DNA Family Secrets

[KateMiddletonsExtensions]

Has anyone watched this? It's quite emotional though Stacey Dooley is grating on me. It's a geneALOGIST not an -ologist.

I think there will have been clear threats, or interception, to stop them doing so.

Its highly unlikely hundreds and hundreds of men just decided not to bother writing.

It's horrific.

You assume they were fluent enough in English and literate enough to do so. And had the address to write. And could afford to send a letter from the other side of the world.

It's highly possible that they weren't.

Highlighting what happened to these men and their families is such an important 'lost piece of history'.

I'm really glad they covered it even though it didn't necessarily have a 'satisfying ending' for the audience.

The series is fascinating.

My parents recently both did DNA tests which I'll be honest, I wasn't keen on them doing because we don't know what will happen to the data.

BUT watching shows like this, it does bring it home why it's worthwhile. And something has popped up in my family which we never expected.

I really enjoy this program.
Family history is my hobby and myself and parents have taken several dna tests.
However, I cringe when I hear about these being bought as gifts, particularly for older people.
When my dad and I received our results we uncovered that his mother was the child of another man - one of three brothers - I'm not sure I'll ever be able to connect to the right one, although I believe it's probably the one who lived a few doors down in 1911. No one who this would seriously matter to is alive.

However, because of this, I asked my uncle to also do a test as it could give me further information to trace the family origins back further.
He agreed, then decided against. The gist is that he probably has another child out there that only he knows about.
My dad was stunned and had to promise to not say anything.
My uncle is now in his eighties, and has kept this secret since the Sixties.
All it would take is this child or a close relative to test and they'd find me and my dad as we are on all the databases.

Part of me hopes they do as time is running out, but imagine if they have no idea of their circumstances?

Exactly.

When I realised we had a mysterious relative we shouldn't have, i panicked as the result it was possible that my grandparent could have been responsible and that would have implications for my parent.

We've contacted this family and they have confirmed they knew their relative had an illegitimate child. They are going to speak to their family and we are hoping they will be back in touch.

However I had to have a conversation with my parents about this and how it could be sensitive. They decided to make contact because this family had clearly done a test for a reason and we suspected they were looking for some sort of answer.

The trouble is that they could be descended from a number of my great uncles (all now dead). Not all of them had children but all of the children are still alive as far as we are aware.

My parent hasn't been in touch with their cousins for decades but could do in theory. So it is very much a potential can of worms. But we felt we should at least be in touch to answer some questions if they want to know the answers.

We may not hear from them again and that's fine by us too. It gives us a whole story we never knew anyway and what little information we have found out is really interesting.

I think my parent half expects a half sibling to pop up at some point from the conversations we've had over this though.

That's it, you have to be prepared to find out something that you don't expect which might have massive ramifications. It's not just finding out you are 45% viking. And it doesn't just affect you.

I'm sure some could remember their addresses? It's probably they've been threatened.

I'm furious about it. It's something I didn't know about. Can't imagine what it did to the families and men.

My dad was illegitimate born 1931. I would like to find out something about his ddad. The story was he was killed when gran was pg. I don't believe it.
I'm worried to search in case I find out something unsavoury.
I'd need some of one of dss's hair I think? I've thought about it for years.

At Ancestry you just spit in a test tube, no hair involvement.

You wouldn’t need any hair. You would be best to take the test yourself - or a sibling - assuming your father is no longer alive.

Oh that's good. So do I just Google ancestry?

Ancestry is the company yes.

i would spend some time reading up on the tests and how you get the results. No site can provide you with a list of relatives. All they can do is tell you how much dna you share and it’s up to you to work that out.

Thanks

It’s a great show. Shame we have to endure Stacey to watch it. Find her a bit annoying. The episode with the twins and the old lady that didn’t know what happened to her mum had me crying. This week was so interesting. I’m from Liverpool and had never heard that about the Chinese fishermen

Ordered it. I'm a bit emotional as did some of the family tree. I haven't registered for that was just the taster.

I love this show and think it's so much better than the ITV version, even just to look at, it's so much more cinematic.

For those thinking of doing a DNA test have a listen to The Gift on BBC Sounds first, it's fascinating.

I've been listening to The Gift @SiouxsieSiouxStiletto and agree it's very interesting.

I’ve just watched this evening’s programme.

spoilers….

A bit flat. The participants were not very lucky this week. Obviously, some cases will be more successful than others and it’s important to be realistic, but to have three on the same show where the seekers didn’t find much and we didn’t see any reunions …. I felt sad for them all.

Bonkers that birth records are sealed in Germany for 110 years!

Can imagine there's quite a bit of scope to find out something really difficult.

Also mad about genealogy/dna/family trees/Ancestry. Our family are pretty working class and I think that that probably adds to the likelihood of illegitimacy and stray ends. Some of our ancestors died or were born in the workhouse for instance.

I actually think it was good to have an episode which didn't have every case have a 'happy ending' where they achieve the goal.

I think TV starts to give the false impression that DNA has all the answers and that it's really easy to find out the answer to the big family secret.

In truth, how many stories do production teams look at and then drop because they are 'tv worthy' because they can't find out as much information?

Seeing some disappointment is a good thing - I mean I never get the surprise that Davina is greeted with when she tells a family member they found someone. It's not like I've ever seen Davina say, oh sorry we couldn't find anyone. So it's refreshing for me for the BBC to be doing that in contrast to the ITV happyeverafter show.

In reality I suspect that there's a lot more misses than hits.

For example my parent has something like 50 first cousins on their mum's side. They've not had a single one pop up as a match nor their descendants - except this odd match that was a complete secret and not a known part of the family.

My parent has had a couple of second cousins pop up - their mum had something like 20 aunts and uncles and several of them had families of eight or more. The matches they've had originate from the US when DNA testing is more popular than the UK. That's a pool of a hundreds matches my parent could hit but hasn't.

Their closest match have popped up because she was looking for some - my parent didn't really have a compelling reason test they were just a bit curious. My point being there's something of a self selecting limited pool of people who will sign up to tests in the UK even now.

My point being my parent has an above average hundreds of potential hits for first or second cousins (up or down removed) because they has an abnormally high number of close relatives - but they still have a very small number of matches in that range.

If you are looking for an answer to a question, you need some luck over who has signed up before you. I'd argue more people are going to be unlucky rather than lucky at this stage still.
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Agree that it all depends on who else has tested and they usually do tell people this at the start.

I am from a huge family on my dad's side - grandad was one of 11, his father was one of 13. I have dozens and dozens of second and third cousins but hardly any strong matches on DNA at all. If I didn't know who my dad was, for example, there's no way there are matches strong enough to work it out with so many potential candidates.

@RedToothBrush & @Stroopwaffels just wondering if you've uploaded your results to other sites? (I didn't know that this was a thing until recently)

No.

The privacy on some of them is really dodgy (forget which one is particularly bad).

It's my parents results anyway so not for me to make that kind of decision.

I have - I did my test on Ancestry and have also uploaded to MyHeritage. I have a couple of more matches on MyHeritage but they are people who are all closely related to each other, so a distant cousin who has tested their siblings and parents.

Can totally understand that Rec, just thought that your DOs might have wanted to load them up to a site like 23&me to see if they had any American Cousins