KATE GARRAWAY. DEREKS STORY. TUE 26 March - ITV 9pm

[Blondeshavemorefun]

This will be a real tear jerker

i watched the two previous programmes she and Derek did

this is the final year of Derek life and told in his words

Kate Garraway (https://uk.news.yahoo.com/tagged/kate-garraway/) will front a new ITV programme documenting the last year of her late husband Derek Draper’s (https://uk.news.yahoo.com/tagged/derek%20draper/) life: Kate Garraway: Derek’s Story.
The Good Morning Britain (https://uk.news.yahoo.com/tagged/good-morning-britain/) star’s husband died in January (https://uk.news.yahoo.com/derek-draper-tributes-kate-garraway-husband-covid-123921217.html)
after his battle with COVID.

She previously made two programmes about his health struggles — Finding Derek and Caring For Derek — and will now share his final chapter which will air on ITV on 26 March.

The film starts in May 2023 and looks at the final year of Draper’s life, including both sweet family moments and an insight into his health battle.

But it also looks back and reflects on his life before he contracted COVID in 2020, including his career as a political adviser, his romance with TV star Garraway — who he has two children with — and how Draper’s illness changed their relationship while they maintained their close bond.

The film also highlights the challenges faced by those living with serious illness and disability and those who care for them and will feature contributions from Draper’s carer Jake.

The programme is set to air in just a few days, close to three months after Draper died at the age of 56.

It will be on ITV at 9pm on Tuesday 26 March.
Documentary was Derek Draper’s idea
Garraway has said that she hadn’t planned to make a third documentary but that the idea came from her husband.

Obviously when we started making this documentary early last year, we had no idea the events that would unfold that ultimately took Derek from us,” she said. “And in January 2024, after he had passed, I wondered if it was right that it should ever come to air.

"But I didn’t want to let those who have given us so much support over the last four years down, and the carers paid and unpaid who in their thousands of letters to me, feel Derek’s story has given them a voice. Also, I remember so vividly that the idea of making this third documentary at all came from Derek himself.”

She went on: “At the beginning of January 2023, he’d been released from a four month spell in hospital for sepsis and we were very positive about his recovery. Derek was determined to keep on getting better and improving.

One day, we were sitting together while I was caring for him and he suddenly, from nowhere, asked, ‘Are we making another documentary?’ I said, ‘Well I hadn’t really planned to. Were you thinking that you would like to?’ And he said firmly, 'Yes'."

The presenter said she told Draper it should be his story, in his voice, explaining: "Derek got very emotional at the idea, because his words and speech were so limited and there were so many things he wanted to say about the struggle we were all having as a family and he wanted to speak up about it."

When she asked Draper what his main message was, he replied: "Never give up fighting for what you believe in and for the people you love."
“We had to find a way of allowing Derek’s voice to be heard and while having to finish it without him has been so hard, I am delighted that the film is a tribute to Derek and his incredible spirit,” she added.

Social services would have approved 7x4x2 care.
Which DD would have financially had to contribute to.
Clearly KG chose to give 24 hour care and therefore paid privately on top of the allowed 4 calls per day.
Paying for oxygen therapy, trips to Mexico etc - all not necessary.
Incontinence pads - that would have been a few phone calls to district nurses to request assessment - though usually it's 4 pads a day at best, but it would have reduced the crippling bills.

People all over the UK lie in bed all day waiting for the carers to do their 15 minutes 4 times a day. It's pitiful.

When family can claim carers allowance it's £76 per week!!!!!

People are left home alone, he's in bed , not able to get out. An alert alarm would provide extra support if needed

Because many people arent on Kates salary and cant afford to stop work/quit their job to care, Employers arent all as supportive as ITV you know. And a lot of them still think family friendly only means kids. And what if you simply arent cut out to be a carer. No family member should be forced or emotionally blackmailed into it by healthcare workers or SS. (and this does happen) Kate did this for four long years. My aunt did it for 12 years after my uncles stroke and the stress isnt what killed her but it bloody helped. And the predictions i made in that Pension Credit thread (yes it was my thread) have actually come to pass. Less family members (but we all know i mean women) available to care because of pensions and benefit changes. Changes that were cheered on by most of the country. You reap what you sow!!!

