Care - what do you think?

[LanaorAna2]

Can't take my eyes off the horror and how good Alison Steadman is. So authentic.

"Htf she can go missing from a home though? My relative is in a care home and it’s so secure."

Both my grandmothers escaped. One at least then had to put in a more secure home after that. One grandmother was trying to walk home in the snow to 'make lunch'.

I lived the horror with my mum for over ten years. Some care homes are not very secure at all, I can assure you.

I could tell you stories that would make your teeth water.

My mum finally died in July this year and I am certain that the whole experience from trying to get a diagnosis, to getting support at home, then finding a suitable care home, to sitting by her bedside for days whilst she endured end of life 'care' (spit) has taken a good ten years of my life. I look and feel completely buggered.

Sorry - that should read 'taken a good ten years off my life'.

But yes, it did also take ten years of my life too. Which I do not begrudge one iota.

I have bookmarked Care to watch later. I’m going to have to steel myself. Went through five years of dealing with my father’s dementia. Having lost my mum in my twenties, and with a brother with mental health problems, it fell to me to deal with everything. His home, his finances, his car, his family ( who were won’t to pick up the phone from abroad and outline to me what needed of be done- along lines which assumed England was basically stil lin the 1950s), his carers, his hospital appointments, I could go on. He had particularly agitated and aggressive dementia, with wandering, boarding trains, entering peoples homes, kicking off etc. The transport police had me on speed dial. I had a job and two young kids. It certainly aged me. I loved him but when he died it was a relief. In retrospect I am satisfied that I did everything I could along the way, but God it was hard.

bob, I'm so sorry to hear that. I also feel that I did absolutely everything that I could.

It does seem that it always seems to fall to one person, as it did me, despite my older sister being retired and not that far away. I gave up so much (a career in teaching for one) and she and her husband couldn't even be arsed to send flowers to put on my mum's coffin at her funeral. I have washed my hands of her. Fucking tight, heartless, arsehole.

I suspect I may eventually need professional help to deal with the immense amount of anger and bitterness I'm carrying around that shows no sign of dissipating...

Fantastic drama. Thoroughly enjoyed it but heartbroken at just how messed up the system is! We are sending billions of pounds in aid, but we cannot afford to look after our own? People who have paid thousands on NI and tax and that's what they get? I am assuming/hoping you mean Care on BBC1?

That sounds really hard cardigans. I can well understand you not bothering with your sister. I used to look at families where grown up siblings didn't talk and wonder what could have happened. I'm now sure feelings of anger and betrayal over parent care is a frequent reason. I hope that in due time your sense of having supported your mother till the end, in the face of all the difficulties we know so well, will help you regain some inner peace.

Re professional help, I went for 18 months of counseling in the middle of it all, and it definitely helped. Thought I'd just go for 8 sessions!

twitter.com/mahamummy/status/1074651937918910464

Mrs Wood
‏ @mahamummy
5h5 hours ago

By not OK ing the funding for transport, Westminster social services mean for Dad to be taken to the Home tomorrow while i go under anaesthetic. I will not forgive myself if I miss him going for care. They lied about the days
1 reply 1 retweet 2 likes
Mrs Wood
‏ @mahamummy
5h5 hours ago

Nasty Westminster social services have not OK’d the funding for the ambulance to take Dad to the care Home. They want to keep him here, for another 24hrs. Tmrrw I go 4 surgery, it’s not an option. They know this & have fucked up.

Very sorry to hear this, Helena.

It is dreadful to be let down so badly by social services at a time when you need them the most. If I could help, I would, but I'm at the very furthest end of the country.

Also, thanks for your post bob. I will look into counselling in the New Year.

oh thats not me I just spotted it earlier today and linked it because its relevant to the thread Sorry i should have explained.

it looks like her MP is on to it so hopefully that should give the kick up the arse thats obviously needed.