I fell for a love rat.
I was lucky.
I was just out of an emotionally abusive relationship. I was in a chat room when this man showed interest in me. My mobile wasn't working at the time, but I had my own little shop and so gave him the shop phone number so we could chat. We never discussed meeting, but he out of the blue said he as getting a train over. I left work, and met him in a shopping centre.
He was instantly charming, was chatting and shared my interests. I didn't give him my address and he paid for a hotel which I met him at the next morning and spending a few hours before seeing him off. I wanted to see him again. I had a little boy and he had 2 girls. He asked if I was OK to meet the girls so I suggested we take the kids to see santa at the shopping centre. Whilst queuing to pay, the £20 dropped out of my hand and I couldn't find it anywhere. The shopping centre was busy, I didn't have any money on me and he offered to pay (with a £20 note which I now believe was the one I had dropped).
Our kids got along really well, and I next went to his home. At this point I trusted him enough to invite him to mine.
He came over the next day, and didn't leave. Just moved himself in. He did start making repairs around the house, fixed my mobile and even came to my shop and made repairs there that needed doing. He was a real gent, he quit his job as it was too far then started looking for work locally, although none of the jobs were good enough for him so he never applied.
I had said I had wanted a sibling for my son, and he said he really wanted more kids. He was fab to his daughters. I met his parents and they all (mum, step mum and dad) seemed happy for us. I quickly fell pregnant and he proposed.
This is when things changed. He would stay up all night and sleep all day while I was at work. He insisted he was building a website to compete with Facebook, he showed me and it was convincing.
He wouldn't clean up and insisted it wasn't his mess, and when he fetched his daughters over, I was left looking after them all weekend till he took them home. He didn't contribute financially at all. Wouldn't claim benefits as he was too good for that.
My car wasn't anything special, but it ran, it worked and was good enough for me.
He kept trying to push me to trade it in for a jeep as he really wanted a jeep. I said no. He kept pushing 'but we're getting married so you should' - i told him that if my car failed the next MOT, then I would trade in for a jeep. This pi$$Ed him off, but I stood my ground.
I also owned 2 properties which one I loved in and the other was rented out. He was insistent that I put him on the mortgages. Again, I had been through 2 long term relationships prior to him and I hadn't named the exes on my properties. I refused, and again he kept making the 'we're getting married comments' - I still refused to add his name.
Next came the mobile phone - a new Samsung had been released, it was around £700. He told me that as mine (not a smartphone) wasn't great, I could have his old phone, and I should buy him the new one. I told him again, that it wasn't a necessity and we were fine without it, but he couldn't understand why I wouldn't get it as I had enough money to.
Due to having concerns, I have told him that before we married, I wanted a prenup. He didnt argue about it.
He dropped me off at work the next day so he could have use of my car. I didn't think much of it. I walked home from work that day and when I got home my car was on the drive. I went in the house, and apart from basics (sofa, washing machine fridge etc), everything was gone. Including him. I guess in one respect, it was fortunate that I've always been tight because I didn't have much of any value and my money was secure in my bank account.
He stayed in touch saying he wanted to work things out (more lovebombing) but we should postpone the wedding and that everything had moved too fast and I said no but that he could meet me for the 12 week scan of our baby. It was at this point when I realised how much I had lost. He said he didn't have enough for a train ticket so I offered to get him one, but as I'd left my purse at work, I would pay for it on my credit card.
My credit card which had an available balance of £16k and I didn't carry around with me. I hadn't used it as it was for emergencies. He told me that he had my credit card as 'I'd asked him to put it in his pocket when we were out' - this didn't make sense to me as I have said, I am very watchful with my money.
I called up the company, to discover he had made £5k ish of transactions having taken the pin number from my documents tin.
£4k of then had not been in the area I live and these were instantly refunded as I could prove i was at work when those transactions were made. The other £1k he had spent on the day he left, in my area. I had to stand those transactions.
He had been using my card to wine and dine his next victim.
When my son was born, I learned that he had another girl (i mean girl too) pregnant. She was 19, he was 33 and it appeared that she was from a well off family.
I now know that this man has children all over the UK (7 that I know for definite).
Possibly one in France, 1 in Australia.
My son is 12 now, my husband has adopted him and he is aware he has siblings all over the place. Unfortunately the mothers of siblings are not interested in their kids having a relationship with my son.
I never thought I would be gullible enough to become a victim of romance fraud, but I guess lovebombing can leave you blind.
I did go to the police, they phoned him and he said he would pay me back. He never did and when I went back to the police, they said it was now a civil matter.
I tracked him down with a PI.
I applied to court, he never showed but responded that I had given him the money. I was awarded £5k. I never saw a penny of it and he moved house faster than Bonnie Blue changes sexual partners. He never registers himself at any of the addresses making him hard to trace and it wasn't cost effective to keep pursuing him.