BTW I'm not saying the system is right, but at the moment that's how it is and even then we are struggling to provide 7x4x2 charges . Yes continence garments provided by continence nurse

I would also question the so called mobility expert, if you are trying to get someone up from a chair you bring them forward first, no wonder he was struggling to get up from back of chair. You also don't put your hand under someone armpit to assist them, that's condemned practice

I'd echo what @Salemforcuddles is saying here. I'm carer for my husband, gave up work (social care) several years ago but he's been bedbound for nearly 18 months (Covid, being confined to bed in hospital took what was left of his mobility, even after rehab) We have 2x carer 2x day. We also have District Nurses 2x week for dressings. I could have more help and money wouldn't be a consideration, but his toileting can be haphazard and I'd rather manage than have carers coming in for no good reason, privacy as much as anything (although they are excellent and I couldn't manage without them) The maximum we would realistically get with LA funding (which we contribute to) is 2x carers 4x day 7 days a week. If that package isn't viable, the alternative is either fund it yourself or residential care (completely understand why Katee didn't countenance that route)

I know my situation is different, we own our house outright, manage financially and don't have younger children. I also know there were periods where Derek was very, very ill. I'm not judging her for the documentaries and have no comment on appropriateness, because we really don't know what was discussed between them.

I'm confised about some of the stuff around finances. It seems he at times qualified for CHC finding (which would have provided a lot more care than the LA maximum, paid for by the NHS) but the way she says it was withdrawn without notice would have been challengable. There are law companies that specialise in such cases and we are talking well connected people with resources and a high public profile to boot here. I also don't understand why (and I may have misunderstood this, admittedly) she has to repay the LA for the care that was provided by them. There would have been a financial assessment at an early stage and it would have worked on his income (which sounds like zilch at that point) and his savings/half joint savings. Perhaps he did have over the threshold at that point, but given the huge level of debt now, I wonder how long it lasted.

She says that she was told that he would have to "get used to being in his own urine and faeces" and rightly points out that this can cause rapid medical deterioration. I do struggle with the idea that a medical/care professional would be basically stupid enough to say that to someone with a national public platform, TBH, forget being callous, just stupid.

Sorry for the screed. As I said, I bear her no ill will and wish her well for the future, but some elements of this greatly puzzle me.

ETA agree also with continence pads, wendylette positioning sheets, a hospital bed etc still being available from NHS.

@Uricon2 Not an easy situation for you, I'm sorry 💐

Echoing what @Uricon2 said the financial aspects of KG's account don't add up for me.

Well, I suppose he could and many people are, but again it's probably not what she wanted for him. In one of the earlier programmes she talked about the huge volume of washing she had to do and I took that to mean that he had serious episodes of incontinence. Presumably, she couldn't imagine leaving him lying in his own filth for hours between visits and he was actually much more well and able to communicate in the programme last night - in earlier ones he seemed much more unwell. Given his distress too and obvious mental impairments as a result of the Covid perhaps he wouldn't have been able to comprehend being left alone in the house and would've become too distressed?

Continence garments are now made to protect the skin as much as they can from urine, in terms of faeces they would probably have him on a commode at a regular time, if he did have an accident then that's where the alert alarm would be used

But surely, like everyone else with a chronically ill relative, people help out. Family, friends etc.

It's strange to say care is £4000 a week when that is ideal cover and what she chooses to arrange and pay. He didn't appear to have any complex care needs such as respiratory support so in this situation you'd do what others do and have the carers 4 times a day and family and friends sit with him on a rota basis the other times if she didn't want him alone.

Did they say in earlier programmes what has caused the mental impairment did he actually have a stroke whilst testing positive for covid?

Did they say in earlier programmes what has caused the mental impairment did he actually have a stroke whilst testing positive for covid?

I can't remember if he'd had a stroke or not, but she did say last night that Covid had damaged every organ in his body and he was on a ventilator and in a coma for quite some time, which middle-aged people don't recover well from typically.

All I could think was she needs Stacey Solomon!

