Love Island ♥️🌴21 - what’s Michael gonna do?!

[Wrongdissection]

New thread!

"Women’s aid and abuse ? . Omg it’s a fucking programme."

I was glad when Women's Aid CEO released a statement, in response to Joe's behaviour:

"Controlling behaviour is never acceptable, and with Love Island viewers complaining to Ofcom in record numbers about Joe’s possessive behaviour towards Lucie, more people are becoming aware of this and want to challenge it.

Abusive relationships often start off with subtle signs of control, so it’s important that it is recognised at an early stage. Love Island viewers are now very vocal in calling out unhealthy behaviour between couples on the show, and this is a positive development,"

I found that really uncomfortable to watch at the time, and I was glad it was pointed out. It doesn't mean that Joe was some awful abuser - just that his controlling behaviour was being recognised, and wasn't allowed to pass as acceptable.

I read it in this [[www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/reports/a28067669/love-island-joe-lucie-controlling-behaviour-womens-aid-warning/
Cosmo article]]

At the end of the article it says:

"The fierce reaction about Joe's behaviour towards Lucie goes to show, then, that programmes like Love Island are going some way to helping young people identify exactly what is healthy and unhealthy in relationships, which can only be a positive thing."

And this is where it's tricky I think

1. I've hated Michael's treatment of Amber, and it should be called out.
2. When we turn 'real-life' into entertainment, we are messing with real people - in heavily edited shows. It's not reality, and we're messing with people's lives. It's hard on the contestants when they are in there, and when they come out.

Probably the whole concept of the show is flawed now. There must be a more positive way of showing young people what is and what isn't healthy in relationships.

Michael has been seething with Amber since post Casa Amor, and his obsession with ‘not letting her win’ and determination to badmouth her to everyone and portray her as over the top, dramatic and ‘chaldish’ so that he can justify his own decision to jump ship (which he’d made within the first 30 seconds of meeting Joanna let’s be honest) have made really unpleasant viewing. It’s the anger he’s continually directed towards her which has been really worrying, and it was really really clear last night.

I completely agree and posted previously that people should have left the Michael and Amber thing alone, I think he should have been taken at his word when he said he was no longer interested and I think the way the eviction was designed almost specifically to get rid of Joanna and make him and Amber a thing again was really shitty all round. BUT he had a choice if he really wanted to make it clear he was only interested in Joanna, and that choice was to leave, and he didn’t make it. It’s absolutely fine for him to be annoyed that people keep pushing the idea of him still being interested, it’s absolutely fine for him to take Amber to one side and explain calmly that he’s not and that he really wants that line of discussion to stop - it is NOT fine for him to bark at her to ‘sit down’ (which he did in front of everyone and not just once) and then speak to her so abruptly whilst visibly vibrating with anger.

Joanna called him a snake, grabbed his face and demanded he leave with her ‘sunshine’. Amber has been the picture of composure lately compared to that and yet people are still determined to push the face she’s a ‘dangerous’ bully who deserves to be treated like that.

Bandara I have de-lurked as I am completely stunned by your arguments. You seem to think that abuse means "shouting" and it isn't as simplistic as that I'm afraid.

Michael is a nasty bully and I hope Amber stands up for herself tonight. If she does, I'm sure Michael will roll out his usual gas lighting comments and label her "chaldish", when in fact he is the one with the maturity of a 2yr old. He was absolutely raging last night and wanted to humiliate Amber in front of everyone.

"Sit down"

What an arsehole.

Hmm im not sure I agree with the abuse label either.
When he said to Amber to "Sit down" that was done in a shitty tone. But the rest of the actual conversation wasn't done in a threading way or in raised voices or anything like that. It was blunt and it was harsh but it wasn't abusive.
You could also say Amber was a gaslighter since she was saying to the girls hebhad not conclusively said things were over, when anyone with half a brain knew they were. It was like she needed it absolutely spelling out which is very weird since we know she's pretty switched on.
He didn't shout when the girls came back from casa amor, did he? I dont remember that. He had been getting fed up with amber's juvenile and bitchy behaviour around the danny/yewande thing so maybe he did just get over her and fancy Joanna.
Don't see anything wrong with that.
Let's remember Amber's "is there a problem" "don't look at me" comments then physically walking over to the kitchen to carry on coaxing and prodding Danny to get him to snap. There's things she's done in that house that are worse than how Michaels acted. Although I stop think he's a twat.

