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Original poster

Don't Mess with Miss Beckles

71 replies

Whizzz · 28/03/2006 22:09

Did anyone else see this ?
Billed as being this radical guru & I didn't see much that was radical. Advice seemed to be things like tidy your room, do your homework & spend less time with your girlfriend.

Hmm...

OP posts:

ScummyMummy · 28/03/2006 22:35

I thought the mum who threw her boy out came across as an absolute bitch.

charliegreensmum · 28/03/2006 22:38

So, did I. I can respect her desire not to discuss her personal life all over the BBC, but I don't think it did her any favours.

ScummyMummy · 28/03/2006 22:39

None whatsoever. Poor, poor kid. I think he felt desperately unloved.

merrygoround · 28/03/2006 22:45

Felt most uncomfortable about "Miss Beckles:" qualifications for what she was taking on - it seemed a bit like asking a homeopath to carry out open heart surgery, because they are both interested in making people better. She opened up a can of worms which she was in no way ready or professional enough to deal with.

tamum · 28/03/2006 22:48

Oh god, me too Scummy- I was nearly in tears when he went home and she shut the door on him. And as for forcing him to hug her and the baby in the right way. I felt so desperately sorry for him, and he was such a nice lad really.

soapbox · 28/03/2006 22:49

She was pretty transactional about her relationship with him. In her big rant she could have been talking about a pig she was fattening for market, only it was a child she was getting through exams!!!

ScummyMummy · 28/03/2006 22:50

Would reluctantly agree with you there, merrygoround. I thought she was a warm personality and some of her common sense strictures made a lot of sense but she definitely seemed out of her depth with Luke and family.

ScummyMummy · 28/03/2006 22:52

I thought he was a real sweetie too, tamum. I was actually screaming abuse at the telly when she shut the door on him. How could she?

frogs · 28/03/2006 22:53

V interested to see people's thoughts on Ms Beckles -- dh has had dealings with her professionally, and has been consistently unimpressed. Finds her very good at self-publicity, but not much in the way of actual substance. The way dh has been mouthing off every time this was trailed I'd been expecting her to have horns! Actually she seemed reasonably simpatico, but most of what she said was glimpses of the bleedin' obvious, really. Still, it obviously pays her enough to afford her big Merc...

tamum · 28/03/2006 23:04

Interesting, frogs. I thought she seemed a bit of a self-publicist, albeit a rather appealing one. I agree with merrygoround too, I think she did more damage than she could correct, really.

moondog · 28/03/2006 23:08

Most professional help is bleeding obvious though isn't it??
We are just so disempowered and overwhelmed by consumer choice that we need someone to show us the way.
I watched a bit (first tv I've watched in weeks) so didn't get the reason for the kid's blow up with mum.
She came across very well on Radio 2 the other week though.

threelittlebabies · 28/03/2006 23:12

Shit, missed it. Is it repeated? And worth watching if so?

moondog · 28/03/2006 23:37

Not sure tlb.
I will watch next week's.

MadameDeMars · 29/03/2006 00:19

I knew most of those kids!

I know most of those streets.

And I know the parents! I say know, I know them in the way I know a lot of people here in the leafy suburb.

I understood what Miss Beckles was saying, but didn't feel that she was able to contend with all of it.

She mostly spoke common sense and I have to say for a parent to say I only give boundaries as far as my child will accept them isn't giving boundaries at all.

I thought Tom was a silly wee boy. He asked to be part of the programme (he wasn't chosen). He couldn't even look straight at the camera when he said that he didn't want to speak to Yo again. She only asked him to not see his girlfriend for 5 days, not 5 years. I thought his parents were unreasonable too, but as his teacher said, his tutors will get him through. The proof will be in the pudding.

I really wanted to invite Luke to move in with me. I'm not sure I'll be able to stop myself if I see him in the street to be quite honest. Josh was a sweetie. I disagreed with his mother, I think his motivation improved. I shall say no more in case they post on MN and recognise me lol!

zippitippitoes · 29/03/2006 08:36

I found this very telling about teenagers who as I just posted on another thread just can't look ahead. I don't think Beckles did have anything to motivate them with really. I think any improvement could be down to any attention being better than just continuing as part of the herd.

I actually cried at one point because a lot of it is familiar ground to me.

