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Original poster

My Unorthodox Life on Netflix

97 replies

EachandEveryone · 18/07/2021 22:41

Surely its not just me addicted?😃 shes amazing really what shes achieved after coming out of an ultra orthodox life. She seems to have gone the complete opposite. Its interesting and trashy at the same time, right up my street😂

OP posts:
Original poster
EachandEveryone · 22/07/2021 20:10

The British guy who the youngest is dating I swear Ive seen him before but I cant have!

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AdditionalCharacter · 22/07/2021 20:15

Just finished it.

I found it interesting. Her son Aron, would like to see what he decides to do once he is old enough. He must feel quite conflicted with it all. His siblings all giving it up, and he still living the majority as orthodox.

Why does Robert say birth person and not birth mother/parent/woman? Is it some form of wokeness? Like not to assume their gender despite her giving birth (so a woman?).

MayflowerMaisie · 22/07/2021 21:20

Just binge watched this yesterday.
I assumed the “birth person” thing was a mixture of wholeness and not wanting to further upset his mum, by referring to her as birth “mother”
I thought his brother was very harsh with him.

Something about “Sarah” seemed off to me. But can’t quite put my finger on it.

MayflowerMaisie · 22/07/2021 21:20

Wokeness not wholeness!

FlyingBattie · 22/07/2021 21:23

I thought the "birth person" thing may perhaps be being very careful around language- his mother didn't seem on board with the whole thing, so calling her "birth mother/birth mom" may have really upset her?
"Birth person" makes it a lot less personal.
(I'm assuming of course, because we can't possibly know his motivations)

FlyingBattie · 22/07/2021 22:02

Just came back to add another spoiler re: the last episode!

Miriam telling her dad she was concerned he was "infatuated" with his girlfriend/fiancee rather than being actually in love.
No adult I know would have taken that so well as he did!

jay55 · 22/07/2021 22:22

I think Robert's use of birth person was his way of staying detached from the situation, if it went badly or she didn't want to know. As well as protecting his family from being hurt.

LavenderAskew · 22/07/2021 22:28

He was saying birth mother (well at least once).until he spoke to his mum and then she was saddened by it - so I do think it was to be detached and protect her.

He said birth mother again at the end after his brother came to New York

FlyingBattie · 22/07/2021 22:28

@jay55

I think Robert's use of birth person was his way of staying detached from the situation, if it went badly or she didn't want to know. As well as protecting his family from being hurt.
Oh thats a good point- "person" is way more impersonal than "woman" even is.

More spoilers:
I'm glad he found her and was able to lay some things to rest with her. I can understand why his family would be hurt, but I think it was very important for him to understand his biological roots a little. After all, we all want that, that's why genealogy is such a big thing! And it sounds like he was adopted into a wonderful and loving family, and I hope they both found some closure from the meeting.

Travielkapelka · 22/07/2021 22:41

They were definitely a step up from modern orthodox, they were charedi but definitely not to shtisel level. I suspect the ex husband has stepped back a bit because girlfriend was, I would say. More on the modern orthodox level as otherwise I can’t see that they would even eat on Julia’s house. Sylvio seems lovely and I’m obsessed with Robert but not sure why he’s there all the time.

Carriemac · 23/07/2021 07:26

I enjoyed this but Julia is a bully.

AdditionalCharacter · 23/07/2021 21:23

Yes that makes sense. Having been adopted myself, I didn't find using bio mum/dad a problem to say, but everyone is different.

BiscuitLover09876 · 25/07/2021 19:43

Still love this and agree there are some questions that need answering and does feel a bit staged. But it's reality TV and I like it a lot more than anything else in that genre. I really like all the kids.

Ben - I can't decide. At first I thought Julia was a bit harsh on him and he really has given up a lot. Then I thought about the fact he's just moved into being a billionaire and really does an incredible life, so I wonder how nice he is really and whether he's just putting up with it all because he is getting a lot out of it! I found him a bit passive aggressive at times. Still, he doesn't have much of his own so is probably quite insecure. (I'm not at the end yet)

BiscuitLover09876 · 25/07/2021 19:44

I love Robert but can see why sylvio would want a bit of time with him not there!

