The secret life of 4 year olds

[crunchtime]

Harper. ..not cute and a geezer...just really inappropriate. Anyone else finding his aping of adult behaviours really icky?

The language he was using was something my nearly 4 year old would t even know existed . It's obviously what he is used to hearing and being around at home ! Very inappropriate and sad

Wouldn't

The 'so your just going to ruin everything' comment. I thought someone's cringing at home watching it.
Ada had the measure of him though.

I can't believe you are bashing this little boy. He is 4 years old ffs.

Go In Any nursery or reception class and they are all paired up sometimes it lasts minutes. Sometimes weeks.

We're not bashing the little boy. We are commenting on his overly sexualised behaviour which is obviously copied from the adults in his life...adults who said at the beginning of the show that he was a " ladies man:

It seems to be prevalent in some schools and not others.
My nephew, they all have boyfriends and girlfriends. My dd's school they don't.

I came on hoping to see a discussion about this, hoping I wasn't alone. I thought it was an interesting snapshot of how differently 4 year olds behave with each other. It made me slightly uncomfortable to see ava have to deal with that behaviour from Harper. It just seemed to show what females have to put up with all their lives. Not all men etc etc, but I am weary from experience unfortunately

I thought the same about last week's episode, over sexualising 4 year old behaviour, but this week it was just about all the producers were interested in.

Having worked with 4 year olds for most of my career, I honestly haven't seen this type of behaviour for more than a couple of seconds a week, yet the whole programme kept going back to it, over and over. I'm sure there were far more interesting things going on, but it looked to me as if the children were being fed leading questions.
Also, so much air time for those 2 boys.

I despair. Please let our children be innocent children.

I find this a fascinating programme. I only caught the last 20 mins tonight, but I thought Harper's attitude was very adult for a 4 year old. He was very in Ava's face when he thought that she was "choosing another boyfriend" or words to that effect, and I said as much to DH, in that I felt he had to have seen that behaviour from other adults or on tv. I didn't see the parents, so I can't comment on their attitude.

I also found his aggressiveness and possessiveness really quite worrying as you can just imagine how that's going to manifest itself into early adulthood. Innapropriate and not cute in any way

Harper has obviously learned that possessiveness towards women from observing it. Awful.

I watched it. I hate it when parents say yes he gets whatever he wants cos he's very determined in a jokey way as if it's funny. It just sounds like they're spoilt when they say that. Can't remember who it was about now Harper?

I loved how Rory was with his sheep

And so cute how Ava was with Rory she was so caring. And when she said it makes me sad when others are sad so I try make them happy ❤️

I thought it was sad really when the ginger haired girl (Patsy?) At the end did in conversation that she was a bit of a loner. Has she been told that by someone? Cos I don't believe in giving children labels like that

I thought she shouldn't be referred to as a loner (she has heard it) either.

I didn't really like tonights programme.

I agree about Patsy. The T shirt saying I need my own space (or words to that effect) and 'I'm a loner'. She's purely repeating what she's been told.

The domino experiment: who would have guessed they'd use Harper and Vinnie?! I suspect the producers would have been disappointed if they hadn't knocked them down. Poor Victoria must have been so stressed with the responsibility and was set up to fail.

Those two boys would have been separated in the classroom within the first half hour at school.

The producers of this programme have their own agenda and it isn't that of 4 year olds.

I'm watching it now on catch up. I'm finding it very very uncomfortable to watch. Fwiw dd and her friends have always talked about boyfriends and girlfriends but it means nothing - they say 'x is my girlfriend' but that's it, literally! Very odd how much they were focusing on it too.

It's a shame for Harper because it's that kind of kid that just ends up being ostracised eventually because he just isn't on the same wave length. I'll never understand parents who want their kids to be grown up before their time - it's creepy.

It was so weird watching Harper, like a ‘Geezer’ in a small child’s body very disconcerting, agree with pp appears production team had an agenda.

Harper's behaviour was almost certainly learned. Very uncomfortable. They way he squared up to Ava because she had spoken to Vinnie was scary. Good for Ava for standing up to him.
Parents should be parents and not see their kids as mates and treat him as a geezer/ladies man etc...

But true I think.

his mum is on twitter saying people are horrible for commenting unfavourably on his behaviour---just doesn't see the problem

The two experts seemed to find it quite amusing and normal. "Love is in the air...." and all that. Like others on here, I found it a bit uncomfortable to watch.

Just saw all her replies on twitter, she's got no idea. I'd be horrified if my sons were like that in public, not proud.