Louis Theroux - Open adoption

[fireworkbang]

Anyone watch last night? As per usual the middle man was completely devoid of morals. She clearly knew that woman who ended up pulling out was going to do so, but who cares if she's getting the big payout from the rich couple?

So weird.

but is that enough reason to give up a baby forever?

Because you can't support it? Why isn't it enough reason?

dontalltalkatonce for the moment, they can't support it right now. They didn't seem mentally deficient or deviant, just young and naive. With a little welfare support for some amount of time they could have regrouped and gone forward.

I didn't think the couples were selfish...

Surely in this situation you've got trust that these pregnant women have thought it all through

I don't think they were pressured

I didn't like the people facilitating the adoption much though

I suppose that is the flip side. In the UK there is the absolute expectation that you will abort or parent, unless otherwise deviant/unfit.

Just watching on catch up.

So there is nothing to stop a pregnant woman offering her baby up for adoption, taking money on a monthly basis, getting all her medical care paid for, getting the cost of the birth covered, then backing out after the baby has been born.

It's so open to abuse. You could end up paying for multiple babies and never actually get one.

Shouldn't it be the adoption company that take the hit on the lost funds if the mother backs out rather than the adoptive parents.

I found the meeting of the mother and son after 10 years very moving. It showed how that bond can last between a mother and her child even when they have been separated at birth.

I’ve just watched this and the commercialisation is a bit shocking and clearly the process is open to abuse. The agency doesn’t seem to take much responsibility for failed adoptions. Louis was obviously suspicious fairly early on while the agency lady just ploughed on taking the money from the adoptive couple. It wasn’t obvious that there was any counselling for either the adoptive parents or the birth mother.

I do wonder how much was going on with Jessica’s parents that you didn’t see on camera. If the mother admitted to drinking and hitting her daughter on camera, who knows what else was happening. They seemed quite young and vulnerable and to not see the baby after delivery and make that decision under a degree of pressure (ie with the adoptive parents there and the agency) seems not quite right.

Isiah’s birth mother was clear she wasn’t in a good pace to have looked after him. The situation seemed to have worked well for the family and possibly worked better having access to a young baby rather than a potentially damaged toddler.

Watched this last night. I thought Amy and Ari were disgusting - 3 children already and they were willing to take a child that could have gone to a childless couple just so they could buy one with different genitals to the one they already had. And then her selfish reaction when the mother pulled out, "Oh no, what will people say". Gross.

The motel mother was clearly high when they saw her in the garage, and like PPs I wonder if her other children were in care, or if she was being forced to do the adoption con. It seemed immoral that the adoption agency weren't calling social services, but maybe that's not how it works there.

The agency workers were creepy full stop and had very little empathy or concern for anything other than $$$

I agree with PPs that it had worked out well for Isaiah and all concerned there. And also that YC could have kept the baby with more support.

Overall the documentary showed me what s massive chasm there is between the rich and poor in the USA. When Ari said of motel-mom, "how could someone do this for $10k?" as if $10k is a small amount! Maybe to him but not to get, clearly . What a tosser.

In the UK there is the absolute expectation that you will abort or parent, unless otherwise deviant/unfit this is very true. I think there's be quite a social stigma here to giving your baby up for adoption, but that didn't seem the case there.

not to her*

There didn't appear to be any background checks on the adoptive parents, which I felt was really concerning.

All the adoptive parents in the documentary appeared to be genuinely wanting a baby for all the right reasons (although, like pps, I take issue with the couple who simply wanted a girl), and appeared to be reasonably well adjusted individuals. However, what's to say that paedophiles can't infiltrate the system in some way?
I watched a similar documentary with Stacy Dooley on US open adoption and again there was no mention of background checks.

Was the motel woman even pregnant? Didn't she refuse the couple's offer to attend appointments, then the message that she'd given birth in the motel. Made me doubt that she was pregnant at all and had the faked the whole thing.

With Jessica and her Mum i think they hitting was 2 way. Whilst terrible obviously I don't think two grown female close relatives having a tussle is irreparable. As a late teen my mother and I had a terrible slanging match and kind of shoved and shook each other once. It's terrible but it was equal and here we are a thousand years later absolutely fine.

I presumed motel mum was pg but she was a little over weight so it could have been that? I feel she responded to the baby shopping by baby selling.

So very many of us have had a baby in less than optimal circumstances and relied on the state, family, charities to just get us over the initial bits and then got ourselves together and parented for the rest of our lives. It just gives me the chills when youth or poverty are the only factors.

Although Isiah did see his bmum after 10 years and she wasn't fit previously, it's still 10 years. Wouldn't it be more humane if the bm was more like a treasured aunt who saw the kid on Sundays? But then the bm may be otherwise deviant.

I thought Louis was excellent as ever and will look out for the Stacey Dooley one.

I also thought Ari and Amy were gross and it just shows the rich/poor divide. If they were taking in a relatives child who was in need fair enough, but this was just shopping.

The attitude to "choice" adoptions in the US is that it is saintly. I suppose if you examine yourself hard and think - no, i will not get it together even with help - and choose adoption perhaps that is saintly. We all know people who really aren't cut out for motherhood but UK society says you must at least try and fail first, which is damaging to the child.

The66 - inwondered about background checks as well. Anyone could say that want to adopt a baby, and as long as they had the money, younfeel,they would be accepted. There was more checks about the pregnant mum then the potential,parents.

It is very sad system in the US, it seems like a big money making process with no involvement of social services to make sure that the children go to suitable families. That boy who was 10, was so lovely, I am glad that he got to see his birth mother and they all have a good relationship.