BiscuitLover09876 · 25/07/2021 19:45

And birth person made sense to. He was trying very hard not to relate her to being a 'mum's, especially with how difficult his family were being about the whole thing. I thought they were quite unfair about it all.

Blackopal · 25/07/2021 19:55

Yes, I had been wondering how it was possible to go from down trodden housewife to mega success like that.

I liked Silvio generally, however, the way he kisses her is like he is trying to suck her whole into his mouth.

RubyFakeLips · 26/07/2021 11:20

Loved this and as a Jew, although my immediate family are complete, non frummers even I was fascinated.

Previous posters asking about their speech. Part of me thinks its just very New York, but my grandparents always swore profusely in yiddish. Yiddish has fantastic swearing options and to me the all speaking over each other, with family being quite controlling and forthright is very culturally (ashkenzi) Jewish.

I think some posters are seeing the defining lines between ultra orthodox and modern orthodox in a black and white way when there are lots of groups and just individual families who are shades of grey. Julia hasn't said they were Satmar which is what Unorthodox is based on. Satmars are quite specific.

Peter Santenello did a whole YouTube series on NYC Hasidic Jews and Sarah Malky might be of interest to you. You can see an insight into their daily lives.

TellMeHowYouMet · 26/07/2021 20:21

I found this fascinating but very set up.

Robert was my favourite. The reunion with his birth mother was quite moving.

Original poster
EachandEveryone · 26/07/2021 21:58

I wonder if that book is closed now for him? Do we reckon there will be a second season?😃

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ElephantOfRisk · 27/07/2021 12:25

I'm not finished yet but have gone from really liking Julia to not - it's all fascinating though.

I also don't think it needs to be as extreme as Unorthodox to still be suffocating and very anti female. The clothing expectations, the lack of personal autonomy and education (though to be fair the boys don't score well in that case either).

The nepotism though! I don't know how they get away with that and it be tolerated. The bit where Bat was essentially trying to school a model in how to pose for instagram and undoubtedly scoring a huge salary for doing so was very cringy. At the end of the day though I think her (or Sylvio) are already funding their extravagant lifestyle so she might as well have them do something for it.

TheNightWatch · 27/07/2021 12:28

I know i wondered how the other designers felt having to mentor that grown man whos never had an inkling to be a fashion designer. I mean is that possible?

ElephantOfRisk · 27/07/2021 12:42

@TheNightWatch

I know i wondered how the other designers felt having to mentor that grown man whos never had an inkling to be a fashion designer. I mean is that possible?
It just makes me sad for all the talented, hardworking folk looking for a break that miss out while these children are indulged. Don't get me wrong, they all came across as lovely and I wish them all well. Schlomo seems particularly sweet and I guess if I was in the same position I would want to do anything to give my children successful happy lives but it's not the real world is it? They talk about moving away from the religious world to live in the real world but they really aren't. That whole bit with Sarah, giving here a makeover etc. Then what is she going to do when she goes back home, wipe of the makeup and hide her hair and the clothes? What she needed was practical help and the realistic news about how so many end up on drugs/committing suicide. So she refers her on to her (teenage?) daughter if she wants help finding a flat etc. I thought at one point she'd be giving her a job. This was surely more of a case to say to the office manager about any entry level vacancies?

Anyway probably getting too invested....Grin

TheNightWatch · 27/07/2021 12:46

How on earth was she going to pay for a flat? I didnt really beleive Sara tbh. How do you explain getting into a chauffeur driven car when the community sees everything?

ElephantOfRisk · 27/07/2021 12:51

@TheNightWatch

How on earth was she going to pay for a flat? I didnt really beleive Sara tbh. How do you explain getting into a chauffeur driven car when the community sees everything?
yes, i agree. Maybe there was more to it as times etc didn't seem to be discussed so maybe it was talked about off-line and she got picked up from a train station or something. It was also the comment about her needing to get back and Julie then almost reluctantly saying "oh do you need a lift?" etc. It was like, well you aren't as slim and dynamic and enthusiastic about vibrators enough so I'm done now - shoo!
ElephantOfRisk · 27/07/2021 12:55

Oh and obviously they had to put her in jeans just to make a point when as it was a makeover they could have shown her something that actually suited her even if it didn't fit the agenda?

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