Half Man - on BBCiPlayer from the 24th

[fundamentallyauthentic]

Anyone else looking forward to seeing this new show from the writer and star of Baby Reindeer that begins tomorrow?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/m002j18t/half-man?seriesId=trailers

The six episodes in the series will be dropped weekly from tomorrow morning at 6.00 on iPlayer and will be broadcast on BBC1 the following Tuesday at 22.40. I want to be clear that this thread is for people who won't be waiting to watch when it's broadcast. So, this is the spoiler thread, and it's OK to talk about what we've seen as soon as it's been shown on iPlayer!

Oh yes I noticed that too, and found it an odd comment!
& yes I felt there were lots of hints to Reuben's sexuality not being totally clear - all that groping he does of Niall in various episodes.

It did make me smile though that Niall’s best mate from the brothel was at the wedding 🤣

He does make many poor choices

And I didn't like him at points in the latter episodes, no

But Reuben and all his acts were so disgusting that that dominated it

And the fact that when Niall was younger everyone was shitty to him. And this weird thing where Niall still seemed to 'love' Reuben, if you can even call it that, I'm not sure you can, after all the things he's done to him, not least the sexual assaults.

And I don't really like the description of Niall as 'weak' but to me he didn't seem to have anyone on his side when he was really young. It depicted his mum and stepmum as not really being very supportive to him when he was a teenager and in his younger years which must have shaped him. And obviously the people at school weren't nice him to say the least. So that would have shaped him.

He was quite a good character 😊

Yes I think most of the main characters made poor choices.
His mum wasn't great by any means, but she also had her own struggles, and I do think she tried to support him when he first had his struggles as an adult.
I suppose the question raised is at what point do adults become responsible for their own choices, rather than blaming it on their upbringing? I think it was the Reuben character (or maybe Niall in reference to Reuben?) who mentioned 'breaking the cycle'.

Yes, it was Mona who said that Ruben was desperate to have a child so he could break the cycle, and went on to say it was in reference to Ruben wanting to love a child because of how badly his own father had treated him (she said this during a conversation with Niall).

I think when they had the episode that showed Ruben working with the children at the volunteer centre we were meant to see there how desperately Ruben wanted to be able to form positive relationships with children (and he did genuinely seem to have a positive bond with them). I think it was during this episode that it was first alluded to that Ruben had been sexually abused by his own father.

Ah yes, and Reuben being so good with children was another way that it highlighted how poor choices led to bad outcomes, eg Reuben could have been a proper family man and continued in his mentoring work with kids if it wasn't for letting his anger get the better of him.

Well it was supposed to make us think that?

Cos I just didn't believe that

Well it was supposed to make us think that?

Cos I just didn't believe that

Believe what?

I mean that I didn't believe Reuben could have been a good family man and continued in his mentoring work with kids etc

(Was continuing on from the post before, that @mumuseli said)

Oh right….. absolutely!

When Niall told Ruben that Ava was pregnant and Ruben started going on about how he was going to be an uncle, I thought Niall looked terrified at the thought of Ruben being around his child! (rightly so).

And then when Mona was back on the scene after having Baird and was telling Niall she was going to get back with Ruben as Baird needed a “male role model” in his life (and apparently she didn’t think Niall could fulfil that role), I was thinking WTF?!

Why would anyone want a man like Ruben around their child, especially as a male role model?!

I’d be doing everything in my power to keep him a million miles away from any child!

Exactly!!

There were some really weird opinions about Reuben in the programme I swear

He was a total psychopath. The only person who seemed able to see this was Niall in the first half of episode 1.

Sadly….he then got ‘hooked’ on Ruben’s bad boy charm, got reeled in and couldn’t escape despite all the horrors that Ruben put him through. You see and hear it all the time though dont you, victims of abusers who can’t escape them…..be it out of fear, dependency, or dysfunctional love for them. Niall ended up in exactly the same kind of relationship.

Didn’t Mona say that she compartmentalises as a coping mechanism? My impression was that she separates Ruben into different versions of himself: Ruben the loyal family man, Ruben the controlling partner, Ruben the psychopath, and so on. She can recognise the good qualities in him (his ability to provide, his devotion to his family, his affection towards children) while mentally separating those traits from the behaviour that contradicts them.

