Is mumsnet having some kind of half price for dickheads night? The threads I've been on tonight are twat central.
I don't have to justify myself to anyone, I don't have to be a good fatty and pretend that my significant mental health issues are just a lack of willpower because I like cake. Shame is not a motivator and if people truly were concerned about the effects on the NHS and children then they would be seeking the most effective solutions instead of indulging in the chance to berate people for being moral failures.
I am a CSA survivor, I was let down by support services, by school, by doctors and I got fat because I am a 6ft 2 hourglass blue eyed blond and the harassment I received when I was thin (but self medicating with a drug addiction like a good pretty thin girl) was terrifying, it was paralysing and it was deeply predatory for a very vulnerable young woman. I lived in a circle of sharks (I assume this is how any sexually vulnerable person feels whatever they look like, but being born in the stereotypical 'blondes have more fun' slut shape - not my description of course, just what I was called - is my only frame of reference) and I was exploited more than once. Fat makes you invisible in many ways, it removes the most frightening attention, and it was a great deal easier to live with being jeered at because I was fat but otherwise of little interest than it was to live with being told that any random stranger would 'have a go' on me, my consent not necessary or sought.
There was no way I was losing weight, the only protection I had, while I felt so vulnerable. When I got the help I needed things changed. I was never going to lose weight until I felt safe.
Shame serves only to make a certain sort of person feel better about themselves. Compassion works. Kindness works. Respect works. Insulting the intelligence of every fat person as if they are just too stupid to work out that a binge and self loathing is as healthy as some lettuce is just an acceptable way to be a judgemental nasty person, it doesn't work for anyone but the person dishing it out.
Support works.
For morbidly obese people what works is the treatment they need to deal with whatever situation set them up with deeply dysfunctional relationships with food, they don't need reminding to eat a salad, food is a tool and it can be used for health and it can be used for self harm. Being a bit chubby because you've played fast and loose with the wine and takeaways can be shaken off by getting back into good habits and having a word with yourself. Being morbidly obese is self harm (even if you feel it is self protection, fun and complex things human beings) and there is always a reason for that, it really doesn't matter if you think the reason is valid or not, they are deserving of more compassion and respect and have a right to treatment, support, respect and dignity like every single other person.
Nobody seems to be yelling at deadbeat dads in the street because they're deeply concerned about the burden on the taxpayer of their feckless ways and damage to their children. Nobody yells at the serial cheat because he's spreading the clap and someone has to pay to treat it.
Few people make sure they moderate every aspect of their life properly to avoid future health complaints, I've never been reamed out by a tee total vegan who exercises every day actually, but because fat is fair game then we can all prig around dispensing faux concern for the future, my God won't anyone think of the children?
People like that are no better than abortion protesters who think single mothers are scum and don't care about a mother and child in desperate straits because they did the moral and right thing by preventing the terrible abortion.
If people actually cared life would be very different for many.