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Original poster

Anyone watching mum, heroine and me?

96 replies

Pawslikepaddington · 23/10/2008 21:16

It's depressing me so much I may turn it off, but do you really think moving house can lead to your child becoming a heroine addict? It's giving me second thoughts about my life plans now!

OP posts:
strongmind · 24/10/2008 14:09

I can't believe u all think the mother is nice and poor mother and all that. How can she allow her daughter to keep on wasting herself with that waste of space of a boyfriend? Chane your dauther in the bedroom for 2 months with food and metadone and help her find an interest and a job so that she can start be responsible. Loose that looser of a boyfriend.. I don't think the mother is nice. I think she is just pathetic and crazy. Love? What love has to do with letting your daughter life get wasted? She is talking about doctors prescribing heroine. What? Did you utterly loose your brain in drugs too???? I think taxpayers have to pay enough for better causes like something you don't look for it like cancer. You have been unlucky, your child took the wrong path: you and her deal with it, not the rest of the nation.

notnowbernard · 24/10/2008 14:12

Erm...

You sound a bit like Dot Cotton... you know, when her and Pete locked Nasty Nick in the bedroom so he could go 'cold turkey'

If it were that easy (blah blah blah)

expatinscotland · 24/10/2008 14:15

'I can't believe u all think the mother is nice and poor mother and all that. How can she allow her daughter to keep on wasting herself with that waste of space of a boyfriend? Chane your dauther in the bedroom for 2 months with food and metadone and help her find an interest and a job so that she can start be responsible. Loose that looser of a boyfriend..'

Erm, the daughter is TWENTY-ONE and has been an addict for 9 years (on various substances).

Last I checked, it's illegal to falsely imprison an adult and in order to get methadone a user has to agree to it, you can't just feed someone methadone.

LOL, if she has an interest and a job she'll just magically have no desire to use heroin, one of the most physically addictive substances known to mankind.

slayerette · 24/10/2008 14:16

And if you had actually read the thread, strongmind, you'd see that a number of us did comment on the way in which the mother seemed to be enabling the daughter in her heroin habit.

And It's heroin, not heroine - she's not injecting an assortment of Disney Princesses into her veins! Sorry; the title of the thread has been annoying me

notnowbernard · 24/10/2008 14:21

I hope she makes a real go at rehab in SA, though... that this is her 'time'

I've met addicts who've had unsuccessful attempts at rehab 8, 9, 10 times. Then something just clicks, they can't go on anymore and it becomes their time to really get clean

I thought the deputy manager of the hostel spoke a lot of sense. About needing the losses in order to get the motivation to change

bamboostalks · 24/10/2008 14:28

I think that the mother is doing a brilliant job in appalling circumstances. Apart from cutting her off and losing all ties, what else can she do?

smallwhitecat · 24/10/2008 14:33

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dinny · 24/10/2008 14:33

me too, Slayerette

notnowbernard · 24/10/2008 14:34

Which would be the losses and consequences the deputy mgr was talking about...

slayerette · 24/10/2008 14:38

Exactly, smallwhitecat. I see your point, bamboostalks, but isn't there a middle ground? Could she not have stayed in touch with her daughter without giving her money for drugs, buying her duvet covers and tops and so on; essentially just allowing the daughter to feed off her like some sort of parasite?

smallwhitecat · 24/10/2008 14:42

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strongmind · 24/10/2008 14:42

I don't think her dauther would call the police and say "Help! my mum imprisoned me and i can not inject myself!" And then what? Would she take her to court? Beside if she get clean wouldn't be worth the risk to be reported to the police?

notnowbernard · 24/10/2008 14:45

To be frank, coming off heroin is the easy part

Staying off it is another matter entirely

People take drugs for so many reasons

But the grim reality is that life is so shit and scary without drugs that the alternative - a life of misery, prostitution, ill health, criminality, prison - is the better option (to an addict)

I mean, really, do you honestly think people enjoy being addicted to heroin?

expatinscotland · 24/10/2008 14:48

the state could take the mother to court, strong. because in addition to be illegal, it is a completely ineffective way to get someone on heroin to give up - the user has to really, really want to give it up because it is so staggeringly addictive.

if you watched the show, too, you'll have noted at the beginning that in fact both the boyfriend and the daughter had attempted to go 'cold turkey' in her parents' house.

it didn't work.

it's also dangerous, because acute heroin withdrawal can cause potentially fatal side effects without monitoring by healthcare professionals.

smallwhitecat · 24/10/2008 14:48

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strongmind · 24/10/2008 15:00

expatingscottland: of course she won't stop using heroin(not "heroine", because otherwise slayerette thinks about snowwhite...)with an interest or job.But being focused in something else in your life is a very important tool for rehabilitation.
And notnowbernard: cold turkey is one of the best way to kick addiction.Cold turkey+ job interests and love, real love that don't give you money to buy drugs.

expatinscotland · 24/10/2008 15:02

she has to want to stop using, strong. until then, nothing will work, but cold turkey especially and cold turkey by force especially.

if you understood ANYTHING about heroin addiction, you'd know that.

if it were as easy as just getting something to 'focus' on, we wouldn't have mothers who desperately loved tehir children, but couldn't keep them because they were unable to kick their heroin habit.

OneRainyDay · 24/10/2008 15:05

But snow white wasn't really a heroine?

strongmind · 24/10/2008 15:11

expatinscotland: the key is determination.
notnowbernard: everybody goes through shit at some stage in their life. But after a storm at least once in one's life is possible to c a rainbow

strongmind · 24/10/2008 15:14

She was a heroine for the dwarfs, onerainyday

expatinscotland · 24/10/2008 15:18

'expatinscotland: the key is determination.'

as i have tried to explain numerous times in response to your initial post, however, is that you cannot force determination on someone simply by 'chan'ing them up in a room, feeding them methadone and getting them a job.

it doesn't work that way. you can't get smoker to stop smoking long-term if they dn't want to, much less a junkie.

the user must want to stop using.

notnowbernard · 24/10/2008 15:21

notnowbernard: "cold turkey is one of the best ways to beat addiction"

No, it is NOT

In fact, it can be fatal (esp with alcohol)

Believe me, I do it for a living

strongmind · 24/10/2008 15:22

Well ex.escotland, it sound as you know lots. Anyway, i may sound a bit obtuse. But the thing is that that documentary made me angry. I couldn't watch this mother wathing her child go wasted. I just couldn't. Maybe cold turkey is not the answer but neither is to let your child sleep rough, begging etc

expatinscotland · 24/10/2008 15:23

i tried to explain that, too, notnow, but it's fallen on deaf ears.

expatinscotland · 24/10/2008 15:25

'Maybe cold turkey is not the answer but neither is to let your child sleep rough, begging etc '

Her child is an ADULT.

And what's the alternative? To be their banker for drugs? What if you don't have the money to fund their addiction?

It's already been pointed out that you cannot force an adult into rehab or to stop using and that, even if you could, it won't work because the user has to want to stop.

FWIW the mother mentioned that the daughter had been in and out of rehab for years.

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