The madness of modern families

[themoon66]

This is on BBC2 tonight at 8.30pm... looks interesting I thought.....

The Madness Of Modern Parenting

All parents want the best for their children but more people than ever seem to be turning into panic-stricken obsessives in their over-zealous attempts to get it all absolutely right.

As this series shows, the madness can descend on many fronts ? from competing against other parents to plan the most elaborate birthday party for their precious offspring, to the quest for the perfect family holiday.

Then there are the lengths parents will go to to get the very best for their child, whether faking church attendance for the sake of a decent school entry or spending all weekend doing their child's complicated school project, alone.

A selection of bemused mums and dads reflect on their madder moments in this entertaining, witty and affectionate look at the absurd behaviour being displayed by parents all over Britain.

Lol Enid, I thought that about the Farm trip. Made me wonder if down here in rural Norfolk an urban themed party might be a bit more outre, the kids could get bussed to Thetford, dress up in hoodies and get to do a bit of shoplifting?

omg mummydoc, f'real or is this wind-up??
Don't buy into these things. This is how things like this get more and more out of hand.
If you really want to be different you could not organise v much nor have themed, nor entertainer, just some music, cheap food (hula hoops sarnies party rings etc), tescos birthday cake & basic party bags full of haribo & plastic crap.

Now THAT would be original & kids should still enjoy themsleves unless they are all spolit little brand-obsessed brats in which case they don't deserve a party anyway so there !

hello - i'm one of the authors of the book that accompanies this series. i think what's most interesting about this subject is what causes parents who, in other areas of their lives feel competant and in in control, to lose the plot so completely when it comes to parenting. i have plenty of theories about this, some are expounded in the book and the blog: which you can visit here , but i'd be interested to hear your views too.

for parents to admit that they feel overwhelmed and confused is amazingly hard when the prevailing image of parenting presented in the media as desireable is one of effortless glamour, and when parenting advice comes so thick and fast and contradictory. to see people 'fessing up, with self-humour and grace, that they've messed up, gone ott or generally lost the plot is, in my opinion, quite refreshing and certainly liberating. simply to slag them off as bubbleheads or whatever, it seems to me, is to perpetuate the judgemental attitude that's partly causing the problem in the first place! if you find parenting easy, then good for you. not everyone does, and it's time we felt more comfortable saying so.

LostInFrance

I didn't see the Peter Pan and Wendy thing any more bizarre than it ALWAYS being the party boy/girl who gets chosen to go on stage with the magician etc. Even my DS and DD twigged quite quickley they would never be chosen unless the magician was at their party !

MummyDoc thanks for your support.

LOL at writing with your left hand !

no definightly not a wind up - in my defence i will not/ do not do party bags . they are nonsense . lets be honest the unwritten deal is you lay on the party and the guests bring a present - a fair trade , so why do people provide a bag of stuff for the guests to go home wiht - at a part recently my dd got a "party present " to take home an dit was probably more expensive than the present we gave to the birhtday child.

there are plenty of people on here who don't find parenting easy hatjam and feel very comfortable saying so.

but whether or not to spend £50,000 (or even £250) on a children's party isn't a decision most parents ever make.

agree with Marina - usual media parenting suspects. Bore no relation to anyone I know.

Hatjam, we all find parenting hard at times - that's why so many of us are on here.
I for one would have found the premise of your programme more credible and accessible if you had perhaps used a wider cross-section of families, including people working, say, in the retail, or education, or health sectors. They have pressures and dilemmas to deal with too. They just don't have the option of throwing silly amounts of money at the problem.
And I'm sorry, but nice man though I am sure he is, we all see quite enough of John O'Farrell (and some of the other parents too) on TV already.

hatjam - how much input did you have into the show? Couldn't they have found a broader cross-section of people? Everyone - the women, anyway - appeared to be either from London or Hampshire and very smugly middle-class. There was, I think, one token woman with a northern accent.

Marcus Berkmann and John O'F and the other guy seemed to be token blokes.

Assume the paperback will have "As Shown On BBC2" or something?

Ok am 'fessing up then shipping out to collect kids. It was indeed me talking about my nightmare trying to create the Barbie cake for dd's 5th birthday. I did the prog in the hope they'd plug Mumsnet, but they didn't and they also cut out lots of me going on about how much I love kids' bithday parties (quite rightly I suppose as everyone else seemed to hate them so it wouldn't have worked). I genuinely love planning my kids' parties and indeed making ludicrous cakes, it's just something I enjoy - all that mucking about with bits of coloured icing - like playing with playdough. Anyway I'm pretty sure I'm not in the one on schools though have to say I was eight and half months pregnant when this was filmed so could have said anything and wouldn't remember now Have to say my main thought when I saw me was, oh dear everyone's going to think I've got v fat and/or have had a boob job - just shows how vain, shallow and Islington I really am

well be comforted by the fact that yours was the only vaguely amusing and realistic bit

The balding bloke talking about the Peter Pan party and looking as if he hated every minute of it all - I felt as if i could empathise with him. Everyone else seemed far too much up their own fundament.

hatjam are you for real!

we are the first bunch of women who would stand up and support any parent having a rough time

the people on that programme were all middle class, from London and, as far as i could tell, moneyed

utterly unrepresentative and slightly odd - dh thought so too so not just me being judgemental

Snap enid - Carrie, your bit was pretty funny

rofl profyaffle

ahem, women and men

sorry unquiet dad>>

Maybe everyone could do "suburban" themed parties a a compromise. Kids have to sit round a table talking about mortgages and school places for five hours. Any boy sat next to another boy has to open with "So what are you driving these days?" or pay a forfeit. Afterwards they all have to admire the extension.

lolol

"no one CARES"

shouted dh again and again

Oh but I did laugh about the bit with the entertainers (the same ones doing the rounds, like being at uni and sleeping with everyone but leaving a decent gap in between). I thought it was funny and probably more true than we want to admit. Always wondered how those Barbie cakes were done.

Carrie, you are potty, but at least you have redeemed yourself by creating mumsnet, so we'll let you off.

Hatjam - loved your novel about the families holidaying near Padstow. I read it last year, holidaying near Padstow. I'm sure this book is equally funny and readable. However, don't kid yourselves that these parents feel confused by parenting - they are on some sort of competitive vibe, and are probably like it in every area of their life. The desire to prove you are considerably richer, better, greener, etc than the plebs on the council estate. There's a lot in parenting to be confused about but protecting your children from the horror of having other children dressed in the same costume as them sure as hell isn't high up there on the list. You are addressing an incredibly small minority of parents who have the time and the money to worry about such vacuous things. I'd say 99% of parents don't have the time or the money, and are probably a lot more chilled out as a result.

Having said that, I will be tuning in next week.

Unquiet Dad - those would be the kids in the Vauxhall Zafira advert.

well said wordsmith

except I bet I'd HATE the book

Enid, it was chicklit holiday reading, not saying it was mind-improving, but I thought it was fun.