Sick to death of husband's viewing choices

[DailyCandy]

Something is seriously wrong with him.
It's always 'How it's Made' or 'How do they do it' or some other manufacturing show (he just clicked his fingers at me to get the remote back) OR car shows. Constantly.

We have 1 TV.

Ugh. My ex used to change channel if I dared leave the room to get a drink or go to the toilet. Yet if I tried the same thing would get arsey.

One of many reasons he's an ex.

There's a big slice of men who love these shows, they love facts and to see things being broken down and re-made, it makes the world understandable and controllable.

Could you put the garage into a man cave and put the TV in there, that's what he'd really like ... then you can get a new one in the sitting room

Please, mine will change the channel and then leave the room himself. The sofa is v big but I shift out of my comfy blanketed position to retrieve it.

There’s no end to this. Of course I have argued, stood my ground.. ranted. And yes I do get to watch what I want on occasion (when he’s out bike riding). But it’s v uneven. The default is that he chooses.

To retrieve the remote I mean! Not the sofa!

I never watch TV with my DH.
It's the secret to a happy marriage IMHO.

musicalfrog
I disagree with those saying get another TV or use your laptop. Watching separate things every evening won't exactly strengthen your bond!

Me & DP don't like the same type of films at all.

When he's watching a film I wander off and read, or watch a film on my laptop, or browse the net, or play music. Whatever. Or sometimes I'm watching TV and if it's nothing he's interested he goes and does his own thing.

It's just no biggie, in a good relationship there are many ways to bond.

Watching TV together, squabbling over who watches what - what's the actual point of years of misery over that? Life's way too short for some things.

OP scenario reminds me of living at home with parents way back when it was 1 TV in household and you had to watch what Dad watched. No thanks, we aren't children anymore.

Hope you find some peace OP. & A nice new laptop or IPad.

@DrMadelineMaxwell

Think yourself lucky... dh has discovered youtube via the firestick so I'm subjected to hours of diy people, electronics videos and some Australian bloke who unlocks drains... hours and hours of it. Bring back Ed China, all is forgiven!

I went to school with Edd China!

That sounds awful op.

We have 2 TVs, don’t like his programmes and he doesn’t like mine. I would not respond well to finger clicking and would deeply resent that he feels he’s king of the tv. What happens when you say you will give him the remote when your programme has finished?

DH goes upstairs to watch TV, he likes snooker, cycling, old films and TV series like Minder and the joy of painting. There is no way I would be sharing a tv and watching these. He also dislikes most of the stuff I watch.

It’s horror films in my house.

My daughter wants to watch reality tv shows to
Keep up with the playground conversations but he rolls his eyes and will always ask “do you really want to watch this” or if something like east Enders comes on he has remote in hand, guide on tv asking if he want to watch “this”
Said with complete disdain.

It’s a nightmare. He’s a snob when it comes to tv and music so if popular culture comes into the home the hipster in him kicks in and he has to put it down and put some random LP of machinery countering away on to retain his perceived credibility.

Sometimes you just need chewing gum for the mind

I envy couples who have the same taste in tv programmes ... we have just sat down to watch a film together but after 20 minutes both of us admitted that we weren't really 'getting it' so I have wondered off to do something else and DH is flicking channels. I think it is best to just admit that you have different tastes and agree to watch separately - although I appreciate it's difficult to compromise on who gets the more 'comfortable' room . After 33 years of married life there is very little that we choose to watch together. And I don't agree with each choosing a different programme and sitting through the other person's choice - I have no wish to watch Dad's Army and my DH doesn't want to watch Downton Abbey. Life's too short to sit through rubbish tv.

He sounds awful OP. I hope he's not such a dick in other areas too, I feel he probably is though.

Genuinely shocked at ‘the default is he chooses’. That’s not how it works. You both get equal choice.

I don't understand really. Obviously it should be half and half choice (assuming no DC). If it isn't you need to talk about it with him. You say you've done this, so why hasn't it changed?

Have you had a calm discussion at a good time (not a stressed time)? Have you asked him why he thinks his choice is more important than yours? Have you asked why he thinks you are inferior to him? Does he answer? Tell him his behaviour is bullying and completely incompatible with a loving relationship - does he want a loving relationship or a relationship where he bullies you? The answers to these questions will tell you whether there is a future or not.

If he is literally perfect in every other way and this is just some strange block he has about TV in particular, tell him you can't live with this setup. If he can't share like a proper adult, the TV will have to go.

I used to hide the remote from my dad. He never asked where it was but would start moving stuff in a very blokey way - really pathetically. Mum used to grin at me.

If mum was already watching something, he would stand at the doorway huffing and puffing then slam the door as he marched out.

I can't get past the clicking his fingers at you. Mine would have the remote thrown at him if he thought he could click his fingers at me.

Or even that his choice automatically outweighs yours or a joint choice

It sounds like we all live with the same DHs! I'm subjected to Car SOS, Salvage Hunters, Repair shop, Bangers & Cash every bloody evening! I don't mind too much because I'm usually having a nosey on Rightmove anyway.

He doesn't click his fingers at me though, that is dreadful.

I would far rather watch the lovely Ed China fixing an old banger than Corrie or Eastenders, so I would get on well with your DH, OP.

You need to have words withhim, though. He shouldn’t get to monopolise the TV. Unless you want to watch bloody soaps, obv...

DH and I rarely watch TV together as we have very different tastes. I don't like his stuff (Salvage Hunters etc) and I can't sit and enjoy my stuff if I know he hates it. It works for us.

Susi! Well I never! You’re welcome to him.

Perhaps I’m no picnic either... In recent independent viewing sessions (when he picked up a book and went to bed ) I tried variously: 1) a documentary about the reintegration of east Germany after the fall of the Berlin Wall; 2) a documentary about a child in the 1600’s who had her whole family killed in witch trials & 3) a documentary about killer kids in the 90’s.

Two sides to every story...

I'm guilty, discovered I can watch youtube on the tv. Million pound yachts, narrowboaters living aboard, some young family doing up an abandoned mansion in the US ( love that one), "Off the ranch" if anyone is interested!

Historical dress making, there is someone looking to reproduce a famous embroidered dress from the late 19th century called the Peacock Dress. stunning but she started over 9 years ago, she is on at least her 4th attempt.

I so want to see what this dress would have looked like in it's glory. The original is on display but has completed faded, and any silver thread on these type of dresses have long turned black.

But best of all, and really, really driving my Dh mad is rain & thunder walks. There is a 2 hour NY one that is amazing.

I have also walked parts of the island in Cambodia our daughter was living and working on until late last year.

@musicalfrog

I disagree with those saying get another TV or use your laptop. Watching separate things every evening won't exactly strengthen your bond! Why not take turns, your choice one evening, his the next. That way you can both be involved in each other's interests.

I disagree with everything you’ve said.

@DailyCandy

Susi! Well I never! You’re welcome to him.

Perhaps I’m no picnic either... In recent independent viewing sessions (when he picked up a book and went to bed ) I tried variously: 1) a documentary about the reintegration of east Germany after the fall of the Berlin Wall; 2) a documentary about a child in the 1600’s who had her whole family killed in witch trials & 3) a documentary about killer kids in the 90’s.

Two sides to every story...

Omg. Can I come and watch Tv with you? All these programmes are right up my street. Especially #2

Please can I ask you what channels?