Mastercheffians - have you heard the heartbreaking news?

[squoosh]

Our favourite hunky greengrocer Gregg Wallace has just married his (fourth) true love and is now sadly off the market. I know this will hit many of you hard.

"I think she'll be pregnant by the time we return from honeymoon!" Wallace told Hello magazine. What a lucky lady she is. If only we could all be granted a fortnight of sexy Wallace time.

We must endeavour to support each other at this difficult time.

He actually said that? Fucking hell.

He met her on twitter.
He met no 3 on twitter too.

Damn you, Internet.

Grim!

I wonder if they will make a jizzy omlette baby?

John Torode was his best man, appara.
But I'd read before that they're not really friends, that they don't see each other outside of filming.

Do you think he insisted on a new best man per wedding, and ran out?

His sex face wanders off feeling faint and nauseous

I can see why all these women fall for him......

He's the most modern man isn't he? Meeting two wives on Twitter. If he had access to Facebook he'd be setting up a commune by now.

Let's hope he never joins mumsnet. The sheer number of quivering ovaries would cause an earthquake.

I seem to remember Wife #3 saying that he's a total manchild who basically marries looking for a mum. He does that learned helplessness thing and requires his wives to do everything, including managing his work, laundry, house, wardrobe, diaries.......

Thats why they all eventually fuck off.

Didn't the last wife he was with for five minutes end up living with his children? I forget. I'm trying not to drool..

Is he the one with the dodgy teeth?

"I think she'll be pregnant by the time we return from honeymoon!"
That's so grim. Why would you even say that?

Why did you not tell us that he's not coming back to the show next year?

I don't bother with all the other Masterchefs but do like Masterchef, the Professionals. Only thing that blights it at all are his inane appearances, which add nothing.

What? Shouty Greg is off the market? Again Dear oh lor, I don't know what we shall do.

Give it a year and he'll be back on the market, not to worry

Memoires pop a low cut top on and take a busty selfie. Use said busty photo as Twitter profile photo and then wait patiently..............

Vomit emoji is needed here. I can't stand him, he makes me feel quite ill.

Do you think me makes pudding face while he's shagging?

Oh godddddd! I didn't think my repulsion towards GW could grow any more. But it has. That's a talent, Greg.

Wonder if their wedding cake had a buttery biscuit Base?

.

The thought of "a fortnight of sexy Wallace time" has made me feel as though I'd eaten 35 of his puddings, one after the other.