I did find it interesting to see how different the school looked, is it a really arty farty part of London?

I also think that the programme quite possibly was totally out of its depth and really didn't have support or skills to tackle all the sensitive issues that came out.

I was quite taken aback by how young the boys seemed for their age.

Mog · 29/03/2006 09:43

I thought this show was a real washout. None of the boys seemed improved and they weren't that bad really so any average motivational coach could have done better than Miss Beckles.

Orlando · 29/03/2006 09:48

And I surprised myself by thinking that academic achievement isn't everything. There's no way I'd throw a child of mine out onto the streets because he wasn't working hard enough for his GCSEs FFS. Try to get him some work experience in a really boring, dead-end job maybe (chicken-plucking factory that sort of thing) and follow it up with a trip to a careers advisor type person to talk about what he really wanted to do, maybe... and leave him to work the rest out for himself.

moondog · 29/03/2006 09:52

Boot up the arse by a father who can be bothered to stick around is the best motivator of all I find.

MeerkatsUnite · 29/03/2006 12:26

With regards to Luke I think he was rejected all round. This does not though excuse his poor schoolwork or behaviour (telling her to f off was a huge mistake on his part) but his home life is a huge part of his problems at school. His Mother now has a new husband and baby and his Dad also has a baby on the way. Small wonder therefore the kid's been pushed out - its like they've collectively said, "well we have someone new now to take care of so sod you".

I hope they manage to repair their fractured relationship eventually but they're both going to have to put the emotional work in. I doubt if she will.

As for Tom's parents I could have shaken them!!. Oh so their darling was upset that he could not see his g/f for five days!. Diddums!!.

Perhaps if these people had been exposed to someone like Miss Beccles or her ilk at a far younger age (at the start of primary school) and on a regular basis their general attitude towards school work would have been better. It seems to me that for the majority of teachers these days their function is to get the girls to achieve and the boys to behave.

tamum · 29/03/2006 14:24

Orlando, I agree, I felt that too. Zippi- it's in Muswell Hill, I think, my friend's dd went there.

Marslady, please take him in, that would make me so happy!

MadameDeMars · 29/03/2006 14:38

Yes the school's in Muswell Hill. I have to say that it looked prettier on the tv than it does in reality. I've been around those halls. It was my second choice school for DD1 (I'm of the single sex uniform ilk)

It's not arty farty... but lots of the local parents are liberal m/c people.

donnie · 29/03/2006 14:57

yes, it is Fortismere school in Creighton Avenue Muswell Hill - I know too many people who teach there/have taught there and do not like it for a great many reasons!
Thought all the boys were self centred spoiled and v. immature although I did feel sorry for Luke.
Also felt Ms Becles was not inspiring but merely stating the bleedin obvious!
No school uniform... tut tut.

Wallace · 29/03/2006 15:20

I saw a bit toward the end. I thought Luke's mother was very immature and awful to him. Her reason for throwing him out (again) was that her husband had said if she didn't throw Luke out, he would pack his own bags. And the mum was going on about how it was an easy choice throwing out a disrespectful teenager, than losing a man who respects her. I think it is obvious that her husband doesn't respect her if he is asking her to make that sort of choice

Wallace · 29/03/2006 15:22

And i felt like shouting at her "Who's the grownup here!?!"

Moomin · 29/03/2006 16:01

I thought she was pretty crap overall - but there again the whole premise is crap. Middle class under-achieving boys are EXACTLY like the ones shown on the programme and they nearly all end up ok in the end - they scrape through their a levels, bum about listening to nirvana, smoke dope, go to uni, get degrees and settle down into steady jobs and good lifestyles. All they needed really was a bit of attention (except Luke) which they got as I don't think Miss Beccles was able to give them a fat lot more. Luke obviously needed more; i felt desperately sad for him and he clearly warmed towards Miss B (as he did with the other mothers in the programme) who gave him some support and a hug when his own mother couldn't/wouldn't. although i have to say that Miss B's hand on his thigh was rather inappropriate!

The boys that really should be in this programme are the working class boys who don't receive any support at home. White w/c boys have now taken the bottom place in the country for under-achieving at school and beyond - i saw the latest statistics yesterday. That is where mentoring is needed - and many good state schools do that already as it has proven benefits. What Miss B was doing was a bad version of mentoring.

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