Louis Theroux - Open adoption

[fireworkbang]

Anyone watch last night? As per usual the middle man was completely devoid of morals. She clearly knew that woman who ended up pulling out was going to do so, but who cares if she's getting the big payout from the rich couple?

So weird.

it was good, but how strange the whole system is in the US, really open to abuse.

The main thing that confused me was the amount of money people had to spend, its really sad that people who don't have that kind of money wouldn't be able to adopt through this process. I was wondering how much profit was being made and the family with Isaih (probably spelled wrong) were just amazing people.

watched it and found it disturbing.
they are selling kids to the highest bidder.

I watched it and felt the whole process was so wrong. The young couple were basically coerced by having the adopters there in the hospital. Did she have a C-section? Were they in the delivery room? This is what happens with no real welfare system.

I felt that the woman who did keep her baby seemed vulnerable. If she was in the UK, there would definitely would have been social services involvement

The motel woman? I had the impression drugs were involved? She needed stable housing.

Yes I thought it was really sad. I really think the young couple will regret it.
I really hope motel lady made a go of it. She seemed on drugs!!

I presume the motel woman was conning them all along? It was quite scary how believable she was. I figured later maybe she picked the couple with kids already so that she wouldn't feel so guilty.

I also thought the young mother might have kept the baby with her mum's support if she had a better relationship with her mum (I.e not hitting her). All very sad.

I don't doubt that the motel woman was conning them all along. I do wonder if her "friends" were making her do it and taking the money.

I wonder if her friends made her give birth in the motel room or if she was scared or too poor to give birth in the hospital/have a midwife with her. All of which are quite worrying.

I watched it. It all seemed so sad. I felt like the young couple were made to feel they couldn't say no if they wanted to just by the way that woman didn't want Louis asking so many difficult questions. I know obviously they could but the whole set up seemed a bit off. Plus making that choice within a few hours of giving birth. I just hope they don't regret it.

I was disgusted by Ari and Amy’s (? Think that was their names) response to Maria not giving them the baby - no concern at all for the mother, baby, no sadness over the whole situation, just embarrassment and anger that they would have to tell other mums at the school gates that their delivery hadn’t arrived... but they got one in the end. Sickening, especially when they names the ‘replacement’ baby Maya too - pure consumerism. Plus they had three boys of their own already - they clearly weren’t adopting out of any altruism more just a want. They came across terribly selfishly (I know that’s what Louis does sometimes!)

Agree that though still sad all round it seemed like the best scenario in Elias’s case but that would also be solved by adoption we have here. That family seemed altruistic - not just trying to build their picture perfect family - and it did still seem like a (necessary) compromise all round with the difficult involvement of the birth families.

Agree also that the young couple might have liked to keep the baby if they had the support. Very sad. The middle woman had no soul

Its selling babies

BUT

Look at the parents of the 10 year old, he's had a wonderful, stable life and his birth mother freely admits she chose drugs over her child. I think motel lady was a massive conwoman. The young couple, I was torn. There clearly wasn't a safe and stable place to take that baby to, had they kept him. The adopters would have given that child far more than they could have. But it felt pressurised and wrong and Louis obviously asked questions in a kind and 'are you sure about this' way. I wish they'd filmed the 'mutual decision making'

The motel woman was introduced to us as living 'hand to mouth' then it was pointed out that now she has chosen, she will recieve 1800 a month living expenses. Then her car breaks down (gulable people, it did not) and she turns up to collect thw money high as a kite. Her expression is so vacant, you can litterally see her concentrating on looking sober. We could all see where it was going. The adoption facilitator should have warned the parents to be.
Also, did anyone else find it odd that the adoptive family named that child maya and had all these things arranged for her (not the odd bit) but when they didnt get her and adopted a different child instead that they called her Maya? I suppose i felt like they were grieving Maya and i possibly would have named second adoptive child something else? It reminded me of when a dog dies and people replace it with the same breed and same name. (Not for 1 second likening adpoting a child to a dog, its just what it reminded me of)

I agree with others that the whole system was very sad and it always jars with me when there are private people making profit out of welfare situations a bit like the couple in last weeks episode with the end of life people. I felt very sorry for the young girl her mum came across really well on camera and very much wanting her grandchild but then admits that she can drink too much and hit her daughter which is no environment to bring a newborn in to. I am not sure what choice the girl had she couldn't support the child and I guess felt she also couldn't bring it home.

The couple with the 3 sons and wanting a daughter had got too carried away with it. There are no guarantees but she had got everything ready surely she should have waited until the adoption was finally confirmed. It was obvious the pregnant mum had a very unstable chaotic life and the lack of social work involvement is amazing considering she is obviously on drugs living in hotels and pregnant. Also she mentioned other children she had but there was no sign of them so had they been possibly placed in care? again another reason to have social worker involvement. The adoption lady was keeping her sweet until she could get her hands on the baby.

I thought both of their situations could have been solved with money, certainly the young couple. The young couple (YC) needed social housing and income support for a couple of years to give them time to grow up a bit. Motel woman, idk where were her other kids? She needed housing and rehab, more complex.

The Maya couple made me ill that was just shopping for a human.

Nathan (?) i could see the value there. I thought open adoption was even more open than that though with a meet up every six months or so. Like Catelynn and Tyler.

I agree that amys response to the baby not being given up was awful! I know she was disappointed , but she was just so lacking in empathy.....How would she feel to give birth in a motel room? I just worry that the mum won't care for it well. She clearly doesn't have her other kids living with her.

I think eilijiahs adoptive parents were wonderful. That WAS an example of it working out ok. But with such large amounts of money involved it feels like more an exception than the rule?

Yes @thighofrelief I agree the young couple just needed some support. They had no one competent saying to them "you can do this!" The baby looked so like them, too.

I used to know an adoption SW and asked if there were any non welfare planned infant adoptions in the UK now. She said 1 in her 20 year career. However you could balance that by thinking about the children who need rescued afterwards.

I thought Elijah was called Nathan - was that his brother?

The young couple (YC) needed social housing and income support for a couple of years to give them time to grow up a bit.

That's not forthcoming even here anymore. And the other issue with providing that is that instead of 'growing up a bit' many will carry on having more kids in a chaotic situation. Not sure what the answer is but nowadays it's UC for the couple and little to no chance of social housing in many areas.

dontalltalkatonce there would be some form of housing, even a B&B, and UC and child benefit. It would all come out in the wash by the time the child goes to school.

there would be some form of housing, even a B&B, and UC and child benefit. It would all come out in the wash by the time the child goes to school.

There would likely be little in the way of UC as the guy would be expected to get a FT job or face sanctions, and getting such is hard to do with you have no fixed abode. And then of course, there's 'I'm pregnant again'.

dontalltalkatonce but is that enough reason to give up a baby forever? She could get an implant and he can go work in Tescos - a few rough years to start with when the baby won't care if it's clothes are from car boot sales. I just felt that the YC did not understand the enormity or permanence of what they were doing.