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Waiting for the out : SPOILERS ..

43 replies

the80sweregreat · 05/01/2026 04:39

As per the title , for those that have ‘ binged ‘this and fancy a chat.
I am only on episode four so far , but it is very good.
I know it’s going to be regarded as ‘ woke’ in some quarters , but it has a lot to say and I do like Lee , what a fantastic natural actor and how altruistic he is too.
Makes a change from police dramas too ( despite being set in a prison !)

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NecklessMumster · 06/01/2026 21:24

Just finished binging it, I thought it was great and have been reading reviews and interviews, didnt realise at first it was based on a memoir. Lots to think about, great acting. Good to see a more nuanced depiction of prison and inmates, no easy answers. I was frustrated with Lee for not getting help but maybe life not that simple

the80sweregreat · 07/01/2026 05:26

Neckless, I liked Dan’s brother Lee , but I was concerned he would relapse especially as his son grew up. The lengths he went to to help Amber was amazing , getting stopped and searched by the police just normal. He was just so different to his brother washt he.
Dan should have bought an electric kettle, but it wouldn’t have made much difference I suppose although it was one possible solution that made sense to me. Or gone to the GP for some anti anxiety meds.
He wasn’t good at helping himself really , but the OCD had such a grip on him.
I don’t understand why his mum thought he loved his dad as a child, She was just so oblivious to eveything and he was scared of him , that’s not love. Really sad

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SelfRaisingFlour · 07/01/2026 07:12

I've watched all of it. It's a great show. Brilliant acting from everyone. The OCD was frustrating to watch even though we only got snippets of it (imagine taking an hour to check the cooker!).

We saw the relationship of Dan with his father when he was 9 so more understanding of how scary he was. Perhaps he really did love him and prefer him when he was younger. Or maybe his mother told herself that. Dan was interested in seeing the father even though no one else wanted to do and the pad mate said he was kind. It was nuanced and confusing like real life.

NecklessMumster · 07/01/2026 07:42

Yes, no easy answers or easy resolutions. Children do bond with parents even when abusive. He seemed to be looking for answers as to who he was, lots of 'why am I different, am I different?'. So rational and empathic with others but not himself, I kept shouting 'no, dont do that' at the TV with phone, girlfriends son etc. I loved his brother too.

the80sweregreat · 07/01/2026 08:25

It was confusing. The pad mate seemed a bit unhinged himself, maybe a few acts of kindness from Dan’s dad and he was hooked in ? Or dad was using him.
Dan’s mum wanted to airbrush away a lot of it. I actually didn’t like her much tbh. She had a met a nice man and had a lovely house and been settled, but hardly any empathy or help for her sons. When she saw the cooker photos on his phone, she was almost rolling her eyes.
Most parents would be marching him up to the GP and going with him, but maybe that’s just me ! ..
Lee questioned why he was working in a prison. Taking the phone in was almost an act of defiance, I am bad , I am like they are , but he wasn’t. Wouldn’t have been surprised to have discovered that his dad wasn’t his dad at all really he was so different to the others.
I want his brother to stay off the drugs , but I have a horrible feeling he will be tempted later on especially as Dean grows up , but hope I’m wrong there
I did love it , it was so different and the writer was on breakfast tv today with the Dan actor and both seem lovely.

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ColdHenrietta · 07/01/2026 11:49

I’ve watched four episodes and found it mesmerising. But I was so infuriated by the outcome for the lovely new girlfriend (Natasha) that I had to take a break from my binge. Just cannot stop thinking about the specific way he has completely ruined her life.

Other than that, it’s outstanding. I remember Josh Finan being incredibly watchable in The Responder; if anything he’s even better here. And the rest of the cast is glorious too - but there’s so much sadness clinging to most of them.

the80sweregreat · 07/01/2026 11:55

That was sad with the son. He was probably right about not wanting to be a dad , he was so out of order there and should have just taken him home.

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ColdHenrietta · 07/01/2026 18:14

Now that I’ve watched it all, I’d say it ends satisfactorily. I should think the writer, director and actors deserve to feel very proud of what they made.

the80sweregreat · 07/01/2026 18:38

Nice to see Phil Daniels who is playing a person I can imagine might have been an old skool villain once upon a time!
His rant over all the paperwork he needed to push trollies around was just brilliant, it is all rubbish isn’t it ! No wonder some don’t bother looking for job when it’s so hard.,

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Gloriia · 09/01/2026 08:30

Loved this. Such powerful performances from everyone particularly Josh Finan as Dan.

Really demonstrates how childhood experiences obviously stay with us and affect our behaviour and relationships into adulthood.

I understand what a pp meant about a kettle i thought that just buy a plug in but it wouldn't have mattered, his focus would've been on turning taps off or locking doors instead.

The scenes with his dad just full of dread and tension. Such brilliant actors.

Interesting how the mother said she stayed for his sake as he loved his Dad but he seemed in a state of quiet terror the whole time, anyone could see it was a toxic situation to have a young dc in.

All the hype that Adolescence got and this was a million times better regarding effects of toxic masculinity.

the80sweregreat · 09/01/2026 08:39

It was much more believable than Adolescence. It was a quiet drama, but so much going on beneath the surface. I did like how the prisoners he was teaching were a lot more switched on and intelligent than he gave them credit for at first. It gave him a lesson on not judging a book by its cover!

