Tell them you love me

[Acrosstheeuniverese]

Anyone else watched this, it's left me with so many questions.. What do others think?

Not to dwell too long on the subject, but I see no reason why Derek's mother would lie about the masturbating. You can see how distressing and upsetting it is for her- for him to have warranted medication he may have been doing it to the extent of harming himself.
It also goes to explain yet another reason as to why what his abuser was claiming simply wasn't true: an erudite, intelligent and sensitive man would know what is and isn't appropriate to do around his mother/other family members. He lacks that boundary.

This confused me too, the show was to edited around the court case. It didn't really explain why Anna was released from prison so quickly. If Derrick could really communicate like they are suggesting surely he would have typed out his side.. ie you've got her all wrong and this is a loving relationship.

Excellent point @fatphalange if he could prefer red wine and classical music to beer and gospel then he would certainly understand acceptable behaviours in public.

The translator lady was definitely glossed over, it seemed she could do the facilitating communication but Derricks family weren’t able to? So was she writing the essays? What was her testimony? The review that saw her released from prison after 2 years on lesser charges was just a few lines at the end. There was a lot missing.

@Acrosstheeuniverese it's because the court dismissed the whole FC aspect as it was deemed bogus. But by the same token, because they had done so and not allowed it as evidence, ie letting Derek 'communicate' his version of events or hear from anyone else their opinions on the subject, it was what ended up getting her out as well. The reason they jailed her was the reason they released her. It's a shame really because it would've been a good 'test' and maybe she'd have got even longer inside and there would be no room for ambiguity if she'd have been allowed to 'prove' the FC was legitimate (because it isn't!)

Yes that's the bit which has me wondering as well. I wish more would have been included to cover the course mate's experience in submitting the essays etc

Truly disturbing. A small point but she said that in the past Derrick had been nicknamed D Man by another carer, any normal person would read that as Dee Man. But she called him 'Diman', a nickname no teacher has ever given anyone.

Is it possible she saw this nickname written down and thought it said Diman? Perhaps because she knows nothing about nicknames at all?

Ohhh I'm wondering even more now. I didn't really 'get' the name thing, I assumed it was like a 'you da man!' sort of thing. But if she was the one who came up with it, why was she pronouncing incorrectly? And if she wants people to believe that Derek was of a higher intelligence, how can she expect everyone to believe that is what he would name himself or accept her calling him and not correct her at any point?? I'm perplexed!

Completely irrelevant but did anyone else notice how much she looks like the mum in We need to talk about Kevin.. my husband pointed it out and I can't unsee it.

I thought the same!!

It was a very peculiar and troubling film. I’m also frustrated by the ambiguity around the support worker’s account, which seemed to support Anna and didn’t really make sense with the ultimate position refuting FC.

It was almost as though Anna was behaving as you might with an imaginary friend, projecting all her desires onto Derrick, and somehow believing them. I felt she was genuine in her belief in her construct (as someone said above, almost like Munchausen by Proxy or some kind of delusional personality disorder). It would be interesting to hear a psychiatrist’s view.

I also found it incredibly disturbing. From the start she said she didn't think she had committed any crime!

The other thing I found disturbing was the way she tried to sideline the mother and brother. She told them to cut the apron strings with him, even though they were his primary carers and had been all his life. She also wanted him to live independently, even though he is clearly not capable.

I saw the whole thing as predatory and abusive. She groomed Derrick's family to believe that she knew best, but in actual fact she was abusing him. She said that she removed his nappy to perform oral sex on Derrick. That's just sick 🤢

Just my opinion, but I thought she was awful.

I'd have liked to hear from her husband and I wonder if she has contact with her children?

The letter from her husband was really damning ,wasn't it?

That is exactly what I thought

I thought the family came across very racist to be honest….now dman has started trying to pleasure himself proves in my eyes he liked & wanted what happened ….so the family saying rape & mistreatment not for me…it all seemed the physiatrist at the end who said dman was incapable of communicating shouldn’t of been enough to convict her needed a lot more research into the case

How was he 'writing' essays suddenly. When did he learn to read and write basic English even.

I know,quite.🙄

What a truly disgusting - and frankly very concerning - take. Derrick’s continued masturbation is proof that he had enjoyed forced sexual encounters with a convicted predator? A man deemed to have the intellectual ability of a 6-12 month old? Sorry, but what you’ve written (and you by extension if that’s what you actually believe) is vile and makes me feel deeply uncomfortable.

Yes,me too. I was trying to post something other than WTAF?!

This is so ignorant I don't even know where to begin.

I just watched this. Her ex husband said she’s a pathological liar and narcissist and I think he’s right. I also suspect she’s fetishised disabilities as she was growing up. And it’s resulted in her taking advantage of a very vulnerable man she was meant to be caring for and supporting. I think it’s worrying that she doesn’t think she’s done anything wrong, and her mother is agreeing and enabling her daughter’s predatory behaviour. He clearly had a very close bond with his wonderful family, and he’s lucky they took the right steps to protect him. She raped him and she should have been in prison for longer.

Read this article in clinical trials website supporting the use of FC.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7840699/

I think that although she did groom him,his mother and his brother disliked even the possibility he had some ability to communicate.i felt they enjoyed him being dependent on them.the brother used some quite racist terms during the documentary.we are aware quite physically disabled people can have intimate relationships ect.as a midwife i once was present at a delivery were the girl was significantly disabled.i cannot condone a relationship based on grooming but i feel people just based the verdict on normal against disabled
My sister once worked at a facility for disabled kids and young adults who mastabated or attempted sex regularly.why should Derrick have not felt sexual desire???

He didn't feel or express desire of any sort before he was groomed, I wasn't aware he could communicate, it's a while since I watched this though.

I've just watched this and agree with lots above. Very disturbing.

I can't help but wonder - this case essentially hinges on consent. How did Derrick consent to this documentary being made? And his story being told. His identity being published to the masses?? That point doesn't even sit right with me.

He's an abuse victim with a child like mentally. But it's ok to override the need for consent when it's a money maker?

The doc could have been made without him being shown on camera, it does feel a little bit like how he was walked through the courtroom for 'show' to the jury. I don't like that.