I can easily imagine her rationalising a lot of his actions. She might tell herself that his controlling behaviour was a reaction to her being difficult, that he only attacked Albi because he believed he was defending Niall/himself, or that what happened to Benji stemmed from his belief that she was having an affair. In that mindset, the blame shifts onto her rather than forcing her to confront the reality of who Ruben is. You see it on Mumsnet all the time.

I think she genuinely hoped that the positive side of him would eventually outweigh the negative. Fatherhood was one of the few things he seemed truly invested in and fixated on, so it’s understandable that she might have believed being a dad would finally be the thing that changed him. What she perhaps failed to grasp was the bigger picture: that he was deeply unwell and prone to violence regardless of his capacity for kindness, remorse, or charm. The fact that he could be charismatic and show genuine remorse (like when he came out of prison and apologised to everyone) made it easier to believe the good version of him was the “real” one.

I think Mona had a LOT of issues herself….

Having sex with Niall when he was 15 for no other reason than because Ruben asked her to….

Getting into a relationship with Ruben after he came out of prison despite knowing he practically battered a man to death…..

Cheated on Ruben during their marriage despite knowing how violent and controlling he was…. Including sleeping with his brother.

Quickly getting into another relationship after Ruben was jailed a second time for almost battering someone else to death….

And then running back to Ruben as soon as soon as she was alone again.

I don’t really think there’s any depth to her character and really she just liked the fact that Ruben seemed to worship her and that he had lots of money. I also think she can’t be alone which is why she went off with someone new very quickly after Ruben went to jail, but then went straight back to Ruben when that new relationship broke down.

The way she was so cold towards Niall after they’d slept together, and then how she was tormenting/blackmailing him in the last episode kind of showed that actually she’s quite an unpleasant character. It wouldn’t have surprised me if she’d purposefully slept with Niall purely just to punish Ruben (with the hopes of getting pregnant as a bonus).

I mean I know Ruben is a psycho, but I have no idea what he saw in Mona.

I was very disappointed in the ending, both of them fighting to the death while all the wedding guests waited patiently outside the barn? So difficult to believe.

I wanted them to resolve somehow their difficulties but I suppose that was unrealistic, but some sort of peace looked possible when they spoke in prison before Niall told Ruben the truth about Baird. I got hopeful then, but when Niall told him about Baird, I just thought he's actually got a death wish - he's done the worst possible thing to Ruben and now told him about it so he knows what's next.

@ScaredButUnavoidableI agree about Mona.

I thought the wedding guests didn't know they were there fighting and had only come outside by the barn when they did actually know what had happened? (And by then too late)

Yeah, the barn wasn’t actually that close to where the guests were so I doubt any of the general guests had any idea they were in there and fighting.

I assumed that at some point Alby (or someone else who knew of their complex background) realised that both Niall and Ruben were missing and had gone looking for them, heard noises in the barn but couldn’t get in because of the barricade and so called the police, but by then it was too late.

I can’t recall if anyone saw them actually go in the barn together?

I remember Niall giving Ruben a big shove in front of some of the wedding guests so it was obvious they were having a disagreement, but I can’t remember if anyone who actually knew of their complicated background saw them go in the barn together?

Not that anyone would suspect Ruben was planning on killing his own brother even if they did know about all their history (apart from possibly Alby or Ava?)

To add….

I just watched the first few minutes of episode 5 and although the barn isn’t near the wedding guests, they walk past Alby to get to it, so Alby knows they are in there together.

Why on earth didn't Alby stop him?????!!

Many things don't make sense to me in the programme

I always wondered too if there was any meaning to the fact that Mona had called the baby Baird as I googled the meaning of the name (as I had never heard it before) and apparently it has connotations with people who have artistic skills including poetry writing. I wondered if it was a slight nod to the fact his real dad (Niall) was a writer.

I watched part of the first episode andfound it ugly for the sake of it.

Thank you for the extra info on the barn, I couldn't watch the whole thing again to find out.

In their prison conversation, after Ruben had given details about his abuse as a child, and he said something like 'Is that too much?' It was and I think this applies to many parts of the drama as well. It was just a little too much of everything taken to an extreme for just a little too long each time.