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Original poster

Twin Sisters: A World Apart

29 replies

Cheeseandhamtoast · 14/03/2015 15:50

Has anyone watched this? I have just watched it on iplayer and it is so moving. I was in tears at the end! Really makes you think about the different lives we lead. Come on someone, watch it..... I need to talk about it!

OP posts:

MsShellShocked · 14/03/2015 16:57

I just watched it for you :)

It was mesmerizing!

Norway was so unbelievably beautiful.

Very mixed feelings about what is best for the girls. I mean is it better that they know about each other or not?

I guess it is, but it has bought them heartache as well as happiness.

The way Alexandra pined for Mia was heartbreaking. But also felt a bit like every girl. Doesn't everyone dream of having a perfect sister?

And of course the contrast between their lives was 'perfect'. If a novelist or tv producer had staged it they couldn't have done a better job.....

MsShellShocked · 14/03/2015 17:01

Found this on a discussion forum about the program:

I was adopted and brought to the United States when I was 2. I allegedly have an older brother out there somewhere in the world. So since I can speak from this point of view, I'll say this; I don't care. I don't care about the other brother, nor do I care about my biological parents. You never chose where or who you would be born to, and neither did I. Therefore, my parents and my adopted family ARE my family, and that's all I'm concerned with. People always ask me if I want to go back to my roots or find my biological family and I say no. Why? Just because luck, fate, chance, some uncontrollable force connects me to them? There is this glamorous idea some people who are not adopted have about the narrative of "finding yourself" and where you came from. Nah, I believe in nurture over nature. Of course, at the end of the day, I can only speak for me. I'm not criticizing the video, my only point here was to let everyone who wasn't adopted understand that not all adopted people feel it necessary to look for family when they already have them.

I think in a lot of ways life would be easier if they hadn't found each other.

Nydj · 14/03/2015 17:05

I watched it and was very moved by it. It didn't help when they turned on the slo-mo for the re-union .

Original poster

Cheeseandhamtoast · 14/03/2015 17:20

Thank you for watching it!!!

It really made me feel for the parents as they must have known their babies were twins from the start, and knew that to follow their dream of having a child they would have to separate the twins. I think they are doing the right thing, however hard, by giving their daughters the opportunity to know their sister. But who knows if they would have been happier not knowing...

Mia in the USA seems to have a life similar to my DS's (apart from the beauty treatments and catwalk modelling!!). The life of Alexandra seems so gentle and laid back. With less stresses. But wonder what she will do as a teenager, if she will have to travel far to school.

Did you hear the American dad ask the Norwegan dad if he will sell one if this tractors so he can visit them in the USA?

OP posts:

MsShellShocked · 14/03/2015 17:28

No doubt about it all 6 people were portrayed as kind loving nice people.

Nice to see a US family portrayed positively for a change :)

I'm sure now they know about each other they're doing the right things given the circumstances.

Alexandra seems far more upset than Mia. Mia didn't seem nearly as effected.

Is that because A lives in a village of 200 people?

OneDayWhenIGrowUp · 14/03/2015 17:31

I watched it last weekend. I cried buckets, but I was feeling pretty sensitive anyway!

Coumarin · 15/03/2015 04:41

I sobbed at the end. I think it was the video of Mia singing 'my bonny lives over the ocean'. I tried to tell DH about it later on and couldn't without getting choked and welling up.

The scene where they're in Alexandra's room for the first time stood out for me. The awkwardness of knowing each other and yet being strangers alongside the language barrier. And then Alex grabs Mia's hand and pulls her outside to play. Next scene is of them running, laughing together. Beautiful.

Such a difficult position for the parents.

Original poster

Cheeseandhamtoast · 16/03/2015 13:46

What made me cry was when the parents cried when saying goodbye to the other twin. Saying goodbye to your daughter's twin must almost feel like they were saying goodbye to a part of their own family.

OP posts:

RebootYourEngine · 16/03/2015 22:03

I think Alexandra was more invested in the relationship, it seemed to me. I think this was because Mia had quite a full on life in the US and Alexandra had a simple quiet life so more time to think about Mia.