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Gloriia · 09/01/2026 08:53

the80sweregreat · 09/01/2026 08:39

It was much more believable than Adolescence. It was a quiet drama, but so much going on beneath the surface. I did like how the prisoners he was teaching were a lot more switched on and intelligent than he gave them credit for at first. It gave him a lesson on not judging a book by its cover!

It was just mesmerising. Every scene imo was quietly gripping. Loved the gov letting him off as he wasn't obviously doing it for gain.

If you haven't seen The Responder try it on demand, Finan plays Marco a daft but likeable druggie and the character is the complete opposite to Dan.

the80sweregreat · 09/01/2026 09:15

I binged it over two days.
I haven’t seen the responder , if I can find it on catch up give it a go.

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the80sweregreat · 09/01/2026 14:08

Agree with the other thread ( no spoilers) thread that lee is so good. The matter of fact way he describes his drug addiction, how he handled the stop and search without any quibble and said to Amber ( who he saved) there is always tomorrow. He was so natural with it all.
Dan was just awkward with people, but he did handle his uncle well!

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ColdHenrietta · 09/01/2026 14:16

I’m still laughing at how the ‘Amber episode’ police declined to search Dan! 😂 And how pointlessly aggrieved we know he must have felt.

LemograssLollipop · 09/01/2026 16:18

The characters were so interesting. At school we had someone do a talk on working in the prison service and I was tempted to go for it, this series has brought back that memory for me. The discussion about the physical abuse some of them suffered at the hands of their parents was really hard to watch. And the hold his father had over him and making him call his mother a tart. Just awful.

I liked his brother Lee and that they had a close relationship. Closer than with their mum.

I will find out the name of the book so I can read the memoir in its entirety.

Meredusoleil · 25/01/2026 21:16

I've just finished watching the last episode and found it really thought-provoking! Also had some great acting 👏

Very surprised to hear that Greg had killed himself at the end, but glad Dan didn't go to prison for taking his phone inside. Was actually shocked that it was a criminal offence to do so and that it carries a 2 year sentence 😳

The prison governor was thankfully a decent sort and could see Dan had not done it intentionally 👌

gentlesea · 25/01/2026 21:22

Binged this today. Phenomenal show! It was very funny at times but also made me cry a lot - that scene where he shows the photo to the guy in hospital was gut-wrenching. I loved the bond between the brothers. The writing was so beautiful, the performances were amazing.

I've only seen Josh Finan in Say Nothing where he played Gerry Adams. He's so talented! I'll definitely be keeping an eye out for his future projects. I hope he gets some awards nominations for this but it looks like this show is flying under the radar.

the80sweregreat · 25/01/2026 21:23

I absolutely loved this and watched it again the other week.
I was so upset that the boy was injured by trying to follow him and the phone incident was frustrating. Not sure what he was thinking there. He was such a complex character.
I still didn’t like his mum , she was just too dismissive.
Great drama. I hope it wins a BAFTA

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Meredusoleil · 25/01/2026 21:36

The female prison officer Stephens reminded me so much of Jeanette Kwakye! That's all I could see when I looked at her.

Also, the mum looked familiar too. What else has the actress been in? She looks a bit like Sheridan Smith lol!

the80sweregreat · 25/01/2026 21:58

His mum just annoyed me. I know it was all painful for her to talk about their dad, but she should have tried a bit harder. At least his uncle did a bit and didn’t avoid a difficult conversation about him.

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Meredusoleil · 25/01/2026 22:15

the80sweregreat · 25/01/2026 21:58

His mum just annoyed me. I know it was all painful for her to talk about their dad, but she should have tried a bit harder. At least his uncle did a bit and didn’t avoid a difficult conversation about him.

Yes I agree. She was very evasive and didn't help Dan understand her position at all.

For a moment I thought the dad's pad-mate was making it all up, the way Dan was pulling a face at everything he said.

Also thought it was bad the way Dris was treated and hope his family got the £150 per day compensation that they were entitled to due to his later release date - was he actually released in the end, do we even know?!?

It was all going too well for him and he was so happy to be leaving, that I just knew something was going to go wrong 😬

the80sweregreat · 26/01/2026 12:20

Hard to tell with his dad’s pad mate if he was genuinely in awe of his ‘kind hearted ‘ dad , or maybe his dad just got him to do things for him and kept him on side. I was expecting him to be scathing , but maybe he was also worried Daniel might go for him if he said anything bad about him! After all , he didn’t know how he’d react to any negative comments. Being positive meant he was hedging his bets a bit there.
It was an odd conversation.

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MrsLargeEmbodied · 28/01/2026 05:22

Dris was released the day he took the phone in

this was excellent, i loved the ending, so relieved the suspension was lifted
it was an excellent programme and had nothing negative, Josh Finan was excellent, what a change from First Responder character!
as a boy he loved his dad, he loved what he wanted his dad to be i think

the80sweregreat · 28/01/2026 08:55

I can’t believe how much I loved this drama.
I know some may find it a bit slow , but it was totally absorbing and so well acted , especially by his brother and Phil Daniels too. Just brilliant

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