Having said that, really hard to watch that poor man.

Fuck Covid

No people don’t actually help out much. It is usually just one main carer .In my experience anyway . Read the escaping to the country thread on the elderly parents topic people are not keen to help at all .

I don't want to wipe my friend's husband's arse, sorry!

And relying on well-meaning people "helping out" is no way to plan complex care needs.

In our case, all family scattered around the country. My husband has not wanted anyone other than the carers/medical staff to see him since he's been in bed, especially friends and I respect his wish for privacy (luckily they are still an amazing support to me)

Carers make hard, hard choices that usually involve unpalatable sacrifices or compromises. I do wonder how well Kate was advised about the realities of the situation or whether she thought it would be much more short term/easier recovery than what transpired for them.

I watched it and thought that Kate came across as having the patience of a saint and I didn't see her exploiting Derek or their situation at all.

I didn't think she did either.

She highlighted what many families struggle with and it's open peoples eyes.

And when he was audibly distressed they didn't show us. He was filmed when he wasn't happy and consenting.

People need to remember at the heart of this is a family who lost their husband and dad twice over really. Who lived neatly 4 years not knowing how well he'd recover and if he would and living through countless setbacks.

itsgettingweird
Did you mean to say he wasn’t happy?

God yes, wasn't her home a tip? I'm a neat freak, so it raised my blood pressure just seeing all those piles of paper and toys all over the floor 😆

'People need to remember at the heart of this is a family who lost their husband and dad twice over really. Who lived neatly 4 years not knowing how well he'd recover and if he would and living through countless setbacks.'

We do remember and I've sympathy for anyone caring for a chronically ill relative. Thing is the books and previous documentaries covered the situation, I'm not sure there was anything more to share.

Whoops yes.

Meant to say when he audibly was distressed they didn't cameras on him.

When he was being filmed he was talking about covid and his condition and seemed to be consenting and happy with the cameras there.

@kerstina its a bloody big ask The Escape to the Country thread is about elderly relatives who have done just that and family cant keep travelling miles when they work full time and have kids. Its just not sustainable. Its not "not being keen" And come on we all know family means WOMEN

I agree with you ! Sadly it does usually come down to one person. I was main carer for my mum no brothers and sisters. It should be with support from paid carers not expecting family and friends to do it.

The person who said she can get a 500k house - not in London you can’t!! Most 3 beds in reasonable areas are upwards of 1K and I’m sure the kids don’t want to be taken from their schools etc esp as their dad has just died.

I thought Kate came across as very loving and patient.
Derek seemed much improved compared to previous documentaries talking and making sense, trying to stand up/ weight bear/ able to feed himself.
All be it still very disabled and needing a lot of care.
It's such a heartbreaking situation.
She is financially privileged and also seems to have supportive employers and good connections.
I'm sure she was paying for gold star care- and I dont blame her for that but that's the financial debt is probably linked to that.
As PP have said 2 carers could probably come in 7 days a week 4 times day, based on my mums carers costs that would cost £4000 a month. If someone needs 24/7 care I think SS would be looking at a care home but I understand how difficult that option would be.
Many spouses give up work to care which isn't great either.
A lot of people in Derek's situation are left alone for some periods of time- not at all ideal.
And yes sadly they are left soiled and not immediately changed. Again far from ideal.
Continence pads can be provided via continence team, I'm sure Kate could have figured that out if she got Derek to Mexico(!)- but the pads and reusable pants they sit within provided the nhs may not to the best .
Hospital beds, air mattress , Sara steady, can all be provided- and the physio too but yes a fight through red tape to get it.
Oxygen tent probably not- would think you'd need to pay for that yourself.
So the financial details are probably a bit less clear but Kate acknowledged she was lucky to be well paid.
I hope Kate and her children are supported and loved and can come to terms with their loss.
I felt so much sympathy for Derek - life is cruel - thankfully he was loved and got amazing care.
I also hope Derek's carer found employment following Derek's death and wasn't left out of work, I always think they must mourn too whilst losing their job at the same time.
But bottom line is if Kate can use her profile to raise awareness of carers plight and lack of social care funding then so much the better.