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Telly addicts

Help Me Love My Baby - C4 8pm

40 replies

FatBellyHoHoHo · 03/12/2007 19:32

anyone going to watch it?

New mother Zoe is a brave woman. Despite overwhelming guilt, she admits she feels nothing for her six-month-old baby Izzy. In fact, she literally keeps her at arm's length and, as a result, Izzy avoids looking at her mother. It's both extraordinary and tragic to see a child this young deliberately turning its head away so that there's no chance of eye contact with the person who brought her into the world. This straightforward documentary, the fi rst of two focusing on mothers who haven't bonded with their babies, shows the pair starting an emotionally painful series of therapy sessions with Dr Amanda Jones, a gently spoken woman with empathy positively oozing from her. Mothers of young children will probably be riveted, but almost everyone will be interested in seeing how one person's behaviour patterns can affect another.

OP posts:
meglet · 03/12/2007 19:43

I'm just cooking my dinner and doing a few chores (MN-ing ) before it's on!

lisad123 · 03/12/2007 20:22

watching it and nearly sobbing. Im sobbing for that poor little mite and her brave mummy

pooka · 03/12/2007 20:23

Am watching. Feel so sad for them both. Am rooting for them to be able to overcome the rough start.

WhenScoobyGotStuckUpTheChimney · 03/12/2007 20:24

I am watching it & feel so sad for both of them, blimey it can be so hard.

lisad123 · 03/12/2007 20:24

she is such a lovely baby really hoping they do well.

Pinkchampagne · 03/12/2007 20:27

This is hard to watch because it reminds me of how things were when DS2 was a little baby.

pooka · 03/12/2007 20:28

Oh Pinkchampagne. That must have been so hard, and you must find this hard to watch.

BitTiredNow · 03/12/2007 20:29

yes, me too , Pink. I cannot watch but cannot not, iyswim. That therapist is amazing. I would love to train to do something similar. I would cry, but it is too sad, do you get my drift?

meglet · 03/12/2007 20:29

That baby is soooo cute!

same here pink think me and DS had a touch of it too. DS wouldn't look at me at 2 weeks old and i remember wailing 'he doesn't like me!'. Getting much better now though.

PaulaYatesbiggestfan · 03/12/2007 20:43

gorgeous gorgeous baby

PaulaYatesbiggestfan · 03/12/2007 20:59

why did she not love her at the start? sorry missed start

was she ok with other daughter?

pooka · 03/12/2007 21:01

I missed the very start, but got the impression that she had a really scary birth and later had post-natal depression.
I am so glad that they made such good progress, though still have a knot in my stomach because felt so bad for them both.
And then when they have the voiceover about the next programme... not sure if I can bear to watch.

meglet · 03/12/2007 21:14

paula I think she was ok with her other daughter.

robinredbreast · 03/12/2007 21:23

also it was because her baby was a premmie and it was v trumatic for her, and her bad realationship with her own mum.
welldone for dealing with it zoe
you've done so well

PaulaYatesbiggestfan · 03/12/2007 21:34

yeah zoe!!!!
fabbo on you - i too had shit relationship with own mother and worried that it would impact on my parenting
luckily i stopped my minimal and unnatural contact with her 10 years ago and have not looked back

FatBellyJones · 03/12/2007 22:32

That programme could have been about me and my daughter.. except she's 17 now and we never managed to fix things properly

robinredbreast · 03/12/2007 22:38

hey fbj its never too late you know, what are the probs

FatBellyJones · 03/12/2007 22:44

she self harms to a life threatening extent, eating disorders, she's very chaotic, bpd, lots of problems with self esteem n stuff like that and it's all my fault

robinredbreast · 03/12/2007 22:48

hey fbj im sure its not, is bpd bi poloar?

have you spoken to your dd,im sure you have, was there any traumatic events that have happened in her life?

robinredbreast · 03/12/2007 22:49

fbj i had a really bad realtionship with my mum, esp at that age, but im happy to say it has vastley vastely improved, you can change things if you really really want to

FatBellyJones · 03/12/2007 22:52

borderline personality disorder. We are addressing things, we have regular therapy and stuff together but it would have been so good to have sorted it when she was little. I didn't know I had PND, I just knew I felt rotten and the baby didn't like me.. she'd settle for anyone but me. It's going to be a long haul but I hope we'll come thru at the other end positively.

I so wish I'd known back then even some of what I know now.

robinredbreast · 03/12/2007 22:56

don't be so hard on yourself, you are seeking help and that is fantastic
you have to start somewhere don't you
17 years ago pnd wasn't as commonly talked about they way it is today, so you didn't know what was happening to you

do you do any fun things together?

FatBellyJones · 03/12/2007 23:01

That's exactly it robinredbreast, it wasn't common and I thought I just felt rotten because of it being such a difficult birth etc.

We do have a good time together but it's a very fragile relationship and we still don't have the right kind of bond, if that makes sense. We are very close though so it's not all bad

robinredbreast · 03/12/2007 23:11

yes how where you to know what was happening to you

ill post back on here 2moro ill tell you some bits about me and my mum if it helps gotta get some sleep now nite nite

FatBellyJones · 04/12/2007 08:07

Thanks, I'd appreciate that. You can email me if you're not comfortable to share on here so publicly, my email addy is banana dot toffee @ gmail dot com

Sorry for disappearing, dp started lurking and I'm not ready to discuss this with him yet so I just shut down