No one is saying amber has been an angel and when she's behaved badly it's been called out. What's being said is just because she previously acted badly doesn't mean Michael has the right to abuse her. It simply doesn't.

And abuse isn't just about shouting at someone as a pp said.

I think Michael’s behaviour was potentially abusive. He was so angry. He could have spoken to her when he was calmer. This is how he spoke to a girl he’s not even with any more and who hasn’t done anything wrong and in a TV show surrounded by cameras. I can only imagine what he’d be like behind closed doors.

He was really mean and nasty to Amber and it’s not okay.

It’s not about offending those dealing with more serious abuse. Abuse takes so many different forms.

Amber hasn’t done anything wrong. In that conversation where he later said he’d told her it’s over and she said she hasn’t, that was the truth. I didn’t see it as Amber saying Michael had done something to suggest they should try again but he said he’d told her categorically (as MM would say) that it’s done with them and he didn’t say that. If he has been so clear then why are Amber and the others under the impression there’s still a chance? Even if Amber had been stirring a bit I don’t think she deserved how Michael carried on last night. I hope he’s told by the producers / fellow islanders and I hope he apologises but no doubt it’d just stick the knife in again as he’d apologise but say he really felt he needed to make clear there’s nothing between them.

Micheal was out of order in the way he spoke to amber no doubt I have to say I don't feel it's abuse yet... I can see what those who think it is are saying but I'm not sure he is an arsehole for sure but personally the jury is out on if he is abusive.

First look is out and it looks like amber is pissed of with girls saying in thing and doing another fair play to her.

Compare her to Jordan when Anna originally chose Ovie. He said thats fine it is your choice.

Yes but he hardly sat back and accepted things were over. They carried on and they ended up back together. The difference here is Michael hasn’t gone back to Amber not that Amber has handled it all less well.

I dont agree with 99% vs 1%.

Everyone I spoken to about this today is firmly in the middle.

Amber wasn't to blame. She took some poor advice from the girls.

Michael was wrong to say 'sit down'. That was bang out of order. And while he didnt say anything wrong he came across as he was angry and wound up. Which in itself can be intimidating

Its not surprising that michael is getting wound up with people keep bringing up his chemistry with Amber

Joanna was bang out of order grabbing him like that.

I think labelling Micheal as an abuser is OTT. He doesnt seem nice and he definitely think he could have waited until he was calmer to make clear to Amber it was over.

But when you mix a game show, with a prize at the end, a once in a life time experience, relationships, jealousy, upset you arent always going to see a reflection of how someone is in real life.

Especially the ones that have been having a more stressful time than most.

It is hard to know where being a tit and behaving badly ends and abuse starts.

Most posters thought Belle behaved badly, shouting at Anton in public and hurling abusive words at him, but we didn't think she was abusive.

I think Michael behaved badly and like a prize arse last night, but I'm not sure I would say he was abusive. He was rude and unnecessarily terse but that doesn't make him an an abuser. If Amber had stood her ground instead of dutifully sitting, would that have changed our perception?

I think he is "chaldish" as he likes to call others, insecure and probably suffers a bit from small man syndrome but it is a bit leap to say that he is abusive.

I don't understand why people think Amber has done anything wrong?

Michael dumped her- fine, his right, but then made it out to her fault.
Anna for all the hate she gets on here, never made it Jordan's problem. Still, Amber carried on, got on well with Joanne. Told Michael how she felt. Didn't try and make him do anything though.

None of that is her fault?

No one is saying amber has been an angel and when she's behaved badly it's been called out. What's being said is just because she previously acted badly doesn't mean Michael has the right to abuse her. It simply doesn't.

I completely agree with this.

It’s because it’s Amber, if this was someone else I doubt as many people would be defending Michaels actions and general ‘manner’

I just think he’s a right piece of work, yes we see a heavily edited version but when you actually come across people like him in real life - you can always tell IMO

I hope Michael just leaves. Was there something about not getting expenses if they leave of their own accord, maybe that’s why he’s hanging on. It was a poor decision. I am appalled at his barely controlled anger and I hope Amber is ok. Not her fan till Casa Amor but she’s been much better since.

