How do we get our child to share the TV?

[ThatNimbleNavyRobin]

Our 8yo has grown up choosing which TV programmes to watch - I was a single mum for 5 years and honestly it was easier to go along with this whilst trying to juggle everything else. But, my partner and I have carried on doing this for the last 3 years and reinforced the problem. She struggles to accept anyone else's choices. We make suggestions and she will not bend. She has offered for us to watch what we want whilst she uses her tablet, but she doesn't use it much currently and we don't want to swap one problem for another and we want to instill time together. We get out and about a lot together and the TV is actually a small portion of the day, but when it's on it's problematic. Does anyone else have this problem? I'm loathe to just grab the remote as it's not her fault we have allowed this situation to develop. She also has a similar problem with friends and has to be the person making all the choices or she just doesn’t take part. This obviously results in a small circle. Any tips for how to encourage her to share and even things out please?

Well, if she doesn't share, then she's not allowed to watch it. At all. Just turn it off. You are the parent, so what you say goes. Isn't it the same as anything else? You make the rules (no TV at mealtimes, no leaving the table without permission etc) and she has to understand that you are serious.
I guess if she persists in disobeying you, then there has to be some sort of punishment. And both if you need to be consistent.

Christ.

Tell her that she has to share with other people to be a nice human, and that it’s your turn to choose what’s on the TV. If she doesn’t like it, she can go and do something else.

This will only get harder, op.

You’re the adult, take the remote and put what you want to watch on tv. You aren’t doing her any favours by treating her as if she has “equal say”. She doesn’t, she’s a child.

You make her share and deal with the grumbling. She'll get over it quickly.

She has offered for us to watch what we want whilst she uses her tablet
It’s your tv presumably. You just have to tell her that things are going to change. Be the adult, your house, your tv, your rules.

Seriously? Come on OP.

You’ve created an easy life ? So you’ll need to now parent her and take back control, she’ll ‘let’ you watch what you want on tv will she! The sheer cheek, I know what I’d say if she was mine! You rule the roost op , you’re scared of your own child it’s time to step up, not doing her any favours in the future letting her carry on this way.

So what happens when she doesn't get her choice?
I'm struggling to imagine any behaviour that would prevent you turning on what you actually want to watch.
She's pissed off. Who cares?

This.

Bloody hell, what have I just read? The child is 8, she doesn't get to make the rules. You need to put your foot down.

I don’t understand this at all. Why would you put anything on if you don’t all want to watch it? Tv is on demand now.

You are her paren. She is a child. Parent her. Set out some rules for whose turn it is to pick the program and stick with it. Any poor behaviour over it and there must be consequences. No tv for the day.
Stop letting a child boss you about!

Entitled much ? And while you and DP tolerate it and let her have her way, already her friends are choosing not to be around for this. This really is gentle parenting gone too far she is running the house . You are well.on the way to raising an obnoxious brat .

To be fair, it's not doing ANY of us a favour when children are allowed to behave like this. We all have to live together and this sort of entitlement ends up impacting everyone,

My dd has similar tendencies. It’s nothing we’ve done, particularly, it’s just how she is. Likes to be in control. She is quite highly strung emotionally, and has a few ‘traits’, but hasn’t been significant enough to warrant any sort of assessment. Sometimes she’s fine. Does this ring any bells?

Anyway, that said, it makes no difference to setting boundaries - we are firm about what and when she can watch. At the moment she is allowed tv time while younger sibling is napping only. No other times unless special occasion. Can she have a set tv time?

I’m wondering though why you need to be watching tv while she’s up? We never watch tv in the daytime, just a bit in the evenings whilst they are asleep. Or if it’s a specific show at a specific time, just tell her that’s your regular spot.

You’ve made suggestions and dates offered? What madness do you live in?

what exactly does she do if you take the remote and change it ?

What? She’s 8. You put what you want on the TV and that’s the end of it surely.

She has offered? Really? You're the adult. It’s your tv. Take the remote from her and watch what you want.

Just turn the TV off until after bedtime, then watch what you want. You've already said she has a tablet to entertain herself if she wants. She could use that or books, drawing, crafts.

She won’t have any friends if you enable her to control people so much they’d rather not bother with her. Better at 8 than never to get on top of this.

Is this “family” time watching telly or does she monopolise the remote all the time? What happens if you say no or pick something else?

She doesn’t know how to share because she hasn’t had to.

Does she not understand taking turns?
It applies to the TV just as much as anything else. Of course she can do something else when it’s your turn, but she doesn’t get to not let you. Her not liking it is irrelevant, it’s not in her interests to not be able to share.

Is this for real.
Look at your title to this thread OP. Key words, Child, and Our.

Your TV. She has controlled time to watch her programmes. She might sulk, have a tantrum, let her.

You explain that things are going to change, and from now on, everyone gets to decide what to watch. Maybe you can have set times, days or weeks when it’s your turn to pick first. If she’s used to getting her own way, then she will resist. There will be tantrums. Let her.