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Telly addicts

Related: Film discussion forum.

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Original poster

'Three Girls' - would you watch it with DS1 aged 15?

30 replies

marl · 29/05/2017 15:16

Did any of you watch this and think it would be good to watch with an older son? I have a night in with DS1 tonight who would like to spend some time together and watch something. I wanted to watch this, so selfish thought I admit, and thought it might be 'good for him' to watch it. Or is it so explicit we may feel a bit embarrassed watching it together - I can remember feeling that kind of discomfort myself anyway when I was a teenager 'in the olden days' ? We don't get much time together because of his much younger siblings and we are quite open with discussing things but would welcome some advice from anyone who's seen it.

OP posts:

peanutbutter2409 · 29/05/2017 15:54

I wouldn't recommend it personally. It's pretty harrowing.

Blazedandconfused · 29/05/2017 16:03

If you and your son don't spend much time together, I probably wouldn't choose this. I'd probably go for something a bit more feel good- or a fictitious drama if you do want something gritty.

I would still recommend you watch it with your son, at some point. I think everyone of a certain level of maturity should watch it. Especially anyone working with young people.

But for now, enjoy a lovely evening with him.

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 29/05/2017 16:08

In one scene you see a young girl raped by an older man. Nothing graphic is seen but her facial expressions are harrowing. I would have felt uncomfortable watching it with a 15 year old boy.

barrygetamoveonplease · 29/05/2017 16:10

Nothing good can come of watching this series with your son. The issues it raises are not 'normal'. It's not just a matter of friendships and consent, it's about the most terrible abuse. The line that stands out for me was, if I remember, "fourteen year old with a plastic bag held over her head while four men fuck her up the arse."

If he wants to watch it because he's interested in current social issues, fancies a career in social work, fair enough. But as 'together time', no.

StarOnTheTree · 29/05/2017 16:15

Explain to your DS what it's about and let him decide. Personally I think all teenagers should watch it (with or without parents depending on the child).

Yes it's harrowing, it's meant to be. But it shows how something that seems so innocent to a teenager can then turn into something so horrible. I advised my DD (16) to watch it but as it can happen to boys as well as girls I think your DS should watch it whether that's with you or without you.

user1494670108 · 29/05/2017 16:19

I wouldn't but I downloaded girl A into my kindle which is the story of the main character and my dd (12) read it.
I wouldn't have chosen for her to do so but she's ok

FannyWisdom · 29/05/2017 16:20

What Barry said

AnyFucker · 29/05/2017 16:25

I watched it with my 17yo ds

It's something that all teens need to see, IMO

There are very uncomfortable scenes but not "graphic" in a porny way

You know your own son though. My own set off talking after watching it and didn't shut up for ages. He has recently discovered a love for politics, indignation at social injustices and a huge bee in his bonnet that he isn't yet allowed to vote Labour though . He is also doing sociology and psychology at A level.

Isadora2007 · 29/05/2017 16:29

I watched it with teen dd (16)

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 29/05/2017 16:32

DS16 watched it with us, and was really angry with the way the girls were trivialised and ignored. I did wonder if it was perhaps too distressing for him but figured he was old enough to decide himself and if he didn't want to watch he didn't have to stay in the room.

Dawnedlightly · 29/05/2017 16:35

It depends. If he's slightly sexist, not thoughtful, yes. If he's already socially aware and respectful I'd give him a pass! It's pretty harrowing.

Original poster

marl · 29/05/2017 17:09

Thanks all. Very helpful. Maybe for another time - I may have a watch myself first and make a call then. I think he's mature and political but since he's just embarking on relationships, girlfriends and so on I think I'll play it safe on this one.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 29/05/2017 17:21

Just embarking on relationships ?

The perfect time, I'd say. Not my call though

Original poster

marl · 29/05/2017 17:28

Yep in lots of ways I agree AnyFucker, though potentially a baptism of fire perhaps. I'll have a watch.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 29/05/2017 17:38

Yep. Then make your mind up.

Davros · 29/05/2017 18:52

I didn't want to watch it but 14 year old DD wanted to and I think it had been very good to watch together

GplanAddict · 29/05/2017 21:04

No, please don't watch this with him.

I think occassionally there is too much information that can be shared. Talk to him about consent, respect, sexual health and healthy relationships as much as you can (and I' sure you are already) but please don't get him to watch this programme, it's harrowing. I feel strongly that it was an important programme to watch but I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders afterwards. I sobbed the whole way through the third episode and the Three girls, their children and the sexual health worker have been on my mind each day since. Let him bypass this one for now.

PandaG · 29/05/2017 21:08

Dh and I watched it together, DS (17) watched it on his own and DD (15) is part way through after we talked about it. Shocking, harrowing yes, but incredibly important.

JustDanceAddict · 29/05/2017 21:59

I think my mature nearly 15 yr old DD could handle it, but not sure it's a 'cosy night in' type viewing.

Emboo19 · 29/05/2017 22:07

I think it's a good idea for teens to watch it. Maybe not with you op, depending on how he'd feel about that. But I'd definitely recommend he watch it.

It's not about how he acts in his own relationships (hopefully he's fully aware of consent and how to treat his partners respectfully). But I wonder how many other teens knew or had an idea of what was going on with those girls. I wonder how many might have said something to someone in authority or thought about doing so.
Often peer groups know far more of what's going on than parents/teachers etc. And I think this show might just make them think, and maybe open up if they had any concerns about friends or fellow pupils.

And as a boy he's not immune to grooming himself and anything that opens a dialogue about that between teens and parents can only be a good thing.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 29/05/2017 22:11

Yes.

15 is older than the age the girls in the story.

tabulahrasa · 29/05/2017 22:12

I watched it alone and then with DD (17, just) and yes it's worth watching and brought up a load of interesting conversations and ones worth having with a teenager, but, it wasn't entertainment.

AnyFucker · 29/05/2017 22:15

I expect it was other teens that also referred to these girls as "slags" as well as those in authority

If watching this programme stops teenagers in their tracks before writing someone off, then it will be worth it

(Not casting aspersions on your teen of course)

stripeknee · 29/05/2017 22:44

its probably too late now but peter kay car share is still on i player, that might be a lighthearted easier watch suitable for you both

Original poster

marl · 29/05/2017 22:54

Thanks for all your thoughts. He's out tomorrow so I'll watch it. Black Mirror ended up being the choice - the Facebook-ish ratings one. Disturbing (less so) in quite a different way, but made for a good chat.

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