MM was shit stirring. I hope Maura is as happy as she says with Curtis.

This whole Amber / Michael thing has gone way too too far now.

I'm really surprised he didn't go with Joanna last night as if the relationship was as real as he said and he was that keen, there's no way he'd stay in a villa with essentially his 'ex' rather than go with someone he's got something good with - there is no point staying, it's love island, he found what he's looking for, so off he should go.

I think this gave Amber and everyone false hope that there's still something there.

I think Michael is a very stubborn and angry man, and won't move passed that easily.
I really think he expected firstly, Amber to come back with someone, and then when she didn't, he expected her to fully kick off so he could feel less shitty about his decision.
He has been trying to goad her into having a big kick off and she's handled herself incredibly well I think.

I'd say there really is no going for them now, I at least hope not anyway, would hate to see Amber get back with him when he's treated her so appallingly, she deserves so much more.

Watched first look and really sad none of the girls had her back, really shitty.

Really hope Ovie isn't into the new girls, as him and Amber are just the best!

Everyone I spoken to about this today is firmly in the middle.

How many people have you spoken to about LI today? I find it very unfathomableto have numerous discussions about a reality tv programme. I need to change who I chat to so I can have numerous discussions or have numerous people to discuss this with 😀

So first look would have us believe everyone is buddies with Michael and after meddling in her business for so long Maura isn’t backing Amber.... let’s see if that is the case.

New guy going to the shag pad for a non bubbly hot tub, wonder who he will call upstairs?

just realised i've basically repeated what @AliasGrape said further up, but you put it better, ha!

He hasn't abused her imo.

I agree Michael was out of order they way he acted last night. You could see it in the face of others too. Yes hes perfectly entitled to tell Amber how he feels but he was abrupt and unpleasant about it.

I really think it was damage limitation for Joanna's benefit had she been watching. He knows he fucked up by not leaving with her so this was his way of trying to get his point across.

He will never get over being called whipped. Horrible guy.

I'd agree that it's not abuse, but he has treated her poorly considering she hasn't actually done anything wrong.

She can't help have feelings for him.
She's done very little about that fact, and been respectful and stayed back until persuaded otherwise, and was nothing but nice to Joanna, which is not an easy thing to do.

The thing is Amber is sort of acting like an abuse victim, not in the way that she is "acting" but she is constantly being nice to him and she even apologised at one point for something that didn't need it, yet I don't think he's properly apologised to her and been so angry with her...
so it's not abuse per se, but Michael is being angry and nasty and Amber up until yesterday felt like she had done something wrong when in fact she hadn't.
Not clear cut abuse but definitely along the lines of gaslighting perhaps?

I dunno it's a fine line and got a bit messy.

Michael really should have left yesterday and this would all be much less confusing.

Girls don’t help each other in these situations “he still likes you” or words to that effect. He had to make it clear because no one was listening! He just went about it the wrong way! Even if he isn’t totally into Joanna, it doesn’t mean he likes Amber. He got pissed off with her behaviour at the beginning (and rightly so as she was a pain in the arse) and binned her off for that, not because he didn’t find her attractive. Since then the likes of Anna her little puppet Jordan and others have been stirring the shit.

Michael goes around (in my eyes) just barely concealing his underlying anger and he makes me feel quite uncomfortable to watch. I was in an abusive relationship and he’s reminded me of that several times. Amber was very shaken up after that run in last night.

And amber has also been very nasty to people lets remember that.

She insulted Joanna, she called Joanna a "dead ting".
She was nasty to Danny, " your word haha your word! That doesnt mean much now does it".
She was nasty to Michael when she was with him. Anytime that he said he was upset about something, she turned it around in such a temper that he would have to say she was right to avoid an argument. Remember she said that she was in charge, one of the tweets said that he was whipped.
And he said he had to bite his tongue with her to stop her losing her temper. That is why he left her

What a very ‘yea but she made him do it’ answer sure, amber has behaved badly in the past but that doesn’t improve or excuse Michaels behaviour now.

Also I can’t get over how awfully Joanna acted, grabbing michaels face like that. Like that’s not okay on any level, why would it even cross your ind to do that?!