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Original poster

Dirty John Netflix SPOILERS thread

117 replies

Aberforthsgoat · 19/02/2019 07:49

As we were discussing on the other thread and a bunch of us had finished but didn’t want to drop spoilers thought I’d start one for spoilers

OP posts:

Inkanta · 20/02/2019 18:58

Apparently Cindi (Debra's sister) had told her mother that her husband (who ended up killing her) had become increasingly controlling. What she wore, where she went etc. She feared for her life. And did her mother support her? Like hell she did.

Bloody hell. Evil comes in all forms.

RhymingRabbit · 20/02/2019 19:37

But where was this respect for absolute forgiveness when she was divorcing her other 4 husbands??

BartonHollow · 20/02/2019 19:40

Helloooo

I did think her mothers approach to and acceptance of the man who had abused and murdered her other daughter spoke volumes about what Debra was taught to expect and be tolerant of as a woman

Very much women are servile to a man

She clearly had already FUBARed both daughters with her approach to men BEFORE John Meehan ever came on the scene

IStillMissBlockbuster · 20/02/2019 19:55

Anytime Inkanta.

Original poster

Aberforthsgoat · 20/02/2019 20:01

The only one I could actually relate to was Jacquelyn/Veronica she was like the voice of reason but she seemed melodramatic because everyone else was so placid

OP posts:

Original poster

Aberforthsgoat · 20/02/2019 20:01

Oh and his first wife. His first wife reacted exactly as I would expect

OP posts:

Roussette · 20/02/2019 20:14

Absolutely.

His first wife was in turn... shocked... angry... then scared of him.

Original poster

Aberforthsgoat · 20/02/2019 20:15

Yes @roussette she was absolutely as you would imagine and her first instinct was to protect their kids

OP posts:

EdgesWedges · 20/02/2019 20:23

Did he really have sex with the male group counsellor?

Budsbegginingspringinsight · 21/02/2019 11:53

The grandma may have been pragmatic looking at the bigger picture...she felt son in law was loved and was father to his son.

Daughter now dead for the boys sake... save the dad.

When she's then saying she also liked John...

The mum on TV series reminded me of mum in, abducted in plain site

Roussette · 21/02/2019 14:01

Budsbegginingspringinsight Yes! DD put me on to abducted in plain sight and I was at how can any parent be so stupid.

CaptainJaneway62 · 21/02/2019 15:13

I watched the documentary Dirty John the Dirty Truth.

I am finding if difficult to actually understand Debra's whole family dynamic with her mother and what happened to her sister.

Also it seemed really odd that she wouldn't listen to anyone especially her daughters and then all of a sudden she seems to have a 'lightbulb moment' and turns into a real detective!....but still goes back to him believing him when he tells her all the charges against him are false!

I don't know how the young daughter managed to fight for her life like she did and I feel sorry for her that she was put in a situation where had to kill or be killed.

Roussette · 21/02/2019 15:26

Totally agree Captain. It is, I think, all to do with Debra's upbringing, the devastating murder of her sister, the forgiveness of that by her Mother and the guilt at maybe not feeling so forgiving of her BIL. Then a string of marriages... who knows what they were like? Five marriages is going some after all...

BartonHollow · 21/02/2019 15:47

Yes, I feel the same way about Terra no charges were filed of course as self defence but she now has to live with the fact that she has killed someone and directly because her mother, even after knowing what he was, placed her in harms way.

In her own words she only survived because her ex boyfriend was a fan of the Walking Dead and she went into "if this was a zombie" mode

Inkanta · 21/02/2019 16:08

Been thinking about it some more

Yes, I think upbringing played a part and the conditioning to be all forgiving. I think her personality comes into it as well. There is something about Debra and lack of maternal instinct to protect her offspring that is odd and unusual. Not altruistic.She didn't need to stay with him for financial reasons.

She seemed to need his admiration and adoration - although we now know it was an act. When you see her sat with her daughter being interviewed, recounting the knife fight incident, she looks detached - she doesn't touch or lean in to her. She is softly spoken but yet distant. ..

Roussette · 21/02/2019 16:39

Yes, and I have to say, I'm not sure she is a woman I could warm to. Perhaps that's a bit mean, but she does seem detached. And far too passive in protecting her children for my liking.

It seems like we're not on our own with our thoughts on why why why. Here is a twitter thread on the series. People are far more harsh than us! In fact, we're positively tame in comparison!

twitter.com/realdirtyjohn/status/1024437514436669442?lang=en

SinkGirl · 21/02/2019 16:43

I read the articles it was based on as I figured a lot of it had to be exaggerated... nope!

Inkanta · 21/02/2019 16:54

No, Debra's not my kind of female friend material. Seems more a man's woman than a woman's woman.

Poor Terra, in those youtube interviews, my heart goes out to her - poor love.

Inkanta · 21/02/2019 16:56

I keep waiting (with my tin hat on) to get bonked on the head for being a bit harsh to Debra!

RhymingRabbit · 21/02/2019 17:06

I normally don't comment on real life people but as the family has opened themselves up so publicly about what happened I want to say - it just doesn't add up! I feel there is a LOT that happened that we don't know about. Like I said upthread - what were Debra's relationships like with her Dad and her 4 previous husbands. Why was she so willing to leave them, but not John? The contrast between D's business intelligence and her emotional intelligence is staggering.

Budsbegginingspringinsight · 21/02/2019 18:01

Agree inkanta she's very detached from her daughter's.

She had so many chances to make the right choices for her off spring... I guess by 4th marriage...

Roussette · 21/02/2019 18:14

I keep waiting (with my tin hat on) to get bonked on the head for being a bit harsh to Debra!

Me too Inkanta but then I read the twitter thread and thought I'm very mild.... AND I go on The Voice and XFactor threads and we are very rude on those!

CaptainJaneway62 · 22/02/2019 18:57

@Rousette @Inkanta @BartonHollow @RhymingRabbit

Tbh I actually wrote a rather long and complicated post about Debra but decided to tone it down and shorten it as I thought I was being too harsh but all your posts have covered all what I am thinking!

Off to have a look at the Twitter thread - to get some more perspective!

CarolDanvers · 23/02/2019 13:24

Started watching last night. John reminded me hugely of my ex husband, which is scary. I don't actually hate Debra, I've known too many passive, paralysed women like her and I understand how it happens. The actress playing her is doing a great job. She's totally nailed the whispery "well I don't know/oh dear/I just don't..." passivity of these kinds of women. I'm angrier with the grandmother! To forgive the murdering fucker that shot your daughter, to the point where she defended him in court?! I hate her.

Budsbegginingspringinsight · 23/02/2019 13:28

Yeah but at what point does the mum actually take responsibility and be a mum protect her DD. In series she says.... John has no one ...

But her DD do

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