It was such a heart wrenching programme.

neversleepagain · 17/03/2015 20:41

I have twin girls and I cried when they were separated in the beginning. It made me feel very upset, such an unnatural thing to do. It was a very moving documentary.

Coumarin · 17/03/2015 23:38

I missed the very beginning. Why were they separated?

breward · 18/03/2015 07:28

Which channel was this on? Is it still available on catch up?

Coumarin · 18/03/2015 12:45

I think it was on BBC four.

Original poster

Cheeseandhamtoast · 18/03/2015 22:57

Coumarin - The parents adopted the girls as babies and although they found out that they shared the same birthday, they were told by the authorities that they were not twins.

OP posts:

Coumarin · 19/03/2015 00:28

Oh how cruel A couple would've taken both of them eventually. Both sets of parents seemed very kind, decent people. One half of them would've adopted both girls surely.

Coumarin · 19/03/2015 00:31

Although I guess that'd mean the other two wouldn't have got to adopt their girl then and they're all so happy and loved. It's so complicated.

Anna9999 · 27/05/2015 00:34

As an adopted adult I have to comment on what an utterly beautiful documentary this is. I really dont think it's appropriate to speculate on whether one twin is the happiest that's not the point- the parents are being amazing honouring the strange twist of fate that brought the twins together again. Its so special for the girls to have each other and share their different lives. It must be nice for the parents too - my parents didn't know other families that adopted and I think it's good to know people going through similar experiences. Bizarre, random beautiful story....

Mrsjayy · 27/05/2015 11:02

I watched this last night in tears for most of it what a beautiful thoughtful documentary those little girls have wonderful parents yes it would be nice for them to be together but the chances for them to be adopted together was slim.

choirmumoftwo · 27/05/2015 13:29

I saw it last night. Fascinating programme and very moving. Hard to imagine more contrasting ways of life, not that either was better than the other. I wonder how they'll grow into adulthood - will they be close?

Rainicorn · 27/05/2015 13:39

I watched this when it was first out.

It was lovely to see the girls getting on so well despite the huge language barrier. Their mannerisms were so similar.

I thought it was touching that the parents had chosen the same adoption day outfit for their daughters as well.

mammmamia · 27/05/2015 14:41

Can I still see this on iplayer? I have twins and would love to see.

Mrsjayy · 27/05/2015 14:45

Id think so it was on Bbc4 last night so will be on catch up

Pipbin · 27/05/2015 14:51

I watched it last night.
One thing that struck me was how for Alexandra it must have been lovely to meet someone with the same racial heritage. I'm sure there must be others of Chinese background in Mia's home town, but I can't imagine there are many in Alexandra's village.

BlossomTang · 27/05/2015 21:39

I think it was so important the adoptive parents did preserve the link between the girls however difficult it was for them as the chances of the girls being able to find their biological parents in the future would be very slim.

It was also interesting that that the Chinese authorities denied the girls were twins I wonder why as I'm sure there would have been childless couples would have adopted both girls together.

Whiteshirt · 28/05/2015 23:20

I'm just watching this new, and what's striking me is how much the edit flags up the difference between a suburban US middle-class childhood, all after school activities, walk-in closets, Girl Scout cookies and being driven everywhere, and Alexandra's much less organised/regimented life in a tiny Norwegian village. It seemed as if the producers were determined to emphasise the differences, down to the plastic ready-lit and decorated US Christmas tree vs the fir Alexandra's family went out to cut in the woods, though I'm sure A's life was not as solitary as it was suggested -she did have two older siblings, and school friends.

Though I did think, even in top of US norms, Mia's parents seemed very, very determined to keep her 'distracted' with all her activities, as if they were worried she might be dwelling on her absent twin.

Again, hard to tell what was different psychologies/cultures and what was editing, but Mia's parents seemed to scrutinise her a lot more than Alexandra's.

God, Fresnik is ravishing.

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