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Original poster

Abused by my girlfriend on BBC iPlayer

29 replies

Gomyownway · 18/02/2019 15:01

Anyone else watch this? Brought me to tears a couple of times. Awful what that poor man went through.

OP posts:

Redglitter · 18/02/2019 15:04

Have just read about this. Its horrific the abuse he suffered. So glad shes behind bars & hes safe & well and with his children

WhiteNancy · 18/02/2019 15:19

Powerful documentary, very brave for the family to make it. Am going to ask my teens to watch it - both for their own protection and to look out for their friends.

Acunningruse · 18/02/2019 22:07

This was absolutely shocking. 7 years just doesn't seem long enough for her to be rehabilitated given she didn't show any remorse. Will she be able to see the children once she is free?

foxyknoxy30 · 19/02/2019 09:48

Yes watched it yesterday and was horrific what the poor lad endured i think she got 2x7 years ,one for each crime she admitted to

TheQueef · 19/02/2019 10:52

God this was a hard watch.
So very brave of Alex to make this.
And thank fuck for that neighbour!

Original poster

Gomyownway · 19/02/2019 10:55

whitenancy I definitely think it portrayed well how you can suddenly find yourself in an abusive relationship, and the difficulties you might have leaving that relationship. Not just for men but for victims of all genders.

OP posts:

user1471426142 · 19/02/2019 11:18

It was shocking to watch. You can see how there was the gradual escalation of abuse which made him lose part of himself and how hard it was for him to leave even after some of the horrific injuries he suffered. You can see how it was missed as well though looking at Jordan- she looked childlike and tiny herself.

dogsdinnerlady · 19/02/2019 15:17

She was given 2 jail terms of 7 years each to run concurrently - at the same time - plus 6 months for the coercive control charge. Probably means she will be out in 3 years. I wondered if she would be able to have contact with the children.

JustDanceAddict · 19/02/2019 17:48

I hope not dogs / was shocking to watch

MilkItTilITurnItIntoCheese · 19/02/2019 18:22

Absolutely heartbreaking story. The gradual build Up and the family and friends inability to help him. She just didn't seem to grasp what she was doing to him.

MyDcAreMarvel · 19/02/2019 21:26

She was given 13 years in total so will serve at least 6.5.

Bootsuit · 19/02/2019 22:03

I think she may have already been released. There's a photo of her in the (sorry) daily mail website of her with her new boyfriend.

How shockingly thin he was in the police video footage. I think it should be shown to older teenagers as a warning story.

Original poster

Gomyownway · 19/02/2019 23:14

bootsuit that was before the trial. She’s inside now.

OP posts:

Groovee · 20/02/2019 06:09

I had read of Alex's story on Facebook by Part Time Working Mummy. Horrific. I'm so glad he's safe and bringing up his children.

todayiwin · 20/02/2019 06:15

I agree thank god for that neighbour and the policeman.

This left me feeling troubled after watching.

Tennesseewhiskey · 20/02/2019 06:28

It's a shocking story and I am glad she is is in jail and that he is doing so much better.

However, I really would like to see more things like this that are just about emotional abuse. I mean, if she hadn't have been violent and it had just been the emotional abuse, the controlling.....would she have been done for it.

So many people, of both sexes, are abused horrifically with out violence. I was for 15 years. It's destroyed me. There was one violent act, which was what made me leave in the end. I know several men who are clearly controlled and abused.

But in all the cases in the media, they involve violence. What happens to those whose partners who cross every line apart from that one?

dogsdinnerlady · 20/02/2019 08:02

My DC..she was jailed for 7 years in total - look up the newspaper reports. The two 7-year terms were concurrent.

lachenalia · 20/02/2019 09:41

It was shocking to watch how the abuse increased and her apparent lack of remorse or empathy . Statistically nearly one third of abuse victims are male but virtually all reporting of abuse in the media seems to focus on male on female abuse . Obviously all abuse is vile but it appears that more training and awareness is needed to identify possible abuse of persons of either sex , it seems to be too easy to overlook that "nice gentle little girl " as a possible abuser , especially if the partner is taller and bigger. And if he tries to defend himself and accidently hurts her whilst so doing ,then its her word against his and as he is physically bigger no-one os going to believe he is the victim I do hope the victim in this programme has been able to start to rebuild his life with his family's support .

MyDcAreMarvel · 20/02/2019 09:44

@dogsdinnerlady yes the two 7 years were concurrent but the 6 years wasn’t.

halfchocolate · 20/02/2019 10:10

It was such a shocking and powerful programme. I can't stop thinking about him and his family. He came across as a very gentle man. She was unbelievable when confirming how she had harmed him - completely emotionless and remorseless.

It was very brave of him to tell his story particularly as he has young children who may see the programme one day and see what emotional and physical abuse their mother is capable of.

RiverTam · 20/02/2019 10:13

lach one third of abuse victims are male - but are they being abused by men or women?

WhiteNancy · 20/02/2019 10:26

@MyDcAreMarvel I think the other sentence was six months not years.

Tennesseewhiskey · 20/02/2019 11:10

one third of abusevictimsare male - but are they being abused by men or women?

Why would that matter? The focus should be in the victims. And if it's not going reported, often because the man feels ashamed to be abused by women, how would know the real figure?

However some studies show that women in lesbian relationships are very high risk from DV. If you are an abuser you are an abuser

RiverTam · 20/02/2019 11:19

it matters because the poster that I quoted went on to discuss being able to identify the abusers - and to do that it would be helpful to have the stats on which sex commits the most abuse. I have concerns that people will take this poor man's awful case to mean women are equally capable of violence as men. On an individual level? Yes. On a class level? That's what I'd like to know.

dogsdinnerlady · 20/02/2019 11:31

Seven years and 6 MONTHS.

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