Strictly '22 Thread 5 — Grab your popcorn and snuggle up with Neil in the back row of the cinema...

[PolkadotsAndMoonbeams]

Previous thread here

As always, a reminder that this is a SPOILER-FREE THREAD, so please don't comment on the result before the result show.

an orgiastic sex commune with Kai, Nikita, Giovanni, Gorka and, what the hell, throw in Karen and Jowita, too.

Where do I sign up?!

Can Vito be invited too??

I’m really not getting the Vito love 😂

He just looks pale to me and no sex appeal whatsoever 😂

I see we've moved on to sex communes and I'm a bit late for critiquing the weekend's actual show, but I'm going to anyway:

Loved Motsi's hair.
Nikita and Carlos tango/rumba was HAWT.
Liked Jayde's Flashdance. So good to see a bigger woman in revealing clobber.
Tony Adams. God love him, he's game Thought Anton was cruel telling Katya he felt her pain, and to her credit she didn't seem to know quite what to do with that comment.
Nikita and Ellie: I'm a layperson and can't comment on the footwork that was supposedly so bad, but I liked the look of it, the staging/lighting and costumes and they are delightful to watch together. Ellie has so much energy and charisma/charm and very expressive hands and arms. Nikita has that quality of becoming absolutely compelling when he dances.
Liked Kym's Charleston. Good on her, I thought.
Ellie T was a bit painful to watch IMO and I'm surprised she wasn't in the DO; I wouldn't have thought people would vote for her on the strength of that dance, and is she that well-known?
Matt was a bit poor but I'm strangely warming to him.
Fleur was good but I'm a bit tired of them going down the romantic ethereal route now. Give her another wild Latin! Vito seems sweet.
Giovanni and Ritchie were sabotaged by whoever gave them that theme and costumes, IMO, although I don't know why; I liked Ritchie. I thought their dance was quite good, more entertaining than many.
Helen and Gorka seem to be being storyboarded as this year's Gio and Rose; all about romance and sweetness. They're cute but a bit dull.
Hamza and Jowita got a very very raw deal with a rumba (!) to such a dreary song but credit to her, she made something out of it. I find him so likeable and watchable. He's a lovely soul.
Don't get the fuss about Jamie. Bloke dancing at a mate's wedding.
Tyler and Dianne's Charleston was very good but I still can never remember who he is.
I like Carlos but I also find Molly utterly forgettable. Did they do West Side Story?

Is that everyone?
Even by Strictly standards I do think there's a lot of forgettables in the cast this year. I'm largely watching for Hamza, Ellie S, Nikita, and Karen and Jayde.

Oh no Will has been poorly, hindering his training this week. He sounds really croaky on ITT I hope he's ok for Saturday and his marks aren't too detrimental as a result

Will does not sound good. Thank god he doesn't have a quickstep or Charleston. Fancy having to do a sexy or romantic rumba when you just want to have a good cough and a Lemsip.

Especially after covid and stuff! I almost think he should have been signed off the show for a week. Because poor Nancy might catch it too, or other cast members and be dropping like flies

HA 😂

Johannes doing a Viennese waltz to Boom-Bang-a-Bang ...... while dressed as a farmer. Okaaaaayyy. Hmmmmmm.

Is an abattoir involved? The boom and the bang of a bolt-gun? The booming bittern? A sheep called Lulu getting a booming good banging from a randy ram? I need to get into the mind of the producers.

Oh, and Kym doing an airline themed samba. Surely doomed to be compared to the utter camp riot that was Anton and Ruth Langsford's samba.

Anton and Ruth's samba was joyous indeed a camp riot !

And she certainly won't need her ex sneering that she would have been out really early if people hadn't felt sorry for her.

@Emotionalsupportviper

I hope that doesn’t happen although he sounds like a proper arse. She certainly seems to be holding it together, and to her credit - assuming I haven’t missed anything - she’s not gone down the route of badmouthing him so far.

Wills def got covid lol

I take it they're no longer isolating?

Katya didn't sound great either

That was my thought and why didn’t they sign him off for a week and give him a pass?? Surely training whilst ill is really not a good idea

I don't think Argentine tango is classified as Latin; it's sort of in a category on its own. It certainly isn't all about weight forward and hip action like the standard Latin ones. I think she'll do it quite well.

Is there a full list of this week's dances yet?

Yeah Argentine Tango is in neither category I think Ballroom tango orginates from the Argentine tango but it's a stand alone dance.

Yep, there are five ballroom, five Latin and five speciality now.

Ballroom: Waltz, Tango, Viennese Waltz, Foxtrot, Quickstep

Latin: Cha cha, Samba, Rumba, Paso doble, Jive

Speciality: American Smooth, Argentine Tango, Charleston, Couple's Choice, Salsa

Ellie and Nikita: Salsa to I Love Your Smile by Shanice slow?
Ellie and Johannes: Viennese Waltz to Boom Bang A Bang by Lulu bloody lulu
Fleur and Vito: Argentine Tango to Paint it Black by Ciara bit early but gd track
Helen and Gorka: Paso Doble to Tamacun by Rodrigo y Gabriela choon
Jayde and Karen: AmSmooth to Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler boak
Kym and Graziano: Samba to Volare by Gipsy Kings choon
Molly and Carlos: Cha Cha Cha to Do What I Do by Lady Bri bit modern
Hamza and Jowita: Salsa to Ecuador by Sash! featuring Rodriguez erm
James and Amy: QS to Don't Get Me Wrong by The Pretenders Harry, Aliona
Matt and Nadiya: Jive to All Shook Up by Paul McCartney meh
Tony and Katya: American Smooth to With A Little Help From My Friends by Joe Cocker meh
Tyler and Dianne: Couples' Choice: Garage Megamix erm
Will and Nancy: Rumba to The Joker and The Queen by Ed Sheeran featuring Taylor Swift twee

Based on music alone, I am putting Helen then Fleur at the top this week. Don't care about any of the others and even Jojo as a farmer does not get me excited.

Graziano should have kept his Phil Oakey hair.

and at the final. Better quality version.

i loved that quickstep so much, but rewatching all the way to the video, with the judges comments and the whole cast gathered round for the post-dance chat with Tess reminded me of what a great series that was all round.

Chelsee, Nancy, Jason, Robbie Savage, Anita Dobson, Rory Bremner escaping from the comedy straightjacket and being allowed to do rather good straight ballroom, Monkseal's portrayal of Alex Jones as an eight year old allowed to stay up past her bedtime, Edwina Currie being unceremoniously evicted first. The only downside was the show's insistence that Russell Grant was hilarious (he really wasn't).

I loved that quickstep. And you can really see from that how different it looks when the male celeb is actually leading, rather than just remembering his steps.