Can I tell you a secret - Netflix

[Rollergirl11]

Honestly I just can’t take this seriously! Social media has bred a generation of vacuous simoletons!

”How do they know so much about me?” Oh I don’t know, maybe cos you post it all on Instagram!!!!

Yeah, lets blame the victims...

As they clearly described, he knew more than they posted.

His behaviour was wrong, not theirs.

I was just looking for a thread on this to say how impressed I was with the women in that documentary. It must have been so hard to come forward, they are strong incredible women, going through so much and then sharing their story too.

Only 0.1% of stalking cases going to conviction is so disturbing and the police's reaction (with the exception of Kevin from Cheshire police!) was SO wrong. I would say it was shocking but sadly from friends I know that is the low priority police give to stalking. Not a surprise. Things need to change.

I watched it and found it chilling how this man could make it sound like the he was the women and message others. I never once thought they were in any way to blame for living their lives on social media. It's not unusual for young people to do this and most don't end up with a deranged stalker. I very much admired the woman who used the experience from her job to make up a court bundle with all the messages she had received.

I think the woman at the end said it all - the police kept telling her he wasn't breaking the law and they couldn't do anything and yet when it was actually taken up properly he got 9 years.

It was yet another story about police not taking women seriously.

As someone who outgrew plastic things on Facebook a long time ago, it amazes me how this generation post EVERYTHING about their lives online. It's so cringeworthy and strange. They're opening themselves up to a whole host of dangerous situations.

I am not victim blaming, as the perpetrators should not behave that way and in an ideal world women would be able to post/do/say whatever they want without being raped/stalked/killed. But that's not the reality. Women have a responsibility to keep themselves private and safe.

I have a teenage DD and she has Snapchat, and I hate it. She's very well rounded and has her head on straight but she is young and impressionable, I worry for her and her friends online safety.

Realistically will this influencer generation fade away? Or is it here to stay?

*posting

What are simoletons???

I didn’t mean it to sound like I was blaming them and as the program went on it definitely took a turn for the worse. But at the beginning I was surprised by how gullible and trusting they all seemed. They were still engaging with the messages even when it was clear the person didn’t know them and was out to cause trouble. It seemed like they still craved the attention and wouldn’t step away.

Some of the posters on here are blaming the women. Instead of telling girls they can't post online, why not demand more of the police, social media companies and the minority of men that do this type of thing? Pretty sure that's where we're falling short - not stopping someone posting some holiday photos!
What about the men e.g. the dad's targeted - should they be limiting their social media use and wearing less suggestive clothing 😉?

I thought they were trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. Perpertrator seemed dim. Victims not to blame, maybe not the sharpest pencils in the box.

The policeman trying to make a big drama out of referring a file to the CPS for review was laughable.

It's sort of an interesting topic but the cases involved were nowhere near interesting enough to make a big series out of.

Probably 'simpletons' .

I'm just a bit into the second episode. How can anyone say that they wouldn't be scared? I'm sorry but this guy has your phone number, parent's email conversations and chat history, friends... Even if you defending him are men- he's setting up meetings in car parks with dad's profiles! You could kill someone's career with that.

Am really appalled people on MN can''t see how concerning stalking is, still, even after so many high profile murders. Talk about victim blaming!

He didn't physically hurt them but it's quite clear he could have done. The police practically told one of them to wait til he raped/killed her. Stalking is serious. It's creepy as fuck.

Those of you victim blaming just because the women were avid users of social media should be ashamed of yourselves.

If you’ve never been stalked then you’ll never possibly understand.., it’s frightening. and those blaming the women involved, you should be ashamed of yourselves

when I was stalked I have to say the police were fantastic. This man was messaging me from all different social media accounts and phones. I felt like my life was in danger and scared he would turn up at my door or work.

this was a year ago and it’s all sorted now. But I happened to stumble upon a photo of the guy the other day and it made me hyperventilate, shake and cry. Horrible horrible experience,

women who blame women are one of the lowest of the low

I suppose the irony for me was that the two main victims featured were both trying to get into acting/modelling/influencing. Which are basically industries that set you up for constant surveillance and control, give you zero privacy. Not that it's at all pleasant to be stalked.

??? What on earth has that got to do with being stalked 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️additionally, this programme just so happened to revolve around women who had very active social media accounts but most women who are stalked are not in that category at all; they are just simply existing as normal everyday women.

I found the voice of the stalker so funny.

"The main victims"? You mean the four women who dared to go on the show? The true victims ran into the hundreds when you added all the people he had messaged before weddings, families and friends. That one girl had over 700 pages just for her and there were women who have never come forward. Get over yourself with the victim blaming. Why should someone's choice of career lead to someone thinking it acceptable to commit a crime against them and people they know?

I did think a professional photographer should have more understanding/awareness of data security. He sent nude photos of one of his model clients via what’s app on the basis of what he thought was a message from her asking him to send them. You’d think he would have at least wanted to speak directly to her before doing this but even then…

A mountain out of a molehill when he was messaging people his victims knew, pretending to be them and speaking in a sexual way to them? Are you kidding?

Absolutely! The whole thing was fascinating in many ways, in the effort the stalker went to to create fake profiles etc, but it was worrying how trusting so many people are when someone messages them saying 'Hi, it's me...' type thing sending personal info when they don't ask for evidence as to who is actually asking for the info.
Both the photographer and the personal trainer need to update their GDPR training.
I'm relatively private on social media, but get that that is how people not just live their life but build their career on there. And how it's all about building relationships with people (as many careers are). And in a way, that made it easier for the stalker as it appeared harder for all concerned to challenge what info was being asked for.
It also raised lots of questions for me as to how it all gets policed, in terms of jurisdiction and police resources.
Those poor, poor victims. Must have been terrifying. I'm so glad they all got justice.

I wonder if they would have caught him if he had not made those couple of mistakes - giving one of the victims ex boyfriends his real name and videoing himself to a relative.
Also what do you think he will be doing when he is released? Hmmm...

I cannot believe the amount of women on here who are claiming “I’m not victim blaming but….” And going on to say how “didn’t they think he’d know things if it’s on social media” I could post myself in a Liverpool football kit doesn’t make me Virgil van dyke. Social media is fake, what he was doing contacting parents of the victims isn’t through what’s shown on social media, it’s premeditated and calculated, it’s stalking. You’re basically saying if you wear a skirt or show skin you’re asking to be raped. Concerning personally that the women on here are mothers or want to be mothers and those are the views, you can attempt to claim “I’m not victim blaming” but you are, furthermore the more a select few make comments such as “women SHOULD be able to do this and that but they can’t, that’s not the world” YOU are part of the problem!

I think I did struggle to understand why they didn't block him straight away. wouldn't that have just prevented it from escalating at all??

If you had actually watched it you would have seen how many accounts he faked and was running concurrently, using their friends and parent's pictures and others such as the photographer's etc. Please watch the programme before suggesting the victims were at fault.