe taken away although i do think that it was the right decision.

I agree with PrettyCandles : I don't understand why the legal process is so slow there...things could have been sorted out in less than 3 months, which would have been less traumatic for Joe. Isn't there emergency procedures in the UK ?

Thank God for the Bridges family, the birth family was NOT black. Their argument would have gone out the window. Though i completely agree that the baby should have been given back to the biological or genetic parents. It might have been a totally different outcome though.

The real case on which this programme was based (I believe) was one where the birth mother's egg was mistakenly fertilised with the sperm of the husband of another couple. (or vice versa, can't remember exactly) Anyway the resulting baby was 50% one couple's and 50% the other's. Can't remember the outcome of the case. (Can't remember much at all, can I? )

I thought the Judge made the right decision and the only one he could make in the circumstances. Joe was the black couple's baby - a mistake had been made and their baby, their embryo had been implanted into the white woman. It was the only way, albeit imperfect, they could attempt to put right the mistake that had been made. I felt desperately sad for the white woman but somewhere, deep down, she must have known that Joe was not truly hers and her dh's.

It was tragic that it all took so long - 10 months of bonding with a baby, of him being your son, and then having to give him up: doesn't bear thinking about. And also tragic for the genetic parents who missed that first crucial and irreplaceable ten months of their son's life.

I somehow warmed less to the white couple - particularly when he was born and she refused a DNA test - almost as if she was in denial and he could be theirs.

I thought the same thing as Saadia - these cases (there have been several, I believe, IRL) have only come to light because it has been obvious when the baby is born that there has been a mix-up. Wonder how often it happens and no-one realises?

Also - call me cynical - couldn't help wondeing if the IVF technician in this scenario would have spoken up if he'd realised that he'd accidentally implanted a white couple's embryo into another white couple.

Fascinating programme though.

Dh, with typical male problem-solving logic, said "shame she didn't have twins - they could have had one each then."

wordsmith -- if I am thinking of same case as you, the woman who gave birth (it was her egg) had custody of the twins and the family that the sperm came from had visiting rights...

I thought that case was so much more complicated than this one -- no as clear cut... as if anything involving these issues could be

I don't know if I agree with the decision, but I did think that would Joe have existed at all if the embryo had been implanted correctly? Not saying decision was right just it is a point that was never made.

This really was hard going. Had both me and dp in tears and we went straight in to look at ds as soon as it was finished.
I felt the right decision was made with respect to the longer term issues for Joe but just how you can carry, give birth and bond with a baby and then be made to give him up... doesn't bear thinking about. Still upsetting me now.

I wonder what the white couple would feel if they went on to have their "own" baby in the future. Would little "black" baby be put by the wayside? it was the right decision by the judge i think. Painful, but right. If you can make a right out of the wrong committed against both couples that is.

That's what made it so hard - they were both unlikely to go on and have any further children.

Ks I was beginning tothionk Iwas the only one who felt like that. I really really really would have left the country.

hopefully before lol!

Seriosuly to me the bonding (with ds anyway) began before and during the birth process. I can not comprehend how anyone could give birththen give their child up. Iknow surrogates do that but I think theyhave to be very special people. I couldn't do it.

beansprout you just typed my words. Really I was sitting at home by myself balling, feeling incredibly emotional and still am about how awful a situation it was.

Deegward, I thought that, as well. Joe wouldn't have existed if it hadn't been for Mrs Bridges Presumably she could have terminated the pg, too, in the circs. What a nightmare situation, it's hard to contemplate.