Did any Poly people watch Louis Theroux last night?

[PolyAnnie]

Just wondering what peiple thought of it as a representation of poly families.

I liked it.

I thought it showcased a lot of happiness and family ties. It showed that kids can be happy within poly families but it also showed the realities of it too. Such as a new person coming in to the fold or one person wanting a different living set up (experienced both)

I liked it because it showed normal poly families through good events and struggling just as all mono couples do too.

I haven't seen the programme, but I'm so surprised that PolyAnnie had such a different take on it from everyone else, and didn't see what everyone else seemed to see.



"I haven't seen the programme, but I'm so surprised that PolyAnnie had such a different take on it from everyone else, and didn't see what everyone else seemed to see"

Maybe she only saw what she wanted to see?

FuzzyShadowChatter I thought your post was very interesting and thought provoking.

Every day is a school day. That is a new word I can add to my vocabulary.

It was brilliant TV but very cringeworthy and very sad. Louis's description of Poly as a slow divorce was very apt, he asked some brilliant direct questions and didn't get many truthful answers, it was painful to watch. I wonder how much longer the two original couples will stay together..

Fair play to you Rixera. When we had a toddler, dh and I barely had time for hobbies and ourselves still less all those other important relationships.

I admire your ability to fit in the emotional/physical work of a toddler, a partner, a girlfriend and an older lover requiring daily contact. Presumably you also have parents, friends, siblings who also need your input. That would wipe me out in a week. Maybe your work is pretty easy so that helps?

I never wanted to be anyone's *ultimate partner". I just wanted to be myself. Find that ultimate partner stuff kind of odd tbh.

Gretchen was completely shit down emotionally and it was the body language after she explained a few things that was most telling. The shot when she drank from her glass in the restaurant after explaining how she rationalised it was very telling. As was when she challenged Louis with ‘is that a question’ earlier on in the episode.

In fact they all seemed very false to me as well as emotionally shut down and far from having huge hearts they came across as very damaged people who fool themselves with psychology.

Heidi was a class act.

Shut down. Not shit down

Why everyone loved Heidi so much I do not understand.

This. She seemed like a fucking nightmare all the way through.

Poor Jerry finally plucks up the courage to tell her what he wants (I mean ewww, but to each their own) and despite years of getting her own way the answer is just 'nope, not discussing that'.

It would be interesting to see this lot again five years later in a follow up programme.

@FuzzyShadowChatter, @Rixera, your lives are much more like my experience of polyamory than the show was. As has been said, Louis's obviously going to go for setups with some perceived tension in them.

What struck me was that it seems all the setups were initially triggered by one person in a mono couple wanting 'more'. IMHO this is often doomed to failure as there's almost inevitably an element of coercion involved, even if it's not overt.

For me, I was long-term single (after a long mono relationship) when I realised that I was probably poly. So when I met my current partner it was understood that that's how I am, and as he is too, we had common ground to start from.

I was wondering about the fact that only one person in the poly relationships were actually poly. The other two were just hangers on and we're mono. Very odd.

I'm sure there are more truly poly relationships out there. I however couldn't not do it. I'd be terribly jealous

Why everyone loved Heidi so much I do not understand

I suspect she’s a massive hypocrite and has spent years honing her carefully cultivated image. She has perfected cool and laid back but I believe she’d go straight for a persons eyes if they crossed her and people know this so they just go along with her nonsense. She’s probably an expert at turning everything on the other person as it being something lacking in them.

Did anyone else notice how quick she was to panic and go red in the face when two perfectly reasonable suggestions were put to her. It was clear this poly business is ok as long as it’s benefitting her and she made it clear no amount of her husband being lonely would put an end to it because his loneliness would be his own fault.

As for her husband - he really does seem to think of he repeats his intention to find another partner and have his own poly set up it will scare Heidi I to rethinking. It’s not going to happen

They’re all deluded.

Oh fab - it was on goggle box tonight

Was very funny. Worth a watch 🤣

Dh and I have just watched this..I can't get my head around it, everyone looked either deeply resentful, angry or sad apart from Joe who came across as a man child. I also can't get past the shitholes they all lived in, houses looked dirty cluttered and messy. A bit of a hippy stereotype.

I don't believe poly is about everyone being happy seems to be that 1 person is having it all and the others suck it up because they love their partner.

Heidi, Jerry, Joe: not poly, just running around to facilitate Heidi’s affair. I found it hard to believe she was a therapist. She had zero self awareness and was happy to expose her children to this confusion and sanctioned infidelity.

back on tonight BBC2 9pm

I thought Gretchen just seemed like she's been around the block a few times and was genuinely pretty relaxed about Heidi, but was just making up her mind about whether to end her marriage to Joe.

She said she'd explored poly relationships in the past pre Joe. I thought she was a wise old bird actually.