Jewish matchmaking

[LadyWithLapdog]

I’ve been avoiding the C* today so got drawn into this programme. I’m not one for reality TV, usually. Before I waste more time on it, can someone tell me if this is real or 100% scripted? I realise some of it is scripted and rehearsed, but is it all? Thanks.

That was Stuart. He was so shy but firm nevertheless in his liberal values. Good for him. I hope he finds someone nice.

I agree, I want a 2nd series, with an update on the different people and some new ones.

Yes I'm really enjoying this series. I'm particularly enjoying the religious aspect and how it affects their dating.

I started watching this after I finished Indian Matchmaking. (Also Netflix). So if you want more of the same, have a look at that one.

I loved Stuart. Granted, he was a bit odd, but so interesting, gentlemanly and not going around saying he wanted a woman with big boobs. Great sense of humour too, unlike the hotter men who took themselves too seriously.

It is after marriage

But then Fay's mum had her head uncovered? As did Aleeza for most of the show? Maybe they are not that orthodox though?

Not seen the programme yet but if they wear a good sheitel (wig) you need to look closely to tell, especially on TV (easier in person generally)

Oh, I see. I think Aleeza's hair may have been a fabulous wig. It was lovely and glossy.

Definitely wigs! They’re always shiny & glossy (and they’re vvv expensive).

I went down a rabbit hole about head coverings for women. Seems some politics (as in disagreements) about the use of wigs, eg if too true to life it defeats the purpose of modesty. Really interesting. Going by some of the shallow men on the programme who get excited or not by hair (I’m looking at you “I don’t date girls with curly hair” man), I’m not surprised.

I wish that orthodox AMA had started up again as I now have questions. Why are the Israelis so fixated on only wanting Israelis? Are the Israelis generally less Orthodox? (Not including the hard core ones in Jerusalem)

I enjoyed the show it reminded me of Millionaire Matchmaker and I used to love that.

I saw this thread and had to start watching it and OMG that Ori fella is an awful arse!

@banivani Ori doesn’t have many fans on here. I know he’d find it hard to believe.

I loved this but mainly because I find Judaism really interesting and it's such a rich culture.

I have a couple of friends who would describe themselves as culturally Jewish but not overly religious. Another who is from a very liberal family and is practicing but goes to a liberal synagogue.

There's a Netflix film Unorthodox which is amazing about a woman leaving her community.

There's also some documentaries around which I've enjoyed but couldn't find from a quick google.

I liked Unorthodox and I might watch it again if it’s still around.

You need to watch Shtisel on Netflix. Absolutely brilliant series about a fictional ultra orthodox family in Jerusalem. Covers matchmaking and arranged marriages etc

@Padstow58 I’ve just started Indian Matchmaking. It’s good (I’m only at episode 1).

Thanks for the Shtisel recommendation @lazymum99 I hadn’t heard of it.

I have a day without kids or DH today, nobody to tut or roll their eyes at my viewing habits 😁

Feel free to ask, I am from an orthodoxy background

🙄 orthodox!

Not Orthodox (more traditional) but I daresay that Israeli vs. not is more cultural than anything. Percentages of Orthodox vs traditional vs secular vary by country but they also have different 'flavours' so to speak -- a secular New York Jew is different from a secular Tel Aviv Jew.

What happens about same-sex relationships? Presumably accepted if you’re a secular family but not if very religious?

Can you work at all on a Saturday, let’s say you work shifts as a nurse or in a shop?

1. Not if you're Orthodox. Non-Orthodox synagogues accept same sex couples and perform weddings (except in Israel but that's a whole other issue).

2. If you're Shabbat-observant, no working. You have to arrange your shifts around Shabbat. there's special rules and exemptions in an emergency.

@knitnerd90 thanks for that. Regarding Saturdays, would that fall under protected characteristics in the workplace?

BTW Indian Matchmaking is really good too. I watched the first whole series yesterday. Set in both the USA and India. I was surprised at how little religion played a part, maybe because they are already much more divided into Hindu, Sikh etc, so it’s assumed you follow that.

As I understand it (not an employment law expert) it is a protected characteristic in UK law but you aren't absolutely guaranteed the right to Shabbat observance -- there are ways for the employer to show that it's objectively justified. In the USA the exemption is quite narrowly tailored (thanks to a 1970s Supreme Court decision). It's being challenged there and is a bit of a mess; the old decision really gave employers a very large loophole.

In Israel there's a whole set of rules and rabbinic opinions about working on Shabbat since of course observant Jews a much larger share of the population and so it's not always possible to be off.

That’s interesting @knitnerd90 I remember when I was a student we had a colleague who was 7th day Adventist and couldn’t sit exams if they were on a Saturday. She even deferred some for August (as re-site). It was